I want to look for some advices from other stepmoms in how to deal with a disrespectful teenager, which she had cause me some really upsetting times over the years. I am not sure if I am the only one dealing with this kind of situation.
I have a step daughter who is 16 years old, and a step son who is 19. Both them and their father lives in my house, also with their dog.
I like to keep my house clean but they never helps clean. Their rooms are always messy and I have to wash their laundries for them after a whole day of work. English is my second language and which I am still learning to get better at. This makes communications even more harder. I get along with my step son pretty good, because he is a grown boy now. Although on his birthday, I set up a family party for him and bought him cake, he didn't even say thank you and walked away, (can't he at least have a single bite because I wanted him to feel loved so I bought cake for him, so ungrateful).
On the other hand, my step daughter has been the reasons that kept on causing fights between me and my husband.
She takes long showers thats two hours long, sometimes the water from the shower leaks to the wooden floors on to the living room and she just walks away, she doesn't clean after herself, causing the wooden floors to get moldy and bad. Me and my husband never gets alone time, because she is always chitchatting non stop around her father, Which I do understand, but sometimes it's way too much.
Every time I clean her room, I finds dirty bowls stacked up together and leftover foods. She is 16, and she should know to rinse them out in the sink and puts them in the dishwasher AT LEAST. I reminds her multiple times but she never listens/do. When I do asks her to do house works, she asks for money in return and I do give her, sometimes $10-20, when she helps take out the trash or the dishes.
When I come home from an exhausting day at work, I have to clean up after them, i have to wash the dishes, clean the floor, put their laundry in the dryer...and so much more little things. She has never been grateful or said thank you to me, while I provide her a house to live, free food and warmths.
Last week, the dog kept on peeing on the floor and she never helps clean. I told her to clean the pee and she should train her dog but she instead, said fuck you in my face and flipped the middle finger at me. It has been three whole days and she still hasn't apologize to me. Her father spoiled her and protects her way too much. He says he does not care about what she did/said to me. I feel so hurt. I am so upset and confused. we are still in this big argument, why is it so hard for her to apologize to me for something so disrespectful she has done towards me.
Please give some support and advices, I am going to lose it, this type of situation in a family just makes me have really bad headaches.