My OH and I have just had a bit of an argument, again, the same thing started it. It’s always the same thing! Kids.
I have a 9 year old. He has a recently turned 5 year old. Both girls.
He is always picking at what my daughter eats or how she’s put weight on. She does hold weight, but I wouldn’t say worryingly. Her dad and I are both aware of it and regularly talk about her diet and also signed her up to more sport classes, which she began earlier this year. Earlier for example, she asked for a few chocolate coins, I said yes but after dinner. After dinner she asked if she could have them, I said yes once she’s put her plate in the dishwasher ect. He went off on one about how ‘she can’t eat all the sweets’ and when I told him I’d already told her she could have some, he went upstairs to watch tv ‘’not in a mood’’. There is more to just ‘eating all the sweets’.. it’s that he doesn’t want her eating sweets. This is only a minor example, but it happens ALL the time. Another example would be, my daughter doesn’t do as she’s told straight away. She isn’t a naughty child, never has been, but occasionally pushes the boundaries and drags her feet. He goes off on one and says how she has no respect for me. I’ve never once thought that of her. My daughter and I have a good relationship and if I’m being serious, she instantly knows. But I’m not a harsh parent, I’ve always been laid back and want to keep it that way.
OH and my daughter get on well, but I feel he is picking at my parenting ALL the time.
His daughter is hard work at times. Lots of tantrums, refuses to eat meals (but she can have sweets if she asks.. I should add) has accidents, draws all over her walls, bed, furniture ect. Screams .. and I mean screams.. if she doesn’t get what she wants. Slams doors. You name it, she does it. I get that kids of her age can behave that way. Mine never was like that. But I usually stay out of the way and leave him to deal with her during those times.
However, he has on many occasions said ‘it isn’t one rule for one and a second for the other’ referring to the kids. Mainly to do with bed time. Mine has never had a strict bedtime but usually I give her a time to turn everything off and try and sleep. If she isn’t tired then she reads a book or draw. The other night she was FaceTiming and playing with her friend quite late at night, it was about 9pm which she doesn’t do often, but I don’t mind it, and would have asked her to come off around that time anyway. He kicked off about how she shouldn’t be talking to friends at that time and on other occasions, says she shouldn’t be on her iPad watching things late at night. YET he puts Disney plus or whatever on for his daughter and leaves her watching all night until she goes to sleep. This can be 9.. or 12.30.. She is 5! And only that in September.
Just to add. I don’t personally like how he is as a parent, he palms her off to everyone and anyone whenever he has anything on (he’s a farmer so outside quite a lot). He tried to do it with me, but that’s a past problem which we’ve since resolved. And he has a very short temper with her.
As a twosome, we get along really well and there aren’t issues in the relationship. But the kids cause fall outs and arguments ALL the time and it isn’t even like the kids are terrible children and behaviour is causing conflict. It’s always HOW I’m parenting my child that causes issues. For him.
On many occasions recently, I’ve wanted to leave. I was in a horrible relationship before this. I don’t want to get myself in to another one where I’m frustrated and upset all the time.
I’ve tried talking to him numerous times and usually all I get is ‘fine! I won’t have an opinion’ .. I swear it’s like being with a moody teenager!!
i just don’t know what to do..