AIBU? (Stepmum edition) To go to the office during half term

[lentilly]

I work a mix of WFH and in the office and so does my DH we arrange it so we aren't both WFH at the same time as we had enough of that in lockdown. It has just come to light that he assumed I would be doing my usual days during half term but I was planning on going into the office more! I didn't want to be in a house with the noisy DSC. Anyway aparantly this is not being a team player as means he can't go into the office..hang on a minute who did he think would be around when the kids where here and he wasn't...that's right me..

AIBU (stepmum edition) to say no I'm going into the office everyday they are here.

But presumably he can do things with them on what would be his "office" days and wfh the rest of the time?

Yes I mean this would have been the obvious solution if I were him. He's generally fair with this sort of thing and I think he just hadn't thought it through. But that in itself annoys me as we have shared DC (much younger) and I'm always thinking these things through.

Is this the first time this has ever happened?

What are your DC doing this half term?

Nursery and my sibling. But I'm always the one working out which of us covers in case of sickness.

Yes first time as they usually split each week 50/50 but have decided to split a week at a time now for all holidays as the kids prefer that

Guessing you’re not particularly close to your step children?

Shame that your DH has booked days off in half term and won’t be spending with all his children

How long have you been their stepmum?

Why?! They dont a do everything together and we pay for nursery either way. The DSC probably benefit from having time with their dad where they don't have to share it with a toddler. They can do things like go out to lunch and take their time. Best of both worlds.

Not sure what you mean by particularly close. I'm pretty close I guess. But no I'm not a "mum" figure.

Why are you just posting numerous posts berating the OP who's done nothing wrong?

She doesn't want to have to supervise children while she's trying to work...

Shame that your DH has booked days off in half term and won’t be spending with all his children

This comment is just shit stirring.
There is a large age gap and he lives with the younger kids full time.

Yes I have zero problem with him not taking the youngest out of nursery. The oldest will like to go to the shopping centre and out to eat and stuff without a toddler cramping their style.

Is there a reason why you have ignored all the people who have asked how old your step children are?

The fact he hasn't asked is the problem. Even if kids are older, they may still require some input so it's polite to ask.

No, I thought I'd answered it with this The oldest is old enough when on their own. They get silly together and I don't really want to spent my working days asking them nicely to shut up. but they are 10 & 13 nearly 14.

But I think exact age is irrelevant. Eldest can be left alone youngest can't. Youngest can't be looked after by eldest as they get too silly/fall out. Mum and dads choice.

👏

what has liking them or not got to do with it? If you like them are you supposed to volunteer holiday days unsolicited to mind them? She's organised childcare for her own dc and didn't occur to her to check what his plans for dsc was. It's not like she's taken holidays and expected dsc to make themselves scarce.

Almost certainly not closer than their father who apparently also doesn't want to look after his children since he's chosen not to book leave or WFH himself.

Yanbu. They’re not your kids so you have no responsibility towards them .

Totally agree

ehich is precisely why i will never ever ever blend families. For my sake. For any SCs’ sakes. And, most importantly, for my own childrens’ sakes.

Bit harsh!

Don't worry about it @lentilly , there's always a few posters who think that if you're a SM then you should always be available to your DSC even when their own DP's haven't asked you in advance. You seem to have handled this very sensibly by refusing to cave and letting your DH get on with it