Summer Holidays - AIBU

[SandyWedges]

We have shared DC and DH has 2 other DC (my DSC). We all get along fine. Summer holidays are approaching and DH is grumbling as I haven't booked time off work while he has DSC. I just don't see the need to really, DC is at nursery and it feels a little odd to me if the 4 of us all go on a day trip and leave DC out. AIBU? I suppose I could take a couple of days off and go for a meal or shopping but I don't like the idea of all of us being miles away and leaving DC at nursery. Am I being ridiculous?

That’s a great point @Magda72.

i think the ‘poor victims of divorce who must be compensated’ divorced parent guilt underlies a lot of this crap. NR children must get two big holidays, two Christmases, two birthdays, inheritances from SP’s and their extended families, and so on, day trips and treats every weekend.

But at no point should anyone consider how much more they’re getting than other children in the family. No because that might compromise their position as poor victims.

Resident children should just wait for their half (or even step) siblings to show up to get anything. Day trips, holidays, even bloody birthdays and Christmases should wait til the SC can benefit from them. That’s also why the idea that the OP wants to keep her annual leave for her child is so troubling for people.

OP - if you were going to spend the whole time with the Stepkids and your DH then people would be telling you to give them their space and to let them have time alone!

clearly you’re around for them and you do things as a family but that doesn’t mean you need to always take time off with them. I’m sure they’ll love time off with their dad and also weekends with you and their siblings.

sending you a big dose of solidarity!

We used to do this. Ex DP, my son and I would go to theme parks and leave the DC we had together at nursery. My ex DP had no problem doing this. I mean we had plenty of other issues but with this he was happy to take time off for days out that weren’t that easy with young kids.

I find it odd you wouldn't book at least a few days AL to spend with your children (biological and step) and DH as a family.

Why have kids if you never plan on spending time with anyone of them and just use leave for solo shopping trips?

Evenings and weekends exist?

I do spend time with my DC. We have weekends and the odd day I have off, and then I spend lots of it when they are sick. There is only so much leave in the year. I need some time by myself or I will burn out.

Apparently not.

you’re just not doing enough as a SM unless you’re using your annual leave for entertaining the SC. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I find it odd that anyone would expect me to spend my precious annual leave entertaining a kid who is not mine.

I mean I get given a day specifically for Christmas shopping so even my employers think its a valid us of my time