Am I being over sensitive

[Bunnies53]

Partner if two years has a daughter. We go away regularly camping. I have a daughter too who occasionally comes.
before we got together my partner and his daughter went away by themselves. Since we got together they haven’t.

I give them time on their own both while we are away and at home. We don’t live together. He has just announced that his daughter misses them being alone together so they are going away for the weekend by themselves.

I feel shut out.
thoughts?

Just to be clear, our dc are biologically mine and dh’s.

How often does your boyfriend have his daughter generally? Whose house does he see his daughter in, yours or his?

Without fully knowing your situation, I wouldn't imagine it being a case of you not taking enough of a back seat, in fact I doubt it's even got anything to do with you. Just a kid that used to spend time camping with her dad and wants to do so again.

Honestly, I think you are ready way too much into it and should just plan some fun stuff to do with your DD whilst they are away.

There shouldn’t be an issue, you only have a daughter each!? Unless there’s actually way more kids involved in this set-up

Like 5 more that you’ve forgotten about or something 😂 no problems

I think it's clear your intentions are good here but no child would want a girlfriend or boyfriend of their parent around all the time, especially when it's for a thing they used to share themselves.

This is possibly a situation you need to give some time. You've only been together two years and don't share a home, you're still finding your balance with this.

I wouldn't take it too personally. I used to go on trips with one parent as it just gives some special one-on-one time.
However, if this becomes a reoccurring thing then your partner will need to step in and say no on certain occasions.

You're being overly sensitive.

I'm sure you're doing a great job being a step mum, but it's also totally fine for them to want to go camping just the two of them.

I remember being the child that craved time with my absent parent. It was really hard. I felt I couldn’t be myself and was always on my ‘best behaviour’ - ie alert and not totally relaxed despite a good relationship with SM. Two years in is NOTHING.

I didn’t feel able to say anything … your SD can - and actually that’s really positive.

Enjoy the 121 time with your own DD. It’s precious!

They are NOT alone! You are there! Children need one to one time with a parent whether those parents are separated or not!
My own DH would take one of our DC, at a time, for an overnighter occasionally, it gave the child special time without their sibling and time with their very busy Dad!

Yes you are being over sensitive

My DH takes his children away without me. It's not a big deal, they deserve that time with their dad. I stay home and enjoy the peace!

You shouldn't feel shut out. The fact is you are NOT her mother, not even a step mother, and time spent with you there means her dads attention is divided. A weekend is nothing and it's great they have such a close relationship.
My husband took his sons away for a week two weeks before I was due to give birth - it had been planned before I got pregnant and my only worry was if the baby came early (which he did, a couple days after my husband returned).

Me too.

I work with a couple.of little.girls who would.love this with their dad's who mow have a new family.
My own dd is broken hearted because she never gets any time with her Dad. He always has to include at least one of his four other kids with the woman he went off with when dd was 8 months.
She has asked him.but he won't. Even Xmas day when he comes for an hour at the most he brings them.all.
I think this is fine op.

Christmas day I can't see why it's wrong to bring her half siblings along personally. If it was his turn to host Christmas they'd all be there as a family. But refusing to even go for a coffee or something with her by herself is ridiculous. Even in a non step situation one on one time with a parent is invaluable.

Op nobody in the replies has been mean to you , yet you're getting very defensive and SENSITIVE again

Don't ask for advice on a forum then get pissy cos you don't like the answers

Time alone, with you lingering in the house somewhere etc , or only an hour or 2 maybe isn't enough for his DD. I think she is entitled to want to spend the odd weekend with her father alone.

Please don't see this as a negative reflection on you, or take it personally. Her relationship with you may be absolutely fantastic - but she can still want to go camping with just her dad for a whole host of reasons.

Let her have this with good grace and don't allow it to start making you doubt yourself or affect your relationship with her. Do something wonderful just for you while they are gone and be really pleased for them when they have a great time.

She needs to feel that she is still a priority to her dad and this is a great way for him to show her. I promise you that it is not about you and I find it's best not to take anything personally with kids whether they're your own or not.

OP I think you have had some pretty sensible replies (with the exception of Disisit who appears to be a raving one woman anti step parent campaign all on her own 🙄)

I am a mother or 3 and step mother to DH 5. Now all adults but when they were little I actively encouraged DH to do 121 camping trips as everyone needs a bit of quality time with a parent. Take the opportunity to do the same with your DD she will love it !

Good to see a parent look out for their child and listen to their needs for a change.

Couldn't agree more!

Please think of the big picture. He's being a great dad. Give his dd some extra pocket money and wish them the best, use the time to do something great with your daughter and plan something for the four of you when tou can chat about the time apart.

Very kind of you Op, controlling much?