AIBU? Babys name

[Nicsworld]

DH has a DS from previous relationship and we are due a son together next month. DS1 doesnt have his fathers surname but has his first name as his middle name e.g his own name ,John junior as middle name after my DH and then his mother's surname. My DH really wants our son to be called after him so would be John junior then this one would be having our surname. I think its unreasonable as his first son has this as his middle name already. Who is BU? Me or DH?.

Yes is he planning all his children ever to have his middle name

Do you want to call your DS after your DH, OP?
I love my DH but it would be a cold day in hell before I used his name; I don't like it. Used his brother's for DS1, even though I don't love it, because he really wanted to, and I now get full naming rights over the one currently gestating. Do you actually like his name enough to call your kid it?

I feel its inappropriate to his eldest and I would feel guilty.

Is this your only objection? Because what if his older son doesn't mind...would you still have an issue.

Just so I'm clear...your husband is John Jones...his older son is John Jones Smith...Smith being his maternal surname
And he wants this child to be John Jones...have I got it right?
So he has 2 kids called John?

I think he's a narcissist but I would agree to giving DS2 his name as a middle, so it's the same as DS1

All the boys in my family have Alexander (for example) as a middle name, I quite like that !

Dad us John Jones
Older son is David John Smith
Younger son would be John Jones.

Give him his own name and his own identity. Don’t name your baby after your DH just so he gets an ego boost. Eughhh.

One of my SS has my DH name as his middle name and I absolutely cringe about it. 😐

Giving chldren your own first name is very narcissistic. Look, mini-me! Cringe.
If he's being arsey about it, tell him you'll only consider using his first name if it's paired with your surname ...

Sorry OP, but I’m cringing at this. I could understand it if your DH had taken a stand on his DS1’s last name, lost out and was happy that DS2 was having it. But DH’s fist name as DS2’s first name is really odd, as is DH’s adamant approach to this.

Time to take a stand and make sure you son ends up with a first name you both like. Not one that has been imposed out of vanity and ego. Good luck!

@SandyY2K if you read @IstayedForTheFeminism post she has the names correct. Anyway everyone I have told DH tonight I don't want our DS having his first name as he will have his surname and thats just how it is so we are just going to have to agree on a name we both like for the baby. I said to him his first DS has his name as his middle and this baby will have his surname so that should be enough. He has said ok. Thanks everyone for putting things into perspective for me x

@IstayedForTheFeminism

Thanks for the clarification.

@Nicsworld well seems that went well/ hope you find the perfect name for your little one x

I think naming your own child after
yourself is incredibly narcissistic. To want to it twice is verging on pathological. Guaranteed to give his oldest son a complex, too. Utterly
messed up.

Your dh is either unimaginative, ridiculously stereotypical, or ... that's it. What else had he planned for this dc? Has he decorated the dc's room, helped to buy things, shown any interest? Or it's it all about his Name?!

Just a thought but does your DH have a name that can be adapted with son?

Jack- Jackson as in Jack's Son
John-Johnson
Harry- Harrison
Peter- Peterson
David- Davidson

You get the drift

This could be a way to incorporate your DH name as a middle name with a twist and could make you both happy- then it is different to DS1 x