AIBU? Babys name

[Nicsworld]

DH has a DS from previous relationship and we are due a son together next month. DS1 doesnt have his fathers surname but has his first name as his middle name e.g his own name ,John junior as middle name after my DH and then his mother's surname. My DH really wants our son to be called after him so would be John junior then this one would be having our surname. I think its unreasonable as his first son has this as his middle name already. Who is BU? Me or DH?.

I think your right it doesn't seem fair to take it away from. DS 1 and it's weird that brothers would share the same name albeit one a middle name. Although One of Prince George's middle names is Louis and is younger brother is also Louis.

I personally wouldn't do it though-What if you have another son in the future? would be want him to be named after him too? Or would he feel left out.
He has one so. Names after him, he doesn't need another.

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable as such, because this is such a subjective matter.

Two of my siblings are named according to this scenario. Older sibling 1 = "John" is their middle name and younger sibling 2 = "John" is their first name. Nobody really pays that much attention to middle names from day to day and my siblings don't mind.

The only thing I'd worry about in your shoes is whether I liked the name enough to use it.

DH is being very unreasonable (and pretentious) to want both his kids to be named after him. I can understand calling a child after a grandparent or a significant person in your life but calling them after yourself is...

Middle names really don't matter. I don't see the problem, although you both need to agree.

Why does he need his dc named after him? Vanity?
What about if you have another boy in future?

Other than that.
It works for the royals. As a PP said one of George's middle names is Louis.
Childhood friends of mine were called Catherine Louise and the younger sister was Louise Jane (not real names)

How old is his DS1? Could you ask him what he thinks?

Its more to do with the fact of Ds 1 being the one with his dads name as he is the eldest. I think if it was a random name it would be different if they both had it whether it was first or middle. I don't know if its taking it away from Ds1. Although I totally agree im unsure why he feels so strongly about his kids having his name.

I kind of think DS1 has his dad's name as a middle name.
DS2 will have his dad's surname.
So they both have his name, just different bits of it.

Tell me you at least get a say in his first name. Since DH gets the middle and last...

It would be really weird to give half brothers the same name. And might make the older child feel that he’s being replaced. Horrible suggestion from your husband.

Just no.

I think dh would be sending a message to ds1 that he was doing it right this time. His name first, his surname. As though he'd wanted that the first time around but his ex refused and now he's getting the son he wants. I'm sure that's not intentional but I imagine for ds1 it could seem that way.

If he's so into his traditions then it should be
Babyname DHname Yourname. See how he likes that for an idea.
As PP said, if this baby will have his surname then it's all equal, both sons carry a part of their fathers name.
Something to quite off, especially with the potential sensitivities of a half sibling relationship, for both to have the same middle name IMO.
"Here come my true son and heir, carrying two of my name's, not just one"
Oh no.

Well I'd say fine he gets your first name, if DS 1 is ok with it, but my surname. It might help him get it in perspective.

As long as they have a different first name I can’t see a problem.

Wait, so basically your DH, let's call him Ken Adams, has Mike Ken-Junior Jones, his first son and now he is wanting Ken-Junior Adams for his second son? Or simply Ken Adams, the same exact name?

Either way it sucks for the older lad and it's extremely narcissistic

I was going to suggest baby have your last name too.

Tbh I think DS1 might feel a little pissed off with the idea of having the same name so if you did want to do that he should float the idea with his other son.

I find it weird when people want their child to have the same first name as them. Yes middle name makes sense especially if it’s a family name but why would you want 2 Johns for example, isn’t it just going to be confusing for everyone which one you’re talking about?! There are so many names out there, it does feel narcissistic.

How old is DSS?

DSS has his Mum's surname and Dads name as middle name and my DC has DSS' first name as his middle name. However he is quite a bit older and likes that his brother and he share a name.

I don't think it is weird for both DSes to have the same middle name; I've known loads of families who do this but your DH wanting to decide this himself is off putting.It might be a way to include DSS in the whole process. .Does he want to share his name with his new brother?

Your baby should have his own first name. He's a person in his own right not a mini copy of his father.

It's weird. Its narcissistic and a dig at his elder son.

Please give the baby your surname. The ex appears to have made the right choice in doing so.

Why does he need to have both sons named after him!!

Given the half-sibling, blended family scenario I would steer well clear of sharing any names.

The child will already have his name if he gets his surname

I know full siblings who have the same middle name and I find that odd too. So it's not the step thing here that makes me go no, but the half sibling relationship can be a tricky one and I wouldn't personally do anything that might cause ill feeling before baby even meets DSC.