live with parents - permission to stepmother

[andrematrixxx]

After two years, I lost my job and I need to go home at 20 years old.
I talked to my father, however, he told me that I need to ask permission from his second wife as well.
I have a cordial relationship with her, but it is very humiliating to ask her permission to live with my father.
Besides, they have a one-year-old daughter and I don't want to be in the way.

*I can not get up from the table before they also finish eating, phone off
*
This is basic manners. You're old enough to already know these things.

She is fixated on tidiness, cleanliness, and I can't leave the house until my room is taken care of. *
*
This is also basic manners and hygiene. You are old enough to keep things tidy and clean! I feel this is an over exaggeration on your part.

No visits from friends

Go out and see your friends. They have a baby of course they don't want all your fronds round.

and a sore point, she demands that I get vaccinated.

I'd want this as well. I believe it's the right thing to do. If you don't want it that's fine also, but you'll have to find somewhere else to live.

I had a lot of sympathy for your situation at the neighing of your thread but you are coming across as very ungrateful and immature now. You blame all these rules on your step mother when actually your father is there too. He presumably follows these rules too so he has a hand in setting them. You don't like her very much by the sounds of it. I'm not sure what you were expecting. To move in and be allowed to do whatever you want, have whatever room you want, bring whoever you want back? And to top this off you were expecting your baby sister to be turfed out of her nursery so you could have your large room back again after 2 years. As an adult, sharing a space with other adults comes with rules. You are living in their house for free, I'd expect you to act like a grown up as well.

I think your dad is a bit of a wet blanket, every person in that situation would have consulted their partner/spouse and let you know of the decision they have taken as a couple.

The fact that he is sending you to consult with her is not nice for you or for her, he is putting you in a begging position while putting her in the difficult position of having to say no if not convenient.

I understand why you are feeling like that, if you do really need to stay there, you need to ask her but try to be quick at getting the hell out of there as quickly as you can as your dad doesn’t seem like a person that could help keep the peace at home if disagreements start happening for whatever reason.

@BonnieConnie

*I can not get up from the table before they also finish eating, phone off * This is basic manners. You're old enough to already know these things.

She is fixated on tidiness, cleanliness, and I can't leave the house until my room is taken care of. *
*
This is also basic manners and hygiene. You are old enough to keep things tidy and clean! I feel this is an over exaggeration on your part.

No visits from friends

Go out and see your friends. They have a baby of course they don't want all your fronds round.

and a sore point, she demands that I get vaccinated.

I'd want this as well. I believe it's the right thing to do. If you don't want it that's fine also, but you'll have to find somewhere else to live.

I had a lot of sympathy for your situation at the neighing of your thread but you are coming across as very ungrateful and immature now. You blame all these rules on your step mother when actually your father is there too. He presumably follows these rules too so he has a hand in setting them. You don't like her very much by the sounds of it. I'm not sure what you were expecting. To move in and be allowed to do whatever you want, have whatever room you want, bring whoever you want back? And to top this off you were expecting your baby sister to be turfed out of her nursery so you could have your large room back again after 2 years. As an adult, sharing a space with other adults comes with rules. You are living in their house for free, I'd expect you to act like a grown up as well.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not criticizing SM. I know a lot of kids who have both parents, spoiled, and living like eternal immatures. And I respect the rules of SM. My dad says my mom was very weak with me and that I wouldn't learn to live. Instead, having strict guidance teaches me that the world doesn't just revolve around me, and this will be helpful for my future. However, this does not mean that I should feel like a guest in my own home.

Why would you 'feel like a guest in my own home' if you are being asked to clean up after yourself and contribute to family life? That's contradictory to the point you're trying to make.

However, this does not mean that I should feel like a guest in my own home. how does asking you to follow fairly reasonable rules of the house make you a guest?

And you've moved out. This is a favour. Sort your attitude out.

However, this does not mean that I should feel like a guest in my own home.

As an adult child who has lived on their own, moving back home will never feel the same as before you left.

Also as PPs the rule about being considerate to the other adults in the household now you are yourself an adult are completely reasonable.

Then, I am very sad that I have not regained possession of my large room, in which I had wi.fi connection and game station.

You don’t game. You study.

So a game station would have been no use to you

It would be my worst nightmare as the wife of a man with adult children. Of course he needs to consult her!!

I assume he’s not married to two people so she is actually his wife. Much like mums are mums and not bio mums, wives are wives and not second wives. The terms are not technically incorrect but quite insulting.

On this App, stepmothers are always right.
If I don't get my room back soon, I'm considering a hunger strike.

@andrematrix

On this App, stepmothers are always right. If I don't get my room back soon, I'm considering a hunger strike.

What are your living arrangements? A standard room, or the cupboard under the stairs? Any progress with moving to England?

@SpaceshiptoMars
A super high-tech, comfortable double room.
Anyway, I got a part-time job here.
I don't earn much so I prefer to stay at home.
I don't pay rent, my stepmother cooks well and I don't even babysit for free anymore.

@andrematrix

On this App, stepmothers are always right. If I don't get my room back soon, I'm considering a hunger strike.

More than one adult woman I know has kicked out their adult son. Not step-son but full biological son.

This is because the adult who has moved back in is inconsiderate.

So don't presume it is just step-parents who object to adult children living with them.

You sound entitled and ungrateful. It’s her home too and of course it’s courteous to ask.