And how much my husband babies him. It infuriates me.
My step son is 12, nearly 13, and is never made to lift a finger, ever, to do anything.
And it's honestly starting to really annoy me. When I grew up, chores were just part of life. My parents were never hugely strict but by that age I was expected to do small things to help out, tidy my room, wash up sometimes, set the table, that sort of thing.
My step son is made to do nothing at all. He's never washed a glass, set the table, has tidied his room less times than I can count on one hand. He doesn't even make his own breakfast before school my husband rushes around in the morning making sure he's got a bowl of cereal placed in front of him whilst he sits there watching TV.
I'm a SAHM and sometimes help out in the mornings. But I am now refusing to take him to school unless the weather calls for it. I'm not messing all the other children around driving a 12 year old 15 minutes down the road. At that age I was getting on public transport for 40 minutes to two towns away to go to school! I also refuse to sort his breakfast out too and if he doesn't make any for himself (which I shout down to him and tell him to do) then that's tough, we'll still be leaving.
His room is absolutely disgraceful. I have given up asking for it to be tidied because DH doesn't enforce it. But I won't go in there to do things now like change bed sheets etc.. there is just shit everywhere, all over the floor, rubbish etc.
I've just had enough and am now completely detaching. Whenever I bring anything up to H he says it's nothing to do with me if he wants to make him breakfast or whatever, fine no it's not (even though it still annoys me watching it), but I'm not going to be expected to do the same.
He says I won't be as hard on my DC when they are that age and I'll be exactly the same which is absolutely not true. I absolutely plan (and do already) to get my children to do some small age appropriate things around the house and I certainly won't be rushing about every morning making pieces of toast for teenagers! My toddler already knows to put toys away and things when asked.
I appreciate this is not my step sons fault, he's never been made to do these things but it's just making me resentful of the whole situation. I understand teenagers are lazy, I'm not expecting the world. But even if he was just asked to do some things, keep his room tidy or whatever, I'd feel better. Even if he didn't actually do it in a weird way?! At least I'd feel like DH had some actual expectations of him and how he treat the house if that makes sense? I used to pull my face at being asked to tidy my room and it wasn't always tidy at all, but my parents still told me to do it, I couldn't have just gotten away with being treated like a 5 year old all the time.
Driving me nuts.