Hi All,
I'm 6mths pregnant with my first child and so so excited to become a mum for the first time. Everything is so new and exciting and I can't wait to hold my little bundle for the first time. My partner has a 8yr old daughter from a previous relationship and it's been a bit of a struggle since telling her about the baby.
No matter how much we reassure her she is not really coming around to the idea of the baby and keeps taking "huffs" with her dad and then not speaking/seeing him for a week and then saying she feels pushed out because of the baby. No matter how much he tries to reach out and see her in the meantime. We haven't even seen her for Christmas yet due to the last incident. Her mother then enables this behaviour doesn't encourage her to speak to her dad and it carries on unnecessarily for a lot longer than it should.
It's even started to impact our relationship in a way. As sometimes I can't help but feel resented for being pregnant and wanting to grow our family. Even though this is something we both wanted and actively tried for. The reality and impact of it is something neither of us expected. I'm sick of this pregnancy being made out to be as if it is something we are doing to upset and hurt my partner's daughter when we are just growing the family that she is part of. I understand that children will have a mix of emotions when a sibling is on their way and of course her feelings are valid however I can't help but feel the emotions aren't being directed in the right way and she seems to have very little guidance.
It's at the point now where my partner and his dad are also completely overreacting to the situation and making it a lot more dramatic than I feel it needs to be, pandering to these behaviours. Which in turn makes it worse and it continues to happen again again. I feel very alone at the moment as I feel all my partner and his dad are thinking and caring about is my partner's daughter and it is becoming centred around her. I can't remember the last time we had a conversation about getting ready for the baby that didn't swing back around to his daughter when in my eyes as harsh as it sounds it isn't all about his daughter. At the moment I feel it is just me and the baby and then them. I don't have any other family here as I moved 500miles to be with my partner so sometimes I'm feeling like I'm lacking in support. I want to be there for my partner and I know he wants to do right by everyone but I can't help but feel that all his focus is in one place and not the bigger picture. I'm so grateful for my pregnancy and I hate being made to feel like I've done something wrong or that the baby and I are being resented. I really don't know how to make this situation better for us all as a family. But I'm getting extremely exhausted by it. I may be over emotional or overthinking a lot of this due to hormones but it's all I can think about at the moment and the only thing my partner and I argue about.
Looking to here from people who have been in a similar situation and how/if things got easier. No keyboard warriors please with only judgmental things to say.