Step son not saying 'Hello' when he visits

[Nonose]

Does anyone else have this? Am I wrong to think it's rude not to say 'hello' to me in my own home?

What is your relationship like with him generally?

how old is he?

Of course it's rude. Why isn't his father addressing this?

It doesn’t matter how old he is as long as he can talk.

Of course he should say hello. Do you greet him and he ignores you? What’s his dad say about that?

Unless there is a massive backstory or stepson is a very young child, then it's probably rude in my opinion. There's no reason not to have basic manners.

Do you say hello to him and he doesn't answer? Or are you wanting him to say it first?

Very rude.

Is the boy a teenager?

So you say “Hi Jimmy, how are you?” When he arrives and he ignores you?

Nearly 16. He's the younger of 2 but the older one is now away at uni, so these are the first weekends we are having him on his own. TBH, we don't have the greatest relationship because he doesn't communicate much (He is the same with DH). My DH just defended him when I told him about it which irritated me more to be honest. Because if I came home and never said hi to him, he would be the first to call me out on it.

Need more information. How old is child? Is he shy? Does he feel pushed out or jealous of sharing his dad? Do you get on?

So, he was at a sleepover last night and I was out when he arrived and he was having a shower. He came downstairs, completely ignored me and went to get breakfast. I normally say 'hi - how are you first' but I was a bit shocked.

*sorry, having a shower when I got home.

If he is 15, would you be happy with a grunt? That's fairly standard communication.
I would work on improving the relationship rather than forcing a hi out of him.

@Sally872 he's almost 16. I wouldn't say we have the best relationship - there have been several issues over the years. But I always say hi and ask how he is. He definitely knew I was here and later he was walking the dog and just again, walked past me without saying 'hello' or even looking at me. It's really put my back up.

Does he talk to you otherwise? Is it just a hello that is missing or is he not talking to you at all?

He sounds rude.
There's not a history of conflict between you, DP and DSS mum by any chance?

We sometimes get grunts from DS(16). I do remind him that it is rude

What does your husband say about it, and have you confronted your stepson? He's not a small child, he's nearly an adult who's acting like a little shit.

So what? He probably doesn't like you.
Leave the poor kid alone

You sound pretty controlling and uptight.

It's telling that you say 'in my own home'

Maybe he picks up on you being territorial and not particularly welcoming?

DH has always made excuses for him. There have been issues over the years with him keeping himself apart from everyone else (I tried to say it was unhealthy and would cause issues down the line). He used to spend a lot of time on his xbox while the other kids were sat with us. No issues at all with older SS. Younger SS has been massively babied and his mum is not easy for my DH to communicate with.

@Feelingofftoday It is my home. And my husbands home? The boys do not live here and as much as we want them to feel comfortable, they are probably more comfortable in their own 'home' where they live majority time with their mum? If anyone came into my home and ignored me, I would not like it. I'm not controlling, I just don't like bad manners.

So what? He probably doesn't like you.
Leave the poor kid alone

Jesus Christ, the bar is low on here.

"The boys do not live here"
He should feel he lives here, that this is his second home.

Trust me,. some 15 yr olds are very uncommunicative and just out of step with their blood families.

So it's not a stepmother issue, okay?
He will grow up one day and probably turn out to be a complete charmer.

Just grit your teeth and wait for the teens to end. The good news is, your 15 yr old takes showers.