Hello,
I have been with a lovely man for a year and a bit and met his children 6 months ago.
They stay now every weekend Friday until Sunday. I have two children myself and have included them just like I do my own two. We bake and go out etc.
The last three months their behaviour has become unbearable. They come into the house on a Friday night and absolutley within half an hour trash it. Cushions off the sofas, throwing toilet paper in the toilet and the last two weeks which has me concerned the 5 year old has started coming in and kicked and punched the dog.
Now I stress here I have done everything. Spoken about it, put him on the naughty step, taken the dogs away from him with no contact, explained what he's doing. He laughs in my face and his dad's. We were on the naughty spot for an hour on Saturday because everytime I asked him if he understood what he had done was wrong he just laughed at me. When he finally gave in and said sorry, said sorry to the dogs he walked straight up to one of them and grabbed its face.
They straight up don't listen. They have crisps or snacks and literally throw the packet on the floor and walk off. I make them go and pick it up but it takes 5 attempts to get them to do it and next time they have a snack they just do the exact same thing.
They won't say please or thank you so I have refused to get drinks or make food until they use manners. They finally say it after a huge tantrum, but again, the next time it's like they have forgotten the conversation even happened.
I got the 8 year old a phone so she could WhatsApp us. She has used it to be horrible to a girl at her school. I sat her down and spoke about it with the messages in front of me and she was just like nah wasn't me.
I am at my wits end. I thought long and hard before entering a relationship with someone with kids and wanted to be a good step mum, but now I feel like I am doing the job of both of their parents myself.
I speak to their mum about behaviour and she just says oh yeah they do that at home too......
I am reinforcing it and trying to help them while they are here but its now just draining me spending all weekend tidying up and basically moaning.
My own kids are teenagers now and we never this disrespectful and rude.
I don't know if I am the problem or its the lack of parenting they have the rest of the week and my two day contribution just isn't going to cut it?
The 8 should have basic manners now surely? Not be telling me and her dad to shut up when she doesn't get her own way?