Evil Stepmum’s Greetings Card Collection

[KumquatSalad]

Here on stepparenting, we are developing an exciting new range of greetings cards to help express your feelings to the evil stepmother in your life.

Come share your designs with us. There’s a large untapped market out there to be captured. 😁

@Dollyparton3

This is so sad. This debate will flip on its head when the children grow older and want the latest smartphone. You'll foot the bill for that and it will happily bounce between houses

oh yeah, i was good enough to take out a contract for DSS, mind. And the phone that came from "her" was welcome in her house. Funny that, isn't it?!

And I wasn’t the OW just in case anyone thinks that is why she does this.
Her ex could have shagged half the country and it still wouldn’t excuse her being a dick to her own child.

@TrustTheGeneGenie what do you mean you've baked cakes with DSS and took out a phone contract for him, didn't that other thread prove you're a cruel, heartless cowbag who hates the poor wee lad because you might want the option of putting your own DC first if the occasion necessitated it? Hmmph.

[quote MyCatHatesEverybody]@TrustTheGeneGenie what do you mean you've baked cakes with DSS and took out a phone contract for him, didn't that other thread prove you're a cruel, heartless cowbag who hates the poor wee lad because you might want the option of putting your own DC first if the occasion necessitated it? Hmmph.[/quote]
yes, i am pure evil mwahahahaha

Contrary to popular belief around these parts i've actually really tried to be a good influence in his life. Now he is a 16 year old with a girlfriend and pretty much lives at her mums house and he no longer bakes cakes with me but there is certainly no deep rooted hate for my evilness!

I’m not sure how you’d make this into a greetings card, but I remember vividly being at my first NCT meeting with all the other soon to be first time parents.
We all had to go round the room and each say one thing we were worried about regarding having a newborn baby.

Well, guess what my DH said? Yes, that’s right! “ I’m worried about my DS and what the new dynamic will be like.” Or something along those lines. 🙄 perfectly valid but how about letting the unborn child herself just have a moment, or allowing us at least initially appear the same as these strangers, who could be friends ...

@Cuppachino we have had exactly the same thing when the DSC were small. She threw them in the bin at our front door saying loudly 'we don't eat things made in that house' DSC just looked confused

@EvilKinevil I’m so sorry but your husband sounds like a complete bully.
It’s (as you’ve said) triangulation. SS is the victim. Your DH is the rescuer. And you’re the persecutor.
Super convenient and avoids anyone who actually needs to take responsibility taking any.

We can all see what’s happening and all I’ll say is this. If this stuff is consistently being laid at your door, you will start to internalise this.

You’re not responsible for your SS’s mental health. You don’t hold enough sway. Sadly your DH seems so entrenched in this dynamic I’m not entirely sure what can be done to change things.

If my partner kept threatening me with divorce, eventually I would tell them not to let the door handle hit them on the arse on the way out. Awful behaviour.

Laughing at all the cake stories. To be fair I’m not entirely sure I’d eat anything baked by my exp’s EXW. She hates me. It would probably be laced with laxatives 😂😂😂

@MyCatHatesEverybody 😂😂😂😂
That’s brilliant!

Delicious!

Has anybody mentioned “The fact that I hate you take my children on holidays doesn’t mean you can stop taking them with you”

Honestly, she made us cut short three holidays and the SC were always acting nasty and entitled or made to feel guilty because “poor mummy is alone at home”.

So no more holidays with them (or DP), she had the audacity to complain to me that SC’s dad doesn’t take them anywhere if I don’t go. I really didn’t know which truth to tell her first:

1. she always ruins our holidays
2. the kids are unbearable to be with
3. of course he doesn’t take them anywhere, it is imposible to get them away from the Xbox to have lunch forget about getting out of the house in time to the airport without the entitled kids putting a fight.

Instead I smiled sweetly and change the topic. It was me who was taking them on holiday, not his bloody dad!

We had the same Karma.

An absolute sweetheart until the DM would send prying WhatsApp messages. “Nice photos DD, but what about photos of MzHz and MiniMstrHz?”

She didn’t send any but wtaf?

That was day 1. Day 2 and 3 were great until we got back of an evening and more WhatsApp messages niggling at her. So she became rude, surly and just bloody awful.

The wifi ‘broke’ after that...
She only got to her once more just before the end of the break and it was so bad we had to actually pull her up and ask her directly what had been said to her to upset her and that we weren’t here to have everyone on eggshells because of this, so to stop it and be the lovely person we knew she was

Job done.

The next year we found a house in the middle of an island with no wifi and no mobile signal... obvs we did not tell her anything about this. Just that potentially there might not be Wi-Fi so to bring books and games just in case.

Sadly the ex scuppered everything anyway by convincing the child that 2 weeks was too long, that she’d be bored, that she’d miss her mum, that she’d be traumatised because her best friend was moving to another country absolutely nothing to do with where we were from/going.

SD had her brain absolutely fried by the DM and was so unbelievably cruel in laughing and saying she wasn’t going to come and tough etc...

So we never invited her again. Our holidays are boring? Right... no worries

Holidays without her and her bile dripping mother tagging along through the power of tech are bliss.

@MzHz
You sound resentful. Surely you knew what you were getting into...

@MzHz I can tell you so many things about the dreaded holidays but they are so extreme and ridiculous they make me 100% identifiable, so I won’t grin.

She was the one who left the marriage, treated him like shit, took the assets and left him with the debt, demanded 3x the amount of CM, which he paid and therefore drove him further in debt and for what? So the kids live like much richer kids, attend private school, have luxury holidays 5 times a year and... look down at his father because he is “poor”, a “loser” and only takes them to shit “boring places”.

He is a dotting parent, he goes out of his way to be there for his kids, but god forbid she calls him on one of her days to tell him (unexpectedly) the kids need to be picked up in half an hour from a place that is two hours away when we are away.... the second he says no as is too far to get there in time, he gets text after text with abuse, refuses to engage with him over the children for weeks and goes crying to his family and his friends about how he leaves his own kids stranded to spend time with me or...walk my dog...

She has convinced even his family that I’m the “OW” (I met him more than a year after they split). I feel for him being treated by people as if he was a dreadful parent. But I refuse to get in the drama. I have chosen not to see his kids, he sees them at his house, on his days and on any other days she may need childcare. That gives me one to one time with my own child, time to see my friends and do my own thing, no dramas and nastiness every other weekend and keeps his deranged ex wife sweet and the kids out of guilt trips. Is this right? No. Has has she got her way by forcing no interaction between me and his children? Possibly, but it works beautifully for... me grin

[quote Youseethethingis]@MzHz
You sound resentful. Surely you knew what you were getting into...
[/quote]
😂🤣

OH ex is awful. This is history repeating itself because it’s a carbon copy of what she did with previous older dc dad.

not my circus. Not my SDC.

Karma when his kids are older he can make plans directly with them and block the ex.

He needs to tell his family to back him up and not entertain this crap

He’ll find a way through but at least you and your dc have peace and drama free time.

We have no contact with her now, she tried a mega Covid regulation busting move at Christmas attempting to get oh eldest (different mother) to pick up youngest and bring her to us. Neither of these family groups were observing the rules. No chance!

Frankly, I think he is beyond that. The family has cut him off so we only get to see them when we bump with them in parties with mutual friends., but they always treat him as if he was an irresponsible person bringing the OW into the group. Thankfully his friends are lovely and very welcoming, they like him but I do think they believe the lies she is spreading. I do not remember how many people have asked how we meet but most of them seem surprised when I mention the time, it seems the idea that I caused the split has been spread even if she seemed very proud she had left him. All this victimhood only started when she realised he had found someone else.

But again, no contact is better than constant drama and at the end of the day, it is better for everyone, contact is for kids to sustain and develop a bond with the NRP and with this arrangement they have him on a one to basis every other weekend and I can have the same with my son.

Ah, so the “were you the OW?” card goes to you then

🤣😂

KumquatSaladThese seem great but could you make some for all the bitter single mums. I’ve added a few suggestions below to get you going.

“He left you for a reason, move on”
“Let’s hope your kids don’t end up as messed up as you”
“Your kids will do what I tell them to do In my house, sorry”
“Maybe if you weren’t so nasty you wouldn’t be in this mess”
“Move on and buy a cat”
“We all laugh at how sad you are”

Good luck with the new business

That’s horrible @Msnet11212 - who says that? I’ve never heard that in my life. I’m both a stepmum and a second wife. The term ‘bitter single mum’ reeks of misogyny as well.

“Remember your are just the second wife and will never be as important as the first family”
“It’s tacky to have a big second wedding”
“First families come first always and forever”
“Just do as your told”
“You are only the second family”

Did you miss all the above comments made by OP or does it only count and horrible and Misogynistic if directed towards a single mother ? @HamnetandJudith

No, I am a second wife myself. I have a blended family. I was also a single mother.

I’m a step parent and my DH’s ex is a difficult woman, but I think “bitter single mother” is a horrible term.

Actually I’ll be honest, I don’t like the term “first wives club” either.

There are some horrible nasty people out there and it’s really no more than circumstance as to whether they happen to belong to the first wives club or the wicked stepmother club. Cunts gonna cunt.

Any term that lumps women together as some kind of homogenous group based on their lowest common denominator does nothing more than perpetuate the stereotypes designed to keep other women down and leads to the kind of unhelpful attitudes and projection this thread is calling out.