Evil Stepmum’s Greetings Card Collection

[KumquatSalad]

Here on stepparenting, we are developing an exciting new range of greetings cards to help express your feelings to the evil stepmother in your life.

Come share your designs with us. There’s a large untapped market out there to be captured. 😁

@EvilKinevil I am loathe to say this but tbh it sounds as though the apple hasn't fallen very far from the tree...

@MyCatHatesEverybody, I think you're right.

"Once when you were walking me to school when I was 8, you asked me if I'd done my violin practise and I was scared of telling you that I hadn't." I asked back, And what happened when you told me you hadn't?" and he answered. "I can't remember."

Oh the irony in this statement - she's an evil stepmum yet she's walking her DSS to school!

Ok so I wouldn't expect a child to get this but it's a perfect illustration of how so much we do is taken for granted. Of course that applies to pretty much all parents, except the parents aren't doing anyone a favour by doing the school runs whereas step parents are.

@Coronawireless

You only have to look at the mentality on here to see why there’s such a mental health crisis in younger people.

and step mothers. Bore off.

[quote EvilKinevil]@MyCatHatesEverybody, I think you're right.[/quote]
You deserve MUCH better than to be treated like that by your husband and DSS.

@Coronawireless

You only have to look at the mentality on here to see why there’s such a mental health crisis in younger people.

How so? Do we have any factual sources to back that up or are we about to have your meandering musings again on "I once knew a stepmum who didn't buy sweets every Friday for her stepson and now he's a gibbering wreck of an adult, so there, all of you orrible lot are responsible for the mental health crisis in our country."

The adult abusive stepchild in my family definitely has mental health issues but that's very clearly due to the parental alienation that her mother has carried out over the years and teaching her that manipulation is the key to success in every relationship she holds. As a result she's miserable, demanding, obsessively jealous of the rest of the world and addicted to social media (commonly understood as the biggest contributor to a net negative impact on mental health and more addictive for 16-24 year olds than cigarettes or alcohol)

@EvilKinevil just ignore Coronawireless, they are a goady, ignorant poster. Not worth your time responding to. Sounds to me like your DH needs to wise up before he loses you entirely - you'd be well within your rights to leave just on what you've posted here.

Popped back on to have another smile at the greetings card collection. Oh surprise, the thread has been derailed. How disappointing, yet predictable... we are not allowed to have nice things, are we.

here's another one for you

"Anyone who has more than one child signs away the right to always put one first. And anyone who has children with someone who already has children also does"

does anyone else remember signing their rights away when they started dating their dp.... i dont?

I also got told i am playing up to the stereotype of evil stepmother for putting my own and only child first! BINGO!

@BooksMusicSnacks

Popped back on to have another smile at the greetings card collection. Oh surprise, the thread has been derailed. How disappointing, yet predictable... we are not allowed to have nice things, are we.

We are but only if we hand over the lions share of the fun to the stepchildrens mothers and the stepchildren.

My anecdote..
As a stepchild I was treated differently, I was aware I was a guest in my stepmum's house, my brother will inherit everything, I will receive nothing, I rarely got taken on holidays or days out.
They divorced, my beloved stepmum is very much still a part of my life. My Dad, I've seen him 3 times in a decade.
I'm not fucked up in the slightest over any of this.
I Don't think pandering to stepchildren no matter what is appropriate or helpful
Sorry Coronawireless.

Another corker. Funny how it rarely seems to apply to threads about the in laws...

(For context - I can't recall anyone saying they "didn't care" about their DSC, if they did then it was a minority. People were just pointing out that they weren't wrong to prioritise their own child over a DSC if appropriate to do so).

@dollyparton3, THIS! What you said, is what I think I have to look forward to.

Falsely empowering these children does them no favours. We have someone who now won't wash unless he feels like it (seriously), won't do any schooling at all but constantly talks about how he has a plan; stays in his bed in the dark watching things on his phone...

Said his mum was a toxic manipulative person, and because of her he is now manipulative too. So there you go, he's manipulative, but it's all his mum's fault.

So his dad's response to this is for us to have him whenever he feels like it. And for DH to scream at me and threaten divorce if I have any needs.

His mum is a narcissistic nightmare, that is true enough, but allowing SS to go whoever he pleases and do whatever he likes is not the answer.

Latest news texted in is that SS now won't come to our house at all. And that is My Fault. For asking can we stick to four days a week.

Sheesh.

@EvilKinevil how are you managing to get up each day and face this bullshit? That must be so stressful to be gaslighted by your husband and stepson when you know its them at fault, especially in therapy when they both have zero examples of your supposed wrong doing.

@EvilKinevil ah, the old triangulation tactic of holding a gun to your husbands head and making it your fault.

We've had years of this. And SD weaponising every tragic memory she has from the day she left the womb. At new year I was the bad guy for the way I said something but when we picked it apart there was nothing wrong with what said. It was all factual but the delivery wasn't to her liking.

You can't win with a master manipulator. We now go with the "...and? Ok can we now do this debate so that we don't have to repeat it for the next 40 years? I think by the age of 20 you should have got over the fact that we went to dinner on a weekend when you decided not to visit because you were at a party that day and it was your choice, no we don't OWE YOU A BLOODY WAGAMAMAS" before my DP used to cower in fear that he was a terrible parent because she'd line these up machine gun style"

And in a NORMAL family that conversation would be ok, right? No normal parent would out up with a teen throwing it at you that you questioned his violin practice on the way to school once. Snowflake much?

I sat on a family holiday once when I'd setup a very generous allowance for my two steps who have a 2 year age difference. SD told me across the table that she'd worked out that I will "owe her" £1200 when she reached 18. That's because we told them we'd give them an allowance until they left school and she worked out that her younger brother would benefit from 2 years more allowance than she would. Neither of my in laws or my DP joined me in the debate or defended me when I pointed out that she was being rude and entitled. I left the table in the end in disgust that all of them ignored the way she behaved. Because even at the age of 14 they were already too scared to stand up to her.

Some tough times ahead for you unfortunately and it's taken a lot more of the same for my husband to see the light. But he has. Keep talking on here because on the whole we are all genuinely very supportive

I love these. Thankfully in real life it's a lot easier for me ... I'd need "you are a lot easier to live with than my mum, can I live with you" and yes I'm very thankful!

Ps she's at university

@Dollyparton3

It is such an, obvious old trick isn't it! I have learned so much - about gaslighting, triangulation, conflict by proxy... I've read so many books.

IT IS SO EFFING BORING. Stuck again to the same old pattern - two years ago it was, " he doesn't want to be around you, he's scared sh**less of you", and now it's "He wants somewhere to have a break from his mum, and this is his hoooommmme, I don't understand why he can't just be here....you find him a threat."

It's the same story of blaming me for every aspect of SS's mental health issues, while not doing any actual parenting himself.

And what will happen is that the SS will now have DH all to himself whenever he likes - job done! DH will be taking him for two hour drives in the evening to chat and listen to music while I look after the (second and therefore irrelevant ) kids.

I don't really know how I manage to physically stand up at the moment to be honest.

I am not a SM, but ds is 18 and his gf has moved in with us for lockdown.

I find it interesting, as I just assume that as part of the household, she will do what we do, and follow the house rules.

I sat them both down yesterday and had a word about going to bed at 3 am on a school night and then not being up to do lessons.

I know that there are not step dynamics and that she really is a guest in my house, but still, she is a teen, it is my house, you guys can rub along with the rest of us.

My teen dd baked some cakes with little step dd. She wanted to take them home, with an extra for her mum. Her mum promptly binned them as step kids aren’t allowed to have anything that comes from our house.

My teen dd baked some cakes with little step dd. She wanted to take them home, with an extra for her mum. Her mum promptly binned them as step kids aren’t allowed to have anything that comes from our house

Your story reminds me of the first time I made cupcakes with SD. She was so excited to take them home to her mum and show them off.

Her mum refused to eat one, point blank refused her little girls cake that she made for her.

When SD told me, I genuinely was utterly baffled but eventually I had to accept that a grown woman would actually be so cruel to her own child over jealousy...over a cup cake.

This is so sad. This debate will flip on its head when the children grow older and want the latest smartphone. You'll foot the bill for that and it will happily bounce between houses

I don’t think so with DH’s ex. She wouldn’t even let her son have my ds’s details for minecraft so that they could play together. She runs away from my dc if she sees them in the street. They wouldn’t be allowed a phone as they would be able to call their dad - so it would be taken off them. All contact is court ordered, including Skype calls during the EOW contact - where she openly manipulates the dc and makes critical comments about our household. Needless to say DH is going back to court.

And I wasn’t the OW just in case anyone thinks that is why she does this.

@HamnetandJudith

My teen dd baked some cakes with little step dd. She wanted to take them home, with an extra for her mum. Her mum promptly binned them as step kids aren’t allowed to have anything that comes from our house.

I baked some cakes with DSS, and he took a box home with him, his mum binned them in front of his face because we are not having anything from "her" in our house. Dick.