Evil Stepmum’s Greetings Card Collection

[KumquatSalad]

Here on stepparenting, we are developing an exciting new range of greetings cards to help express your feelings to the evil stepmother in your life.

Come share your designs with us. There’s a large untapped market out there to be captured. 😁

Has there been a "were you the OW" card yet?

@maudspellbody

“You sound awful. I’m so glad my children don’t have a stepmum”

I think this one is actually a big part of the problem.

Women in marriages with DC, who maybe are going through a rough patch, look at SMs and are scared. Their existence is proof that marriages can fail and their own DH could, theoretically, meet someone else and have a second family.

The whole idea that people sometimes do that is scary, so they paint SMs as evil family breakers (regardless of the actual situation).

I think that is a lot of what the SM hate is about.

Nope. It’s about the way some (not all) of these women speak about the stepchildren and behave to them.

Why do people insist on coming onto these threads and referring to 'some of the women on this thread' but never actually specifying which ones they find so terrible?

If you've a problem with something, why don't you try saying what it actually is so it can be discussed. I mean you don't have to obviously but seems like a pointless contribution if not.

@Coronawireless I get that anyone is free to post but why are you sniping on a thread started by a step parent for step parents to vent about the shitty treatment and prejudice they receive when you're not a step parent yourself (or if you are, you're clearly not experiencing these issues)?

No one is saying we only want to be told how amazing we all are etc. But there is a clear group of non step parents hanging around the step parenting board who only" post on threads where they see an opportunity to stick the boot in. They trot out all the kind of cliches we're calling out on this thread but never* bother commenting on the type of posts where there's nothing potentially controversial going on and they could give some genuine advice on a human-to-human level. Funny that.

(excuse the bold fail)

Oh OP, this deserves a place in Classics, this thread is just so spot on for so many of us. Massive thank you, I really needed to read this today!

I'm thinking a few more inclusions along the lines of … "YOU'RE not good enough to spend time with MY children - but I need you to have them next weekend"

"You're not leaving your entire inheritance to your stepchildren? No wonder they call stepmums evil!"

Parents, please feel free to moan about how difficult parenting is.
Stepparents, don't ever say one negative word because y'know, double standards. My god, if I put a "YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO" ("YKWYWGI"?!) retort onto some parenting posts, there'd be war. It is so entirely and utterly unhelpful.

My god, if I put a "YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO" ("YKWYWGI"?!) retort onto some parenting posts, there'd be war. It is so entirely and utterly unhelpful.

Actually you do see a version of this on AIBU or Relationships when an OP is moaning about how lazy their DH/DP is with the kids and someone will say "why did you have children with that man?!" And then they get told by loads or posters in no uncertain terms to stop being an unhelpful twat and try coming out with something useful. Funnily enough that same empathy doesn't seem to apply to step parents.

@maudspellbody

Here's one which will tie in with the subjects of wills and inheritance: said to me by EW

Your child will be stealing from my children's inheritance

This is horrendous! What a cowbag.

I had a colleague who was furious her ex died and split his estate between his 3 childen- 2 of which were the eldest and hers. She complained bitterly about why should the third child 'cop an entire third of it?'

Um......

I felt she was fairly reasonable until then but could not really look at her in the same way.

Nope. It’s about the way some (not all) of these women speak about the stepchildren and behave to them.

Nope. It's about the fact that whenever any of "these women" ( aka step mothers) speak about their step children or however they behave towards them it's inevitable you will get at least one poster (usually more) making they type of remarks that the cards have highlighted.

Fixed it for you....

Nope. It’s about the way some (not all) of these women speak about the stepchildren and behave to them.

Pray tell, how has anyone here spoken direcrtly about their SC that could be considered offensive? From where I'm standing, the most anyone has said is that they don't view themselves as parent to them, thr focus of which being that they don't appreciate poor attitude from other adults about that.

Nobody here has even spoken about how they "behave" towards their SC so that point is purely biased nonsense.

@aSofaNearYou

Nope. It’s about the way some (not all) of these women speak about the stepchildren and behave to them.

Pray tell, how has anyone here spoken direcrtly about their SC that could be considered offensive? From where I'm standing, the most anyone has said is that they don't view themselves as parent to them, thr focus of which being that they don't appreciate poor attitude from other adults about that.

Nobody here has even spoken about how they "behave" towards their SC so that point is purely biased nonsense.

This whole thread was inspired from another thread where the SM couldn’t understand why her DH wanted to bring his 5 year old DD (her SD) on holiday with her and their new child, nor why he was getting angry with her for trying to exclude the 5 year old.

Inspired by

These made me laugh. I do not miss the 'you knew what you were getting into' brigade. Soooo fucking rude and ridiculous.

But true.

@Coronawireless

Buts it’s not true.

I mean, no one would tell a new mother struggling with her baby that she knew what she was getting into.

No one would tell a student struggling with their degree that they knew what they were getting into.

No one would tell a smoker diagnosed with lung cancer that they knew what they were getting into.

I think @maudspellbody is right.

This whole thread was inspired from another thread where the SM couldn’t understand why her DH wanted to bring his 5 year old DD (her SD) on holiday with her and their new child, nor why he was getting angry with her for trying to exclude the 5 year old.

You know full well it was inspired by a thread where she wanted an adult break with her husband, not a family holiday. And it's perfectly reasonable to not understand why someone would call you evil for making that suggestion, or indeed most other suggestions.

You are wasting your time here. You're not changing anyone's mind and you're not getting the clearly desired result of making any of us feel bad, either, because everyone here just thinks your comments are ridiculous.

where she wanted an adult break with her husband

😱

The horror!

If you're not a step parent, please don't come on here bashing us. We're having a discussion on being a step parent and the shite that gets thrown our way.

If you don't like this thread, please do what the majority of us do, which is if you don't like or don't have anything nice to say, then move along!

@Vivi0

where she wanted an adult break with her husband

😱

The horror!

@Vivi0 call social work!! The audacity of it! 🤷🏻‍♀️

This whole thread was inspired from another thread where the SM couldn’t understand why her DH wanted to bring his 5 year old DD (her SD) on holiday with her and their new child.

In your endeavour to paint that OP in as bad a light as possible you left out the very pertinent facts that a) it was specifically an adult orientated break OP was referring to, not a family holiday; and b) the OP’s own child is a young baby who doesn’t need entertaining. Both are details which give essential context to the situation as much as when you see posts about people wanting to bring their DC to a child free wedding or expecting DC to be able to fix themselves some cereal for breakfast - the child in question’s age is an integral part of the scenario.

Looked at logically, if the OP was simply interested in excluding her DSD then why her rush to fit in a city break before her baby becomes a toddler? Surely her own child’s age would be neither here nor there if the OP was determined to exclude her DSD from family holidays as a preference?

Not that this isn’t already covered extensively on the thread in question but just filling in some missing details should anyone read that selectively edited précis.

@Vivi0

These made me laugh. I do not miss the 'you knew what you were getting into' brigade. Soooo fucking rude and ridiculous.

But true.

@Coronawireless

Buts it’s not true.

I mean, no one would tell a new mother struggling with her baby that she knew what she was getting into.

No one would tell a student struggling with their degree that they knew what they were getting into.

No one would tell a smoker diagnosed with lung cancer that they knew what they were getting into.

I think @maudspellbody is right.

They might if they new mother had met her new baby in many occasions before she decided to have it! The scenarios you list are just nothing like a woman who decided to marry a man with existing children

@MyCatHatesEverybody

This whole thread was inspired from another thread where the SM couldn’t understand why her DH wanted to bring his 5 year old DD (her SD) on holiday with her and their new child.

In your endeavour to paint that OP in as bad a light as possible you left out the very pertinent facts that a) it was specifically an adult orientated break OP was referring to, not a family holiday; and b) the OP’s own child is a young baby who doesn’t need entertaining. Both are details which give essential context to the situation as much as when you see posts about people wanting to bring their DC to a child free wedding or expecting DC to be able to fix themselves some cereal for breakfast - the child in question’s age is an integral part of the scenario.

Looked at logically, if the OP was simply interested in excluding her DSD then why her rush to fit in a city break before her baby becomes a toddler? Surely her own child’s age would be neither here nor there if the OP was determined to exclude her DSD from family holidays as a preference?

Not that this isn’t already covered extensively on the thread in question but just filling in some missing details should anyone read that selectively edited précis.

I completely agree!

It would be a different story if the OP and her DH had a child together who was, let's say, 10 and they were going to Disney world in Florida and NOT taking the dsd (child's half sibling) because you just "didn't want to".

I wish people would stop trying to tear others apart because they are the oh so perfect parent!

@WhateverJudy are you a step parent?

@WhateverJudy are you a step parent or step child?

If not why are you putting the posting about things you have never experienced so don't understand?

@RedMarauder probably has a child(ren) who have a step parent and looking for ways to bash step parents 🤷🏻‍♀️ that's my guess!

@OohlmBindedByTheLights there are some step-children who post on these boards because they blame their step-parent for how their parent behaved to them. When in fact their parent was just a shit parent.

@RedMarauder no need for behaviour like that.
It really infuriates me that people think it's ok to demonise step parents!