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Original poster

I’m worried I’ve ruined Christmas

128 replies

SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 01:33

I’ve had a blocked nose for about 4/5 days and lost my voice, no other problems and none of the covid-19 symptoms stated on the NHS website.
I’m prone to allergies and sinusitis so it’s not unusual for me to have a blocked or runny nose.
My SD arrived here last weekend with an awful cold (of which we’d had no warning) which caused my youngest DC to get poorly, which in turn made me unwell but nothing dramatic, just cold symptoms.

Tonight (literally in the last 2 hours) I’ve developed a hacking cough and my lungs feel like they’re on fire. I’ve been able to book a covid test for the morning as there were lots available but I’m not sure how quickly the results come back and it’s our year to have my SCs for Christmas Eve.

I’m praying my results come back before lunchtime on 24th and obviously hoping it comes back negative.

Wtf am I meant to do? My DP is going to be so upset if it means he can’t see his kids and he has to isolate with me.

I know he’ll be furious too because I broke the rules to meet 2 friends this week after we suffered an awful tragedy regarding another friend of ours. We were distraught and I know it’s against the rules but we really needed each other.
We wore masks the majority of the time and were a distance apart so I’m worried he’ll blame me even though he’s a key worker and I work in an office 3 days a week so I (or we) could have picked it up from anywhere.

I’m so upset. I’ll be made out to be the evil stepmother who ruined Christmas.

It’ll be even worse if the results aren’t back in time so we’d have to miss out on seeing them and then get a negative result because I’ll have caused them to miss Christmas Eve together for nothing.

My DS was also supposed to be going to stay with his dad tomorrow night which will now have to be cancelled.

Also I went for a socially distant walk today with my mask on to visit a friend who’s child has just been diagnosed with leukaemia. We stayed more than 2m apart, fully masked up and outside but I’m still worried in case I am positive and the impact that could have on her seeing her child.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, I’m just really distressed and feeling very unwell Sad
I don’t want to ruin Christmas for my DCs, DP or my SCs.

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 23/12/2020 02:25

There's something very wrong with the dynamic of your relationship if your partner blames you for being ill. Especially as you're both working outside the home.

I hope you feel better soon and the test is negative.

lovelemoncurd · 23/12/2020 02:26

The results come back in 24 hrs.

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 03:18

@KylieKoKo no bad dynamics at all but he’s really excited at having his kids for Christmas and they will kick off (as will their mother) and DP will get the brunt of it.

24hrs? Is it that quick now? I had to have a test in October and it took over 48hrs to come back. I really hope it is 24hrs and negative

OP posts:
Accidentaltransfer · 23/12/2020 04:14

My DD had a test a couple of weeks ago and got results in 24 hours and a few friends said the same so fingers crossed for you that your result comes back negative Xmas Eve morning. I'd be tempted to lay the groundwork now with DH and say you've just heard someone at work had a positive test so that he is tempted to blame you for meeting friends. But also, he sounds incredibly unsupportive!

Daneel · 23/12/2020 05:32

Bloody hell. I was with you until you said you'd met up with a friend whose child had leukamia, while you already had the cold symptoms!

That was irresponsible even with a mask and socially distanced. If her mum catches a cold, she won't be allowed near her own child. And even colds can be really serious to a child on chemotherapy. So although the risk is significantly lower with the mask, it's not worth even a tiny risk.

Starlightstarbright1 · 23/12/2020 05:37

My Ds had a test a couple of weeks away. Result was 22 hours later. Test was on a Sunday so fingers crossed for you

wizzler · 23/12/2020 06:13

Dd took a test at a drive through at 4 pm and we got the results at 10am the next day. Fingers crossed for you.

ChangingStates · 23/12/2020 06:19

Tests for me & both kids 2 days ago, results took 26 hours

Mintyt · 23/12/2020 06:23

I had a test at 12.30 and the results where texted to me at 10 am. - now this shows how important it is not to meet up but I understand why you did,

ScubaSteven · 23/12/2020 06:34

OP, if it's positive you could have picked it up anywhere - your DP shouldn't be mad at you for being ill. If Christmas needs to be different then so be it, surely it can be celebrated at a different time once everyone is ok? Not ideal but there are families in much worse situations right now. He shouldn't be making you feel bad about this.

Which tier are you in? I thought meeting up outdoors was ok (up to 6 households) as long as it wasn't it a private garden? Unless you're tier 4 then I don't know the rules. I hope you feel better soon OP, I hope you get a negative test (not because your DP will be mad but because it's a scary illness that could make you feel terrible).

BlackCatShadow · 23/12/2020 06:37

It can’t be helped, can it? It’s not your fault that you are ill. You can still do Christmas on another day. I’d be worried about your friend though. I hope she doesn’t get sick.

LockdownSanta · 23/12/2020 06:49

It's not your fault if you have caught Covid and I doubt you got it off your friends if you wore masks and kept 2m away.

Moving forward, as the StepM, you are not everyone's whipping boy. Don't let anyone blame you for anything out of your control.

Fcuk38 · 23/12/2020 06:55

It is what it is he’ll have to get over it. However you met with friends, wore a mast “most of the time” and then met with someone whose kids got leukaemia? That’s the real issue here!

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 07:02

@Daneel my friend’s child was literally diagnosed on Saturday and treatment hasn’t yet started. I was with her and her son the day before on a walk, again socially distanced and mask wearing and she was aware I had a cold both times so it’s not like I hid it from her.
And when I say I kept my distance I mean we were at least 2m, probably more most of the time. She has no family close by and she asked me to come as she was a complete wreck and needed to talk.

This is the same awful reason that caused me to meet up with my other 2 friends again masked up and outside because my friend who is the mother of the sick child was too distressed and busy at the hospital to answer to talk to them.
So I met them to tell them what was happening with regards to potential diagnosis and treatment plans etc so the sick child’s mother didn’t have to keep repeating herself.

@Accidentaltransfer I’ve spoken to DP and he’s said “Well what can you do?” and sort of shrugged looking disappointed. He did say he was pissed off with me meeting the other 2 friends yesterday but I pointed out that for these symptoms to start now I must have caught it at work. It’s highly unlikely I would be coughing less than 6 hours of coming into contact,

I also pointed out his ex and my SCs are not adhering to the rules at all and are seeing whoever they like so I could have even caught it from his kids. Like I said eldest SD arrived at our house unwell on Sunday, I was out shopping and came back to find her sprawled on the sofa after she’d missed most of the contact weekend due to claiming she was too ill to come.
I was furious because I didn’t know she was coming and she’d already been in the house and around my DCs for over an hour by the time I got home.
It was so irresponsible of DP, her and her mother to allow this.
And like I said, my youngest DC got poorly within 48hrs of her being here and me not long after that.

I can tell DP is narked that I’m poorly even though he hasn’t said so. He’s not what I’m worried snotty though. His ex will be utterly vile if we suddenly spring on her on Christmas Eve that we can’t see SCs and have to isolate.

I’m sure I’ll get accused of doing it on purpose or something or we’ll get screeches of “But I have plans”

If it turns out to be just an awful cold then I will help with the prep, witness the present opening Christmas morning and then slink off to my room most likely. We’re supposed to be going to my DM’s for Christmas dinner when SCs go to back to their mum’s (they split the day) but I can’t see us going to DMs regardless of the result because I still wouldn’t want to make her poorly over new year etc.

This is utterly shit Sad

OP posts:
Daneel · 23/12/2020 07:25

Then your husband is being an utter arse being annoyed with you for meeting them.

Yeah, it's an awful thing to happen. I hadn't realised your friend agreed to meet knowing you had a cold. She must be too blindsided by the diagnosis to think. She'll be warding anyone, with as much as a sniffle, off with garlic and a crucifix before too long...

I hope your test is negative.

Gohackyourself · 23/12/2020 07:31

Op unfortunately your DP will be frustrated and upset, that’s understandable, any more than that would be wrong.
Unfortunately i have trouble comprehending the fact you have met up with ppl since being ill.You could have potentially caused 3 friends to be ill and a vulnerable child.
At the moment people have to play safe even if they think it’s just a cold.....for themselves but also everyone else.
Please avoid going to your DM.

TheBuggerlugs · 23/12/2020 07:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 07:43

At the moment people have to play safe even if they think it’s just a cold
I didn’t meet up with anyone without pre-warning them that I had a blocked nose, which is not a symptom of covid anyway.

Regardless of the pandemic if I had a cold and had plans to meet I would always say “I’ve developed sniffles so I’m happy to postpone” and let them decide if it bothers them then we’d do whatever activity another time, no big deal.

I’m still 99.9% sure this is a cold as it feels upper respiratory and the symptoms point towards a cold rather than covid, but it’s panicked me and I’m dreading how DP’s ex and SCs will react if it does turn out to be covid.
The fall out will be worse than the illness

OP posts:
Positivelypatient · 23/12/2020 07:46

Is your SC not getting a test too? Surely they were the source of the cold symptoms if your DC and you got poorly shortly after their visit?

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 07:49

@Positivelypatient you’d expect so wouldn’t you, but I doubt that will happen. She’s fine now so I can’t see her agreeing to a test.
My DC is fine now too so their illnesses lasted a max of 72hrs, mine seems to be dragging on unfortunately.

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 23/12/2020 07:49

You lost my sympathy at the point you knowingly met up with a child who has recently been diagnosed with leucaemia. You do realise that if this child catches your cold his chemotherapy will be delayed which could impact his prognosis.

And no, saying the parent was aware you had a cold is irrelevant. You knew of the diagnosis, you had a responsibility not to meet up with this woman.

The rest pales into insignificance in comparison. If you test positive then you’ll have to deal, but even if you don’t, you didn’t have any issue meeting up with and putting vulnerable people’s lives at risk who are vulnerable even if they catch a cold...

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 07:55

Also we’re tier 3 so we’re allowed to meet for socially distanced walks in groups of up to 6.

My youngest DC is also in the same class as my friend’s sick child and they had been playing with each other all day at school on Friday and after school on our walk.
Child had some concerning bruises, friend asked my advice and took him to A&E Saturday morning when more appeared and then a diagnosis was received by Saturday night although the exact type he has hasn’t yet been identified.
It all happened so quickly and believe it or not, bar the bruising the child showed no other signs of being ill. He’s still surprisingly ok which is positive because it appears to be have been diagnosed in the very early stages.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 07:59

You do realise that if this child catches your cold his chemotherapy will be delayed which could impact his prognosis
Yes I’m fully aware. I was nowhere near his mother and we both wore masks and she was hysterical. I spent the majority of the time sat at the other end of her driveway, she just needed someone to vent to.

They both had Covid tests on Sunday before being allowed to be transferred to the children’s hospital which came back negative by it’s still a worry.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 23/12/2020 08:02
  1. It's not your fault if you are ill
2 tell the SC to stay away for their own good. Even if it's not Covid they dont need a shitty cold and neither does their dm.
  1. Arrange a zoom call for Christmas day and see them in person midweek.
Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 23/12/2020 08:02

You lost my sympathy at the point you knowingly met up with a child who has recently been diagnosed with leucaemia
I didn’t meet up with a child diagnosed with leukaemia, I saw him the day before his diagnosis and saw his mother from a distance the day afterwards because she was an emotional wreck. At least 2m at all times, the length of a driveway for most of it.

OP posts: