I’m worried I’ve ruined Christmas

[SpongebobNoPants]

I’ve had a blocked nose for about 4/5 days and lost my voice, no other problems and none of the covid-19 symptoms stated on the NHS website.
I’m prone to allergies and sinusitis so it’s not unusual for me to have a blocked or runny nose.
My SD arrived here last weekend with an awful cold (of which we’d had no warning) which caused my youngest DC to get poorly, which in turn made me unwell but nothing dramatic, just cold symptoms.

Tonight (literally in the last 2 hours) I’ve developed a hacking cough and my lungs feel like they’re on fire. I’ve been able to book a covid test for the morning as there were lots available but I’m not sure how quickly the results come back and it’s our year to have my SCs for Christmas Eve.

I’m praying my results come back before lunchtime on 24th and obviously hoping it comes back negative.

Wtf am I meant to do? My DP is going to be so upset if it means he can’t see his kids and he has to isolate with me.

I know he’ll be furious too because I broke the rules to meet 2 friends this week after we suffered an awful tragedy regarding another friend of ours. We were distraught and I know it’s against the rules but we really needed each other.
We wore masks the majority of the time and were a distance apart so I’m worried he’ll blame me even though he’s a key worker and I work in an office 3 days a week so I (or we) could have picked it up from anywhere.

I’m so upset. I’ll be made out to be the evil stepmother who ruined Christmas.

It’ll be even worse if the results aren’t back in time so we’d have to miss out on seeing them and then get a negative result because I’ll have caused them to miss Christmas Eve together for nothing.

My DS was also supposed to be going to stay with his dad tomorrow night which will now have to be cancelled.

Also I went for a socially distant walk today with my mask on to visit a friend who’s child has just been diagnosed with leukaemia. We stayed more than 2m apart, fully masked up and outside but I’m still worried in case I am positive and the impact that could have on her seeing her child.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, I’m just really distressed and feeling very unwell
I don’t want to ruin Christmas for my DCs, DP or my SCs.

Blimey OP be kind to yourself

None of it is your fault and it’s just awful timing. You’ve done what you had to do to support a friend in need. And socially distanced walks are allowed up to tier three.

Your DP may sulk but that says more about him than you. If you’re ill and if it turns out you do have covid he needs to look after you and put his own feelings aside. He doesn’t sound very supportive.

Look after yourself

And we had a test on Sunday morning and results came back 26 hours later

Sorry you are feeling rough but you now have a new cough so you need to isolate even if your result is negative.

@Wigglegiggle0520 thank you.
I can’t stop crying because I feel awful for ruining Christmas. I also feel really guilty because if my SCs can’t come because I’m too ill then not only is my DP going to not see his own kids but he’ll also have to help look after mine which feels like a double blow.
“Sorry you can’t see SCs but you also need to now take on the full responsibility for 2 kids who aren’t yours for the duration”.
I can see why he wouldn’t be thrilled at that prospect.

But that’s what your DP took on when he blended families. As PPs have said your relationship doesn’t sound too healthy.
You’re probably getting upset as you’re ill so get to bed and just rest. Regardless of the result, try to get yourself feeling better for Christmas Day

Thank you again @Wigglegiggle0520

Honestly if your test comes back positive then it’ll be crap, but your DH needs to grow up a bit. He was angry at you meeting friends, but you were entirely within the rules and in exceptional circumstances. Also if he tested positive when his kids were at yours I bet he wouldn’t feel bad about you having to step up to look after them!

My DS’s test came back negative in 23 hours last week, so a lot of them are moving very quickly.

Thanks @NewLockdownNewMe. I’ve been able to move my test to the earliest appointment at 9am so I’m hoping I’ll have the results back by tomorrow morning.
If it’s negative then I’ll just stay in my bedroom while my SCs are here... we are on an entirely different floor with our own bathroom as we have attic conversion so there’s no need for me to be around them.
I could even have my kids sleep in my room on Christmas Eve and stay up here opening their presents until SCs go home about 10.30am so the kids don’t mix too. It would be so bad as my bedroom is like a flat, it’s really large.

it wouldn’t* be so bad

If it’s negative why do you need to separate the kids?

No wonder I’m in tier 4 when people, with colds - knowing we are in a pandemic - meet so many people, including breaking the rules. How many people between you and your step children do you think you have infected?

You realise masks only REDUCE the spread not prevent it - even more so if it was just one of those trendy fashion masks not a medical grade one (which I doubt you would have had) - they are about as much use as a chocolate teapot in stopping the spread of the virus 🤷‍♀️

You've been a bit irresponsible If I'm honest and flouted the rules several times. What's done is done but I'd be disappointed if I was your DH too

Fingers crossed for you OP, and I really hope your DP doesn't react how you fear he will. It could happen to anyone and it sounds like you've had an awful time of it

@NewLockdownNewMe because if anyone in your household has any of the symptoms you all still have to isolate for the full period and my kids have obviously been with me throughout. I would also like to see my DCs open their presents so want them with me... they’ve already been exposed to whatever illness I’ve got so it doesn’t make any difference.

But I wouldn’t risk passing it on to the SCs as their would be uproar with his ex. If DP chooses to be around them that’s his choice but I’m visibly ill and I don’t want any blame coming back onto me if his kids catch whatever I have.

@Coffeeandcocopops

No wonder I’m in tier 4 when people, with colds - knowing we are in a pandemic - meet so many people, including breaking the rules. How many people between you and your step children do you think you have infected?

OP is in tier 3 so has no bearing on your situation. She went out in extreme situations. And didn't see anyone once she actually got a covid symptom (the cough). How many people do you think are allowed to take time off from work for example with just the sniffles?

@ivfbeenbusy I haven’t flouted any rules, I’ve been within the guidelines at all times. We’re in tier 3 and outdoor socially distanced walks are allowed with less than 6 people.
And it actually was a blue medical grade mask, my sister in law is a dentist and was able to provide us them.

op.
I really hope your Dh doesn't react badly though towards you it can come from anywhere.

I'm sorry you feel so worried. It must be awful. You've had a hard time, mourning a friend and learning about a friends child's diagnosis. You've surely got enough feelings of guilt and worry so I just wanted to say I hope the test is negative and you can relax.

And for your dear friend too how awful for them

@Coffeeandcocopops the NHS website actually states to only isolate if you have symptoms of covid, which I did not. It even has a chart of symptoms stating the difference between a common cold and coronavirus. A blocked nose is not a symptom of covid 19. I also have allergies which result in a blocked or runny nose very often.

I only developed a cough at around 11pm last night and booked a test straight away.

@lovelemoncurd

The results come back in 24 hrs.

Not always! Ours were sent off Friday afternoon and we got the results Monday morning.

@Ohdoleavemealone I hope that’s because it was a weekend! I’m praying mine come back quickly

If you're ill you're ill - tough if other people don't like it, it isn't your fault.
Your DP will need to make other arrangements to see his kids.

The irony that you started a thread a few weeks ago about being angry at your SC’s mother for adhering to fuidance

What’s worse is we’ve just found out she’s sent SD into school today and when DP said she should be isolating she said “it’s only a bloody cold”... but it was serious enough for her to get SD tested?

And

** I’m not sure what my AIBU is to be honest... but any advice on how to handle a high conflict ex who is flouting safety rules?
I’m tempted to report her as she’s putting so many others at risk.**