We’re having a right hard time of it all due to DSS’s mum. Quite frankly she’s being nightmare. Apologies for the long rant, I just need to offload.
Due to circumstances DSD is isolating with us at his dads. In summary, DSS received a letter from school saying he had been in close contact with a positive person whilst he was with us for the weekend. Mum was adamant that DSS didn’t need to isolate even after we tried to explain that he needed to isolate for 10 days. We pointed her to the government guidelines and said we would seek legal advice to see what the best situation is and get back to her but it wasn’t up for discussion with her, due to some advice and deliberation what was best for DSS, Dp decided to keep his son here for the remainder of the isolation (mum wanted to us to return him after 3 days and not isolate him regardless of the letter to do so, there is also a medically vulnerable child involved at mums house, we asked DSS where he wanted to isolate etc and he was happy to stay for the remainder of the week etc etc). So we did this much to his mums dislike - she is a very controlling person so the relationship between my DP and her has been stressful, particularly regarding communication. We try our best to keep the peace, we live in a very drama free household as I prefer to keep peace and my life and my relationships this way, but this is the only person in our lives who is adamant to keep some sort of wreckage within our lives.
DSS has been happy and brilliant this week, apart from having some mild tummy upset between him and myself.
We have offered contact every day with the mum as per child’s wishes and the court guidelines. Mum has refused to message back when we have asked if she’d like a call, and has ignored multiple evening phone calls all week. Hurtful and a horrible thing to do, but DSS has completely shrugged it off. He has not asked to contact his mum since we first had him on Friday, but we have encouraged him to do so.
DP has been doing school work this week online as DS has been homeschooling. Again, he’s been absolutely great and got on with school work well And enjoyed himself, it’s been a nice opportunity for them to bond over schooling (mum has often been controlling with school too, not allowing him to attend parents evening or school plays and telling his son not to look or acknowledge his dad when he has attended such events - just for example). On Wednesday we noticed that all his school work was disappearing off the school App which we was uploading, and all the new stuff that his teachers were sending through were being marked down as completed, his name had been changed to one that wasn’t his surname (she refuses to call him by his dads name - she scribbles it off his school bag and school work frequently). Basically, his mum has been checking the school app and deleting every bit of work that DSS has spent so much time on this week so it doesn’t reach the school, I’m assuming that it’s because she wants to do it with her and not dad.
My partner was furious and called the school to explain the situation and they have resolved it by going through email.
So not only has she refused to talk to her son she has been blocking his schoolwork And school communication from her child to her teacher and to the school simply because dad is doing this work with with him.
Yesterday (Thursday) was a different story. We finally heard back off her. My partner had to go back in to work after having some time off with DDS to tie things up before he left For Christmas. I am working from home, so was happy to have him here and finish school off with him and keep him entertained for the day. Mum messaged finally asking to speak to her son NOW and that she wanted him returned home. My partner gently reminded that he will be dropped off Monday first thing when isolation ends, told her that DSS was fine and happy but that he was unavailable to talk at the minute but could call later. She was having none of it, messaging all day and calling threats. Partner messaged again that his son wasn’t available to talk (partner was not home of course at the time of message) and that he will get his son to call her at 5pm and if she is not available to take the call, he will make sure his phone is on so she can call back at a time that suits afterwards. Then she said she rang the police and reported him for refusing to let her speak to his son.
The harassment continued for the rest of the day. My partner had a really bad working day yesterday, his work has lapsed due to having a few days off to stay at home with DSS and was close to tears himself, I don’t think her messages and threats were helping. Then his car broke down on the way home 
He asked at 5pm if she would like a call - and I offered to let his son call her off my phone as he couldn’t get home and had to wait for recovery. She ignored the message About the call but was still harassing him with hurtful texts.
She finally tried ringing to speak to DSS between 7-9pm when his son was in bed. He was still waiting for recovery and trying to figure out what wrong with his car, had a few visits off the police asking if he was okay etc etc at this time so he ignored the calls. He messaged later explaining his son was in bed now and he had offered multiple times this evening for a chance for her to speak to him, and again all this week he’s been trying to get in contact with her. He also told her at the minute he was dealing with an emergency and not to message anymore. She got been angrier then, and went as far as reporting MY own child to the police for breaking covid policy because she was at her dads house (my DD does not have to isolate so we have done nothing wrong there and I know it’s a pointless threat). She also said that he doesn’t get to choose the time of the call, it’s her who gets to choose and she wanted to speak to him now. It’s been constant games with her not answering her sons calls just because she didn’t make the decision to call, childish games when we have offered to try and make this amicable and arrange a mutual call between them. The courts are going to be pissed at this and it makes my partner look bad that he can’t work this out between them.
He offered a phone call this morning but it was her partner who finally answered the phone. A very painful ten minute phone call of mainly her boyfriend speaking to DSS and his mum only saying a few words. Absolutely nothing asking how he is etc etc. His son told them about the things the elf has been up to, and about his advent calendar and all she said was “well our elf has been doing this” “well at our house you have loads of chocolate” etc etc like it was some competition.
My heart breaks for his son. He is such a sweet little boy and we feel that we try so hard to give a stable home for him and encourage his happiness, my partner bites his lip with every hurtful action or communication between himself and DSS mum but she used his son as a weapon and it’s evident. I know DSS is very resilient to it all and is happy - apart from the not answering the phone he has been pretty oblivious to her anger this week. I feel so sad for him my heart weeps and as a mother of my own child who has a split Family I can’t understand why she behaves that way.
We are due in court for her many breaches of the CAO this year and parental alienation which has affected his sons welfare In a couple of weeks so I know this is only going to support our case, but I don’t think any amount of court is going to make her change and it’s a s**t situation to be in. I have a feeling now that she will not let DSS come now on Christmas Day even though it’s court ordered which will be devastating. I feel like she won’t stop with her hurt, once we have gotten over one thing she tries with another. I’ve had issues with her stalking me in the past too which has stopped now as it was reported as she started turning up when I was dropping my child off at school in the mornings, but she still manages to cause trouble.
I don’t know why I’ve posted really I think I just need some kind words and a reminder to keep my head up today.