I can sleep because she's a great step mother

[WhyNotMeThough]

I see lots of threads about step mothers and by step mothers, because being a step mum is hard.
So I just wanted to say how grateful I am for my children's step mum.

I consider myself a good ex-wife 😆. I just live my life. My kids stepmother came into their lives when they were quite young. She moved in with their dad, and not once did they ever feel a bother to her. She looked after them as though they were her own whenever they were at their dads. They felt safe, loved, warm, happy. She gave them everything they needed.
Now they are adults and she has made her place in their lives.

I'm grateful to her.

Agree with you OP
First step mum did not need me to do anything to sabotage her relationship with DCs and then EX, she did it all by her vile self. ( Anne Gilbert there are some fecking awful step mums out there)

Second step Mum absolutely fab - no issues, good comms between her and the DCS and me.

To the bitter post about why can't you trust their father to look after them. My Ex ballsed up badly fist time, did not look after ot defend his DCs against emotional abuse amongst many thing. She hated me but took it out on the DCS. So second step mum was very wary - waited for DCs to tell me the lay of the land and then she phoned me to ask me for a coffee - to chat re DCS so we had the same rules in both houses -re food, bed time, homework etc.

Am so grateful for her being in their Dads life and ensuring they experience the best of him but not the shit

@KumquatSalad - my cousin's husband still has to hide the fact that he visits his widowed sm from his dm! His dm is in her 80's, divorced from his dad for over 40 years AND remarried 30 years ago! She still refers to his sm as 'That Woman'!

Thank you for this thread and the positive posts on it. People tend to start threads because they are experiencing problems and it’s lovely to have a reminder that a step parent’s presence in a child’s life can actually be a positive thing all round.

Thank you so much for posting.
It's actually made me quite sad because I know I'll never have that. She's burnt the homework I did with DSS6 in front of him, she's said they can't come in my car (police officer with advanced driving ticket), she's taken a toy me and DSS had a 'voice' for and took on adventures and said the dog ate it, she's told them I'll never be stepmum, even now we're married, I could go on.
I don't want to be their mum. I care about them a lot. The things I could say about her to them and I never ever have, I have holes in my tongue through the years of biting it.
I'm pregnant with our first now and lo and behold it's kicking off again. She has ruined mine and, to an extent, her own kids lives.
I just wish I had you instead.
Thank you.

What a lovely positive thread, thank you.
I have a pretty close relationship with my DSCs and would like to think they see me as a person in their life they can trust and rely on.

That's lovely OP.

It's fantastic that your children have a great stepmum, and a mum who is supportive of that relationship.

I'm not a stepmum, but I do have a lovely mum and stepmum myself I can't tell you how helpful it was to have a mum who was happy for me to develop a positive relationship with my dad's partner. I was lucky and your children are lucky too

What a lovely post.

I am grateful for my DDs step mum too. I’ve known her since school and always liked her as a person, my daughter loves her and they have a stable home to provide for my DD. Not sure if she likes me tbh she has always been a little frosty for some reason but that’s fine and doesn’t change the way I feel about her.

She doesn’t get involved in any difficult business that crops up between me and my DDs dad and I couldn’t ask for me tbh. My DD is very lucky.

Im fine with my ds1s stepmum too. Shes nice enough, shes always treated ds well. I dont even care that she was the OW. Shes nice to ds and she has never given me any grief.

I’m a SM with an ex-wife like you makes life so much more pleasant for everyone and my DSD loves her blended family. Wish more families could be that way.