There is so much back story.
This thread gives a sense of the issues if you want more background www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/3549889-There-goes-our-easter-holiday.
Yesterday accusations were made against my children. My biggest fear came true. I have spent over 3 years of my relationship terrified of this moment. I knew that mum was capable, but hoped that time would help allay whatever was going on in her head.
Now I'm having to consider if I can continue in my relationship because I don't think my children can have any more contact with partners child.
My partner had a phone call Tuesday from social care. Mother made an allegation against one of my children, of which I'm sure you can guess the nature. Luckily for me and my partner, I have never allowed the children to be alone together. They are always supervised when here (we still don't permanently live together - he maintains a separate property) because I needed to protect my children. We both know the allegation to be untrue because the children are not left alone (which is exhausting, but I felt necessary until the mother was more reasonable - which I had hoped time would bring).
I had a social worker visit yesterday, who concluded that she had no concerns that anything had happened. She spoke to the children. She was very nice and reassuring. All well on my front. Her investigation will be completed within 3 weeks, other than a safety talk to my children so they can tick a box there is no further follow up. Report will state children are safeguarded by each parent, no concerns.
Child has been medically examined. No concerns there either.
The child is 3 (almost 4). They have repeated an allegation to the social worker - but we don't have the full story still. Social care is in two authorities. My authority told me one version, the childs authority told another version. Childs authority was asked today to confirm allegation, but they said they weren't sure yet and they were still trying to find out what it was from the child 
.
Partner was told he can still maintain his contact, but until my authority send their report, child should not come here. Fine by us both. Social worker reports back to mum, no concerns, dad to maintain contact in his property until report is through.
Of course, mum refused. Said no contact at all. Made further allegation that child is now saying daddy tells her not to tell mummy things (again, untrue).
It is exhausting. This mother will not rest until she has what she wants. She plays a long game. She bides her time. This is a child who is not quite 4. This will be the 4th application to court (2nd enforcement, 2 previous child arrangement applications). Me and my children are now being made in to her collateral damage.
I can not tell you how angry I am that she stooped this low. I knew it was possible, but did not believe she would go this far to try and stop contact.
If this had not affected my children, I would be able to tolerate the situation. But now my children have been targeted, I don't think our relationship is tenable. I can step back, we have our own property. The children can be kept separate. But, I just don't think that is a life I want to lead. It is incredibly painful to find myself here. I know couples do do this when children are involved. But for us, it doesn't feel right.
I can't see a way through this. My children will suffer both ways. Obviously they could suffer more if further accusations were made. But should we go our separate ways, my children will have the only male role model in their lives taken away. He enriches their lives incredibly. He has been there for them for 3 years. They are only 7 and 5. They don't remember life before him. He has enabled them to take part in extra curricular activities (I couldn't do it without his support), he has enabled me to change my job to be there for them more by providing childcare at unsocial hours, he has taught them through lockdown and beyond (he is a primary teacher). He is a father figure to them when their own father did not want to be. Even my oldest child (18) has had his life improved by my partner being present and thinks highly of him, despite the teenage years being one of the most difficult times to consider blending a family. Had he not reacted well to him, then we wouldn't be here over 3 years later as again, my children are my priority.
I feel sick. I will always put my children first. But this feels so incredibly wrong. All my children are going to suffer either way now, to varying degrees.
I guess I don't really need advice. Just understanding and a little moral support. I'm just so bloody angry.