But of backstory
Custody split 45/55, ex having the 55%. The school week is split evenly between both parents, the ex has more weekend time. DP has been trying to ask for more weekend time for over 2 years now, and it’s starting to get nasty. We (DP and I) live a 5 minute walk from SD school.
As Sd gets older (7 nearly 8), it’s becoming more obvious that she needs more quality leisure time with her dad. I actively encourage this. It’s just very difficult with the routine we have to make this happen as we have her on school day’s predominately.
He has asked his ex if they could keep their current weekday arrangement, so he has every Monday and Tuesday and drops off on weds at school, and she has every Wednesday and Thursday and drops Friday at school. He then asked if they could alternate weekends from Friday after school to Monday morning. The reason he wants to keep the weekdays as they are is because changing them will mean more breakfast and after school club when with DM due to her work hours, which SD already doesn’t enjoy.
This is no exaggeration, the resistance we’ve had from the ex has been quite shocking. She doesn’t want to have SD on the Sunday nights as that is when she has time with her boyfriend (said 3 weeks ago when she wasn’t living with him), and she likes to take SD to her friends (ex’s friend) for sleepovers and won’t accept that being able to do that eow is enough. These sleepovers were part of the original problem as when DP got sd on Sunday’s, she was absolutely knackered. That’s another story.
3 weeks ago, she also hinted that she didn’t know what she was doing about living arrangements which came as a surprise as she only moved house in August last year.
DP text her a couple of days later to query what she meant and she reassured him that she wasn’t going to move any time soon. Part of him didn’t believe her, but left it at that. The following week she admitted that she might move in with her boyfriend (who lives 20 miles away), but didn’t know when but reassured DP that she would keep SD in the same school. He has asked her a couple of times since “any news on the move” to which she’s replied “she doesn’t know”
Anyway, DP has continued to negotiate a change in routine, and the ex is becoming more and more difficult, despite admitting that it would make more sense when she’s moved, but refuses to commit to anything or even talk about it now. She’s becoming quite hostile.
DP is due to pick SD up on Sunday at 5 and the agreement is from ex house. Yesterday she demanded DP pick SD up from her boyfriends house 20 miles away, to which DP said he couldn’t due to plans, but can meet her somewhere instead. Ex kicked off saying our agreement is you pick up from where we live and we live here now. Naturally, DP reminded her that he has not been told a date when moving etc, and feels totally lied to.
I think this will end up going down the legal route, but where does he stand with this?. If he doesn’t drive the 40 mile round trip to get SD on Sunday, is it him who will loom bad?
We genuinely do have plans and ex lived 5 mins up the road before