Maybe stepparenting is a gift?

[C1239]

New Year... want to try and generally have a more positive attitude.. two stepchidren under 10 (not married to my partner but live together and been together over 5 years) , very lucky to generally get on great with the children who we have with us regularly and a civil relationship with their Mum.

Has anyone ever thought before that actually stepparenting could be seen as a gift?! To feel lucky to have a lovely partner and be able to help bring up these children whilst also having time for one to one time with your partner to keep the relationship strong?

There always seems to be negatively about stepparenting, it would just be nice to hear more people see the positives in it?!

😂😂😂😂
Nope

Sorry, your post is lovely. I’m just joking

There are some positives yes. I knew my dh would be the most incredible father as id seen him with his dc.

Well my stepmum didn't think it was a gift, more like a curse.

You only hear so much negativity because this is a site where people come for advice. So it's unlikely to be needed if everything is positive. There are plenty of families who are perfectly well blended and happy.

My stepchildren are now 30 and 31. I can't imagine my life without them. They were very accepting of me - and though there have been the sorts of ups and downs that there always are when you are involved with young people, I feel enriched by having them around. They have been lovely loving siblings to my daughter.

Nope nope nope

What @tyersal said. Other people's kids can be bloody difficult to live with. Sorry.

There are stories from step parents who have a lovely relationship with their step kids but that's not my experience. I've found it an incredibly hard and lonely time. I'm hoping as they get older that it will become easier. I love my husband but if I had my time again I'd avoid a man with kids.

No, not all all. It’s an absolute nightmare (all caused by a bitter vitriolic EW who can’t move on).

Lovely post thought..... and I can only wish.

DSD is lovely, my daughters adore her and so do I. However she’s only 3 so that could change...

Her mother is an arsehole (DP is currently going through court, will likely end up with residency according to the latest CAFCASS report - we don’t live together) and handing her back to someone who is so neglectful is bloody horrible.

@NorthernSpirit we’ve got one of those, she’s fucking awful. I just can’t imagine being like her, being so invested in my ExHs life Move. The. Fuck. On.

I am so lucky to have my DSDs in my life. They bring so much and make my family feel complete. Of course we have had tough times but the good far outweighs the bad. So yes, for me they have been a gift

@HigherFurtherFasterBaby - yep, same here. My OH has been divorced over 8 years and the bat shit crazy bar just gets higher and higher.

I never act thought these bat shit crazy women existed! So sad that 8 years down the line she can’t get some self respect & move on.

Latest shit..... I’m referred to as HER by the woman and the children have to call me the same. I actually feel sorry for the woman!

Get a life and move on saddo.

Until a few years ago I sung my stepmothers praises. Unfortunately a few things came to light. 1) my Dad used to give each child, including his stepchildren $150 each for birthdays and Christmases. Two Christmases ago following an announcement from Dad that they were no longer going to gift to adults any longer, it was discovered that while Dad thought DH and I were being rude in not thanking him, I’d thought it had petered out nearly 20 years ago. The whereabouts of nearly $11,000 my Stepmum has filtered off is being quietly ignored.
2) Dad had a heart operation, and his kids couldn’t get an update from the hospital [as spouse takes precedence], but we couldn’t get an update from her either as her phone was busy - for almost 8hrs. Apparently she was talking to her sisters due to stress. We were then informed we could’ve checked Facebook. We then discovered we’d all been placed on the ‘Restricted’ list, so couldnt actually see the status updates on Dads operation anyway.
3) Stepbrother got married a few months after us. Got given 50k as wedding gift. Ours was held up as Dads investments was being matured. Apparently we were perceived as being able to wait even though both stepbrother and his wife earn 3x what we do. Supix weeks after wedding, his wife left him for boss. Three months later he got fired from his job as he failed a drug test. He can’t afford rehab as the wedding gift was spent on drugs. We’re still waiting for the wedding gift as Dads now paying for rehab for the third time. It’s supposed to be a secret - the official line the stepmum is saying is “He’s taking the time to discover himself” No one is supposed to know about the drugs, but we know anyway.

My Mum was one of those ex wives so I’m used to the type, unfortunately. She happily remarried before my Dad but nah, still up in his grill and withholding contact constantly

My ‘stepson’ (we don’t live together) is brilliant and has enriched my life, my ‘stepdaughter’ has been a massive challenge even though we get on fine. It’s tough to work out. Not easy at all. So yes, a gift in a sense that they test our relationships and our potential for humility and acceptance! Those with bona fide bat-shit exes have it even tougher still... My DP is a great example of a human to my dc, and he has a good, easy, natural relationship with them. I am eternally grateful for that. It’s amazing.

I think I have been very lucky overall. I've 2 DSC and they're pretty great. No trouble really as kids, lovely with DD and have grown into nice adults who are a pleasure to be around.
DH's ex is a nice, reasonable person and we all get on together. DH still drops in to see his ex MIL occasionally too.
It wasn't always easy, money could be tight and I was sometimes resentful but we're nudging 20 years down this road now.

My DSD is a joy and is growing into really lovely woman. I'm very lucky to have her in my life.

Her mum has been a pain in the past though even though I met DH long after they split.

Being a step parent has certainly changed my life for the better. Before I met my boyfriend who has two kids under 8, I was a bit of a plonky going out a lot and generally a little lost in life. 2.5 years on and I've got an amazing bond with his kids, expecting my first baby in a few months and couldn't think of better siblings for her. These little amazing people come into your life and give it an entire new meaning. It can be hard, I do think being a step parent at times can be a thankless job, but it's 100% rewarding, especially when they come for cuddles and tell you how much they love you. Melts my heart everytime.

I have the best step kids (3 girls) ever, I adore them. It has actually been easy, enjoyable and fun - even the teenage years. To be fair, you couldn’t not love them, they make life better just being with them. All just left (all grown up with babies and houses), can’t imagine life without them. On days like this I love sitting back and just watching them (and our son), how they all snuggle in (he’s a teenager), good tempered arguing and messing.

It’s been a gift to me - wouldn’t change a thing

Every child is a gift.

Every child is a gift
🤣🤣🤣🤣

So are you and your posts @candyfloss99

I don’t have a step-child but I think my DD’s step-mother is a gift. She’s enriched DD’s life in many ways, for which I’m very grateful.