NC here. My partner has 3 stepkids (late teens/early 20s), we've been together 4 years, his divorce from their mother was over a decade before I met him. They have shared custody.
The SKs have treated me from contempt from day 1. I've tried everything, my partner is a Disney dad afraid to upset them, they get away with murder constantly and this causes great problems between us. The SKs of course revel in this. My post is not really about all that, I've been round and round in circles about it all, and have come to accept two of them hate me, I now can't bear them any more and that's the way it'll probably always be.
This Christmas the SKs have messed everyone around, including their mother and her husband and wider family, who they have upset. They've caused mayhem with their ill-thought-through plans, imposing themselves on relatives who weren't expecting them, not telling their own family what they were up to etc. It's all fallen apart, and now both sets of parents are trying to pick up the pieces of their mess and arrange a happy christmas.
The thought of Christmas with them fills me with dread, but my partner is pressuring me to suffer their rudeness, smile and pretend we're all having a good time, and maybe we all go off together somewhere for a few days. They try to treat me like a cleaner then throw tantrums when I refuse, speak to me as if I am dirt, and are full of nastiness.
All that matters to me now is the relationship I have with my partner. How can I not create even further upset between him and me and make sure I do not have to spend time being mistreated by his SKs?
I'd be interested to hear how some of you in similar circumstances navigate this minefield successfully.