I find my SILs behaviour completely reasonable, but how common is it?

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

My SIL is still fairly close to my DHs exW. As such she's never really made an effort to get to know me (she's not that close to my DH anyways) however whenever we bump into each other she's always polite. We've invited her for dinner a couple of times but has always cancelled at the very last minute.
I think whenever you're very close to the former in-laws it's absolutely normal to remain that way, but wonder if it changes over time.

I just feel a bit bummed our DS will barely know his auntie (I blame the hormones too!)

You’re not really asking if this is common, and you don’t think it’s reasonable. You’re actually suggesting it’s unreasonable. Which is as valid a viewpoint as any other.

It also sounds like you’re quite hurt.

Anyway, I’m sure your DSCs’ mum will make herself available to have her OWN DC when you go into labour. If not your exh (!) has expressed himself willing (nice man), so there’s really nothing to worry about.

I would suspect there maybe some back ground you are unaware of. Maybe SIL suspects you of being the OH or can’t forgive your DH for walking out/sonething he did which lead to his exW leaving? There are plenty of situations under which I could see my SIL behaving this way if DH and I divorced and she is very close to DH. Alternatively it may just be the case that she was never that close to him but got on well with exW.

It’s a shame either way but I wouldn’t dwell on it.

My exH did a 180 when we divorced and became a much better man.

My DH has always said he's never been really close to her but she really liked his exW. Probably my other SIL knows more and would be willing to tell me but I believe it's none of my business. Knowing that I'm not the only one makes me feel a lot better!

It's a bit of a shame that she'll miss out on her nephew

It's quite obvious she's not bothered about this and doesn't see herself as missing out.

If you're not close to your brother...you're unlikely to be close to his child, with his second wife who you're also not close to.

I can somewhat relate..as I am close to my siblings and they're close to my DC. DHs siblings are not as close as mine, they're improving more recently, but they'll never have the close bond with my DC that my siblings do.

I don't think they see themselves as missing out st all. My DH isn't close to his nieces and nephews and it doesn't bother him one bit...if anything...he's closer to mine and sees them more often.

Families are so different and while I think being as close as mine is normal... some ppl think it's too close.

This is @Niteandfog which explains absolutely everything. You helped spilt up her DN's family. Of course she wants nothing to do with you, you absolute fool.

Oh that explains it.

Yes, I doubt there's even been a more entitled poster on MN. Being surprised that her boyfriends sister hasn't offered to babysit totally sums her up.

@Rainbowhairdontcare

If you were the OW, it's no suprise then. Surely you must understand that?

It is and it isn't. She's currently with her OM who she openly had an affair with. Her daughters live with both of them part time. It seems a bit double standards to me.

Like I've mentioned she's kind to me and has never done anything beyond being nice to me, so I think it had more to do with not being close to her brother, rather than my personal history with her brother.

@readitandwept Are you certain this is @Niteandfog if so, just eww. No words for the brass neck of this person and ignorance to her own vile behaviour.

Are you Niteandfog OP? @Rainbowhairdontcare

It's definitely her. Read her last post.

@readitandwept Ugh, her threads are just horrendous. Such an arrogant and ignorant person. I don't often see such selfish people post so confidently on MN, this woman is certainly something else.

Interesting how she has not told the entire truth here if she is Niteandfog.

To my defense I can only say people change. That was two years ago. We've been living all together for one. How we got together was not ideal. What matters is how we move forward.

In my (50 year plus) experience people don't change.

She probably doesn’t want to babysit and she definitely won’t feel she’s “missing out”.

How convenient that you've changed now. After having the affair and helping destroy the marriage and family of another woman.

You've not changed at all. You're still the same dishonest, arrogant, self absorbed person you were two years ago, as this thread illustrates perfectly.

🤦🏻‍♀️ Such an obvious writing and self obsessed style as wel!

How we got together was not ideal. What matters is how we move forward

To you maybe...but you can't change how other people feel.

Lol my brothers girlfriend is like you.

I fucking hate the twat. Love his ex and most people describe his ex as my best friend. Better go and ring her actually she found me this amazing nail bar as she knows I'm so fussy and they need infills.

Wow that was uncalled for! Good for you and the nail bar. On a side note there's another thread saying they're used for money laundering and human trafficking. Something I had no idea about.