DP and I have been together 4 years. He has 2 adults daughters - 37 and 34 (he's 60s I'm 40s). The oldest has refused to ever meet me or let me meet her child. She was 30 when her parents split, we got together a couple of years later. She says she'd never forgive him for "walking out on us" (she didn't live at home then and already had her child). At Christmas he tried again to ask her to let me meet them and she stopped speaking to him. She let him visit DGC once a week or so but only to take her out, he wasn't allowed in the house. Complication - she has refused her xP access to the child all her life. The ex is a psycho fixated now on DP and has made threats against him (they've never met, DP has never done anything to him).
DP proposed last week and he tried all week to arrange to meet the child so he could tell DD in person that we're getting married but she kept saying it didn't suit.
In the meantime he told his older daughter. She has always been accepting of us and her and I occasionally text each other and she has been friendly. He rang her to tell her and she was not happy which surprised and disappointed him. She's pregnant and rings him every day with updates but this stopped. She's avoided him since then except to say her blood pressure is high.
Tonight DP tried again to meet DGC and tell DD but she said no. After a couple of texts she said it was despicable that he told other DD on "a cowardly phone call" and "made her ill" (this is rich because she doesn't speak to her sister and has also banned her from contact with her child at times and in general has no interest in her wellbeing), that she had no interest in anything he does or has to say, and not to contact her again as she "no longer has a father".
Im totally gutted for him. He's been nothing but supportive over the years to both of them. She has cut him off and may stop him seeing his DGC who he loves. I'm hurt that I'll never meet her but nothing I can do about that. I'm angry that he's put up with a lot of stuff because of her I don't even want to go into, the most recent being this stuff with her ex that has nothing to do with him and she's not even speaking to him!
I'm just venting. I wish the two of them would just grow up. Yes it's sad when families split up - mine did and both parents had new relationships and I was just a teenager and dealt with it - but to essentially wish your father dead just because he has a relationship with someone else I think is horrible especially when some people would love to have their fathers still around. I hope the younger one comes around. She was maybe fine when I was the girlfriend but not the wife. But she's also engaged to someone with the same age gap and adult kids of his own so how can she not understand?? I get it on one level but on another...I really just don't.