So you don’t want to see your DD for the entirety of the summer holidays but still expect full maintenance as well as help with uniform?

[nonnatushouse]

DSD’s DM told us last Friday that DSD was ours for the entirety of the six weeks holiday. She’s resident parent and we have DSD every weekend and most of the school holidays but never for the absolute entirety.

We’d initially agreed that we’d have DSD for the first two weeks then back to her mums for two weeks then back to us for the last two weeks.

DSD’s DM gets £350 per month in maintenance (she’d get much less if this was arranged through the CSA) OH has rung her tonight to suggest that for the six week period, he pays DSD’s DM £200 plus £50 to help cover uniform etc. She’s not happy with this. She’s still expecting £575 for the 6 week period inc money for DSD’s uniform. I think this is ludicrous, he’s been fair offering her a lesser amount considering we’ll be having DSD for over 6 weeks, we want to be able to do nice things with her over the holidays too but won’t be able to afford to! Not to mention the added childcare costs and clubs etc as we both work.

So sad that the poor little girl has a mum who is so disinterested in her

I’m really puzzled by this, why would a mother not want to spend any of a summer holiday with her daughter? What job does the mother do that would stop her from spending any time with her daughter? OP I’m totally with you being hacked off with your DH at paying the full maintenance. You are doing a great job.

Poor little girl

@Charliecatpaws I don’t get it either

It’s not like we’ve been able to do much with them really as we haven’t been able to afford it. DD is going back to school in her old uniform and shoes (albeit temporarily) because we can’t afford to buy her all new at the moment (which she needs - this will be next months expense).

OH can’t go back to work for at least another month to allow time for his arm to heal, he has a very physical job and can’t/isn’t insured to work with a broken limb and of course I’ve had to take time off as couldn’t afford to go to work with two children in childcare!!

Gosh I’m pissed off at her.

You sound like an amazing step mum.and dsd ,would be better off with you full time.id go through the cm and just give her mum the minimum amount by law you have to.then have dsd at yours as much as possible

@Slimmingsnake thank you, I try my best. She would but whether we’d ever get residency of her I just don’t know.

I was so upset last night, trying DD’s uniform on her from last year praying that she hasn’t grown too much and it doesn’t fit I’m actually considering putting her uniform on my credit card. School jumpers cost £15, they have to have polo shirts with the school logo embroidered on which are £8.99 each. Luckily her school shoes still fit for now.

I know I’m being stupid as it’s all temporary but I feel so shit for DD. The resident child is often looked upon as being a spoilt, entitled brat who gets the best of both worlds but that isn’t the case here. Not that materialistic things matter so much but everything she has is second hand. I was looking forward to being able to afford to buy her a brand new uniform without worrying where the money was going to come from. I hate the demonisation of the resident child. It’s so tough on everyone!

just give her mum the minimum amount by law you have to.then have dsd at yours as much as possible

Yes to this. Then you’d be able to afford uniform etc and not be put in this position.