Disappointed with life as a stepmother

[Addy2018]

When I met my husband I had no idea what being with a man who had kids was like. I had been in a long term relationship prior to this with a man who did not have children and who was always available to me. I was heartbroken when that relationship ended. I took time to myself and then met my husband two years later. Initially he was a fun loving guy. He spoke about his two kids who are now DSS 10, DSD 8 ( this was 4 years ago). When I met his children everything was great. Although he has an awful relationship with their mother. At first I was a neutral party and then a few months into dating I got pregnant with my first baby. I felt such excitement but at the same time I felt such disappointment knowing that it was not his first or even second time. His ex wife became very jealous and would constantly try to cause grief in our life. My preganany became very stressful. When our daughter was born we were thrilled. We took her home from the hospital and things were great with the three of us. DH shares 50/50 custody so within a few days his kids were at our house. Loud, disrespectful, making messes and expecting everything to be cleaned up for them. Slamming doors. Two weeks later their mother dropped them off with pinkeye without a word.
I have tried with both of them. I’ve tried to help with homework, be there for sports, be kind and I always make dinner and pack lunches but with the lack of appreciation I am now completely discouraged. His kids now love our daughter. My problem is with him too. He does not discipline them. He says one thing and does another. I am just so disappointed in this dynamic. Basically we didn’t plan to be a family. I didn’t know what I was getting in to. I got pregnant while on birth control and I just feel so sad that this is how I have to raise my daughter. I am tired of dealing with the drama his ex tries to stir up. I’m exhausted and my stomach turns when his children come here. I used to Have a great career and now am a SAHM until she goes to preschool. The thing that has really pushed me now is I am in my thirties and want to eventually have another baby to give my daughter a full blooded sibling. DH says one day he wants to, the next he doesn’t. I am at the point where I don’t even want one with him. So now I am most likely going to suck it up. Not have another baby. Stay here because I don’t want to uproot my daughter and share custody.
If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it.

[Adviceplease360]

A contraception fail?
Don't have sex if the idea of having a child is something you can't cope with- that applies to both of you.
Your step kids know you dislike them, that's why 'taking care' of them doesn't make them grateful, they can sense how much you resent them.
Leaving this relationship and having children with another man will further complicate your lives as lapsed humanist has explained, your husband will go for shared custody as he clearly isn't one to abandon his kids. You should be glad he is committed. As for banging doors and disrespectful kids, they are 14 and 12? A teen and preteen- consider it an learning curve for when your own is older.
Oh and grow up.

[ElChan03]

That's the most absurd thing I've ever read in my life Adviceplease360.
I guess the whole human population should just stop having sex then if contraception isn't enough?
I think the OP has valid feelings here and being told to grow up doesn't help her to manage them.
Step children are hard work, you have to form a bond with them and treat them with the love you would have for your own child whilst maintaining a complete distance from any form of parenting. It is hard to have a balanced home life is there are children in your home you cannot lay down boundaries for as they do not apply to them etc.
Tackle your dh OP... he will be the root cause and solution in this.