Request from mother - unreasonable or not?

[ClaryFray]

I need some advice. My relationship with the mother of DP's children has been odd. We work together, so there is no chance to avoid her.

She was convinced for a time I was OW, which I wasn't. She has asked that before I meet the kids, two things happen.

1. I unblock her from Facebook. I blocked her because of all the drama and stalking abuse. And when I added DP's sister in law and brother, she messaged in 10 minutes to say to DP about it.

1. We all meet all three of us. Her, DP and I to discuss way forward with the meeting and boys and to clear the air.

This women has been the bane of my life for a few months, she has stalked my house and Facebook. Called me all manor of names, and brought my family into this.

Is this being rational on my part. Am I allowed to keep her at arms length, or am I gonna need to suck it up and do what's best for the kids.

Help?

Don't be ridiculous! I'm not the only poster believing she might have been involved with her DP when he was still with his ex.

It's my opinion rightly or not. Having an opinion doesn't make you demented or if it does we're all afflicted with It!

I'm with swingofthings on how this reads. His marriage breaks down, then her marriage breaks down, and now they're playing happy families together all within a couple of months. So yeah, I'm also of the opinion there's more to this than the OP is letting on.

Either way, ex asking for access to fb is an unreasonable request. The meeting however isn't.

I wasn't married. I had a relationship with a man that lasted two years, we drifted apart.

I think swingofthings and frisson are just angry because their husbands left them for much younger women.

See.... Not nice when people just make up shit about you. Maybe you both should try taking people at face value?

I am a little confused- you were her work colleague- and went out socially with her and your partner a few times whilst you were both with other people- how did you then end up with his number and texting him? If your only contact was because of her, I can see how she feels that something was happening behind her back, although the requests she’s making still seem OTT. And ultimately she can’t dictate where the children spend time if they are having access with their dad.

Miss mouse** I'm not sure what point you are trying to make, but I feel this is your issue rather than mine. I can accept that we have differing opinions on what the OP is saying. You don't seem to like that mine is different to yours.

Maybe you both should try taking people at face value? I take everyone with a pinch of salt. Like they say there's always 3 sides to every story.

Bold fail. Oh well.

Well do you actually want to meet the kids? It sounds like you haven't been with your boyfriend and he sounds like a bit of a distraction go for introducing his children so soon. You may end up splitting up causing the children even more unhappiness.

it sounds all quite new. Id back off. She is probably feeling constantly humiliated to be still working with you. Just take it slower at closer to her pace (within reason) before meeting the kids. Youll have a much easier stepparenting relationship if you try and get on with his ex at least civilly

@SD1978

I was never friends with her. I was friends with him, knew her because of him. Not sure where you got that from tbh.

Thanks for those who have been helpful. I have asked that this thread be removed.

See.... Not nice when people just make up shit about you. Maybe you both should try taking people at face value?
Nothing has been made up, it's been deducted from what I have taken from face value, ie. that somehow, OP got to build a friendship with a colleague's husband and hold and behold, they end up a couple some months later. That is the factual thing that OP has written.

She is defending that nothing happened whilst he was still with his ex. That might very well be the case, but from my perspective, it doesn't change much because if a colleague of mine had gone through a separation that left her very upset, the last thing I would think of doing is getting close to him, deciding that the road was now clear for me to have him for myself.