I have 2 stepsons, 7 and 9. The oldest has just recently been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum, alongside being Adhd and Spd (which we found out sunday- he's got medication to help him but this mum refuses to let him take it)
We have them every other weekend Friday to Sunday. This past weekend has been horrendous ending with their mum screaming at me and TH for 90 mins when we dropped them home.
Me and DH have been together for 5.5 years,married for 3 months and I'm currently pregnant with our first together (after 3.5 years of fertility struggles)
Saturday, the oldest poked me in the breast in the middle of a packed pub (we were collecting after They had a family party-mums side- to go to) Being pregnant my breasts are extremely painful. So it not only shocked me that he did that but that it really hurt.
I told him it was naughty and he shouldn't be poking my breast.
According to his mum, I embarrassed him and I shouldn't have said it was naughty and that I sexualized the word by using breast as she uses boob. (She doesn't like the word naughty because poking/touching another woman's breast isn't naughty it's only innapropriate)
She then went on a rant about how Dh should be paying her double a month in maintenance payments (we worked out a few months ago that he was slightly overpaying, but he's just had a pay rise and so he's now paying £10 under) and that my wage should be factored in as we're married.
Her payment is due to go down in March when I give birth so we're keeping it at the current payment. And we will help contribute to buying new school uniform before the start of the next school year.
She also has 2 other children with someone that lives with her. She has told us that he doesn't work and he pays nothing towards his 2 children. He helps around the house and with the kids but offers no financial support to her. I feel like she's using us to finance her other 2 children.
I love these boys and I do lot for them. They aren't my biological children they are my husbands.
We both work full time. And those weekends that we have the boys we always try to do something fun together- whether that's a day out or a few hours at the park.
We've been told that every other weekend is not good enough and that we need to have them for evenings in the week (Dh work shifts. He gets 2 days off a week. The weekend we have the kids are his 2 days off so them he won't get a day off for at least 5 days following that weekend and his shifts are mainly 4.30 till midnight. The kids finish school at 3.15 and he has to leave for work around 3.55 to be at work on time. So those days are pretty much out of the equation. We've decided to try and set aside an hour on one of his evenings off a month following the weekend with the boys for us to take them to the park. But we would also like to spend time together being a newly wed couple. I sometimes don't see my husband for days (unless you count his crawling into bed at gone midnight)
Just feeling a little lost and not sure what else me and DH can do. We've asked their mum for a list of the boundaries she's set so that we can try to follow them so the boys have got the same boundaries at both houses (She likes to give them alot of sweets which is something that we don't agree with and won't allow in our home)