Would you?

[Taylorandnicolesmummy]

So my DP is away in October to see his dad because it's his 70th birthday. I have 2 children and he has 2 children, we live together and have his 2 every weekend and mine every other weekend.

His ex works at the weekend which is why we have his every single weekend (even when she is not working it seems she would rather go out with friends than spend time with her children) with this in mind when he goes to Away there will be 3 weekends where he won't be able to look after them. She has gone mad.

He's trying to sort it out and is asking his mum to come over to have them he's also asked if I would have them for one weekend, I feel like I should help except
A) I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my children, we spent 3 years on our own before he came along and I think both me and my kids miss having time for just us
B) I know she's booked 3 seperate weekends off work where we will have the children and she will be soending time with her friend away.
C) we don't get on at all, pick ups and drop offs will be very awkward and also she may be working in the day but if she's out in the evening I'll feel like she's taking the pi55.

Would you say yes and have them while dp's away??

It's crazy not to have any flexibility at all from either parent. Its a very hard way to parent. Particularly if one parent has to cover every single weekend.

Ive often been flexible for my Ex, much as I don't get on with him. Obviously, if he was asking for stuff all the time it would drive me mad. But he's needed to spend time with ill parents, he even went on a long holiday with his GF.

Firstly I think it's a bit much having them every weekend, I feel having them in the week is different as it's nice to do family things at the weekend. Tbh my step children as close as I am to them would rather spend the weekend with their mum than me if their dad was away and the same with my own children they wouldn't want to go stay with their dads partner. I think she should have them really, I think it's too much for you as I completely get your children wanting to spend quality time with you, mine are the same . Saying that I might do it as a favour but I wouldn't be happy x

Yeah I get that, but even so if the dad fucks off to do as he pleases, it's not up to his partner to pick up the pieces for his children. It all falls back on to the mum. Why should the stepmum be expected to step up in his absence?

I haven't suggested it's the step mum's problem. I was reacting to the idea that it's the mother's responsibility to cover an ex who hasn't bothered to consult with his ex. I would hope that the step mum can see the bigger picture here and take it up with her partner, rather than leave the ex in a position where she may struggle to work and the potential knock-on effect that might have.

Yes, it all falls back on the mum. It shouldn't. Dad needs to get a grip and face his responsibilities. I hope the OP tells him that.

Just a thought.... if it's his dad's 70th..... Wouldn't he like his dad to see his grandkids perhaps? Is there a reason the kids can't go with him? Win/win. He gets time with his kids and you get time with yours? Grandparents love to see their grandbabies

Has anyone asked the kids what they'd like to do?

Where is he going for the other two weekends? Is it somewhere that you could perhaps all go as a family?

Both kids will be at school, he leaves on a Saturday and returns 2 weeks later and so 3 weekends in total to cover x

What do you think is going to happen then OP? Can the mum really not just have her kids for 3 weekends? It's as though it's a terrible thing to ask of her. October is still a bit away so plenty of time for her to arrange with work etc..
Maybe it will be nice for her and the children to spend a few weekends together as they never get that time together.

It could be an opportunity for her to do something with the kids that perhaps she wouldn't get to do on a weekday.... like a day out somewhere nice.

I would most definitely offer my help and say the children are more than welcome but you're planning a weekend away with your DC on one of the weekends so if she could make arrangements for that weekend that'd be fab.

She'll probably be grateful of a weekend with her kids. I know I would be.

As far as I am aware she's booked all her days off for this year and so has none left.

That was exactly my thoughts, that she may welcome the opportunity to spend some time with them on a weekend, there's not really much you can do after school when there's dinner and baths to do.

Anyway, i think his mum is coming over to stay with her one weekend and I'll have them for one of the other weekends, still leaves one to fill though, not sure what time his flights are though so it may only need part of another weekend covering