step daughters older sister wwyd?

[DarthPrincess]

Little bit of back story not to drip feed ( and first post on step parenting board)

We've been together 6 months, dp has just moved in. I have a daughter full time and shared custody of my son ( 50/50 which works for us) dp has a daughter who he sees one weekday one weekend and one overnight a fortnight but this is looking likely to be inceeased to overnight every week.
Dp was never in a relationship with the mother literally they had a few dates and slept together and its been very rocky between them ( mainly I feel as she doesnt fully trust dp as he had never been a parent and they are two very different people)
Childs mum has a daughter from previous relationship the same age as my dd who used to occasionally go with dp and sd but it tailed off when he told them about me. This girl has never had a dad again like dd and when exh left she got left behind as she wasn't his bio child and i said from the start I couldnt push this little girl out.

Anyway long story short now ive mentioned some basic background, I met bio mum at the weekend at her request , we all got along as all kids where there and she even said mother to mother she would feel more comfortable about everything now. The girls got on so well and when bio mum mentioned the time for next contact the other girl asked if she could come along to. I didnt hesitate and said of course and she looked so happy.

Bio mum text a few hours later saying thanks for letting her meet me and she feels like I'm a good person and more then happy for me to be around the kids and it meant a lot that I wouldn't exclude her other daughter. Dp is over the moon she's asked to come and even happier that his ex is that happy she's increasing his overnights.

My friends and family think I'm mad for including this child who has no connection to our family but I feel in my heart its the right thing to do,whether its a temp thing until the novelty wears off or her mum meets someone etc. I dont know but I would hate for her to feel excluded in the way my own dd has been.

Please be honest with your opinions - am I doing the right thing or ultimately am I making the situation worse for everyone?

Also apologies about grammar and spelling, I'm using my phone and its hopeless

You're doing the right thing OP, and good on you.

I understand your motives, and you seem like a very nice, caring person....but I think you may need to be a little careful here! No doubt the ex is delighted you're taking both sisters off her hands, but it could get costly, difficult and even burdensome....and how distressing for the sister if she doesn't get taken every time, or if suddenly has to stop?
Apart from that you're very early on in this relationship, and so perhaps this situation might be a little too full on for such a short time together?!

You sound lovely with what you are trying to do and I wish you well. But I am a bit shocked at your DP not being so keen to ensure that he helps his child bond with their half sibling. I know they do at their mum's but surely it is important that his child sees him value that relationship too. It seems odd to me that he is leaving it down to his partner of just a few months.

Iwant, he has always taken her sister if she chose to go along. When we got together it tailed off tho ( before I was introduced to dsd) she had asked about me as he had Disney cups in his flat belonging me ( he doesnt drink tea and coffee so bought them for me when i started going to his) so she'd asked who they belonged to and hed explained he had a girlfriend. I think mum probably did damage limitation and she started limiting her want to go along incase like a lot of people I refused to have her along with us or maybe didnt want her daughter going along with another woman. Or maybe the 8 year old her self chose to withdraw knowing there was another woman in the shadows and didn't want her mum feeling bad if she went along.

That's why in an earlier post I said dp was happy, he never minded taking her along with his dd so knowing she still wanted to come made him happy.

I think there's just so many of us with different opinions and feelings that nobody wanted to broach until we where all together in a room and it just happened.

Wdigin the weekday visit due to logistics she couldnt come along as she's at school ad by the time we picked her up and got home its almost time to return to mums, if she chose to come Every Sunday on contact days thats fine, one extra child when we already have 3 is literally no extra work, I know from in the past if dp was just having a house day she would tend to stay with mum ( dont blame her his flat wasn't exactly an exciting place for a kid)