Basically I feel like the only reason my boyfriend is with me is so he has someone to look after his son, pay his bills, keep the fridge stocked and his dinner on the table. Oh and be available in bed whenever he wants..which is all the time.
I'm 32 and this is my first time living with someone..he is 38 and has been married before, it ended with her cheating and him being awarded full custody of his son. I have 2 boys who are 8 and 3, his son is 13. Him and his son are very close, he goes out of his way to make sure his son doesn't feel like he's missing out on dad time but I always seem to be the one left on my own so they can have time together. I'm at stay at home mum just now as my oldest boy has additional needs and needed me at home, I'm hoping to return to work in the new year but just now I spend all my days looking after kids while he is working.
He wants my kids in bed at 7 so we can have adult time but will then let his son sit with us or they will turn the football on while I'm getting my kids in bed so I end up sitting in my room reading as I really don't want to be spending my "adult time" with his kid who I've cooked, cleaned and cared for while he was at work, watching something I'm not interested in.
Housework is also an issue, he says he doesnt expect me to do everything but his actions show different. Him and his son leave everything at their backsides. I pick up empty cans, half full glasses and sweetie wrappers all day but if I haven't hoovered and dusted one day he gets huffy. He doesn't touch the washing then asks if his son's uniform is ready on a Monday morning, or has a go if it isn't done because his son didn't put it in the wash basket till Sunday night when I've told him to have it downstairs on a Friday night.
Food is also an issue, they are both really fussy eaters and eat loads of junk food. I have never been like that. My kids were brought up to eat fruit and veg and treat sweets as occasional treats. Everytime my partner's son walks in the door he heads up to his room with another bag of sweets and crisps and cans of fizzy juice. Every meal had to be amended to suit his son, I love to cook but hate having to change every meal. I don't mind compromising some nights but on the nights I cook what I want I'm made to feel like I'm being selfish.
Finally, they moved in to my house. They've been here for 3 months and my bf hasn't once asked how I'm managing to pay the rent. He's working full-time and doesn't pay for much at all. All his money is spent on him and his son..all he has to do is say he "needs" something and his dad buys it. This isn't how I've raised my kids. And the way his son speaks to him is awful sometimes..like he's the dad and his dad is the child. Saying that my bf speaks to me like a child a lot of the time.
Saying all this, he is a loving, kind man. He loves me and my kids dearly and has been very supportive through my oldest's screening and diagnosis. When it's good we laugh all day everyday but then he'll get in a bad mood and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells cuz I know he's looking for an argument. He loves to argue and I'm not a confrontational person at all. I cry when I'm angry.
I'm just wondering if I'm being sensitive because this is my first time living with someone. I'm used to being a single mum who is in charge of the house. Is this just a power struggle? Are we just finding our way in the relationship?