Rant Alert- Unreasonable to know who's living in my home?

[HormonalHeap]

Dss 21 has been living with his girlfriend for the last 3 months, occasionally coming back to pick something up.

Early this morning I saw his car outside. On questioning dh, I was told "dss is living here now". I lost my rag and asked dh did he not think it reasonable I am told who lives in my home? Dh responded by saying he doesn't always know if my dd (who lives with us) is staying in or out. I went ballistic am I over reacting?

Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your stepdad. My dd and dh have that too. It's just so complicated- I think as teenagers especially, we all have our moments and behave badly with our parents- the difference is, our parents can tell us it's not on, whereas a step parent isn't able to; they have to reley on the parent to do that job- and where they won't because of divided loyalties, that's where big resentment starts.

And I am, cynically, beginning to think that DSCs carry on the resentment or indifference because it DOES have an effect and because our DPs collude with it. So, without them being conscious of this, there's a reward for them. I know my two eldest DSDs had a short period of DP pampering them specially, taking them out, when they voiced anti 'SM' feelings. It worked!

How infuriating, they're REWARDED for causing problems? i think they also want to make us uncomfortable. Best thing is to show them exactly how happy you are with your life- works a treat.

Thanks, SO infuriating! I think my DSCs have become indifferent to their parents and that is why it's so easy to be like that with me - lost some kind of respect along the way. Your DSCs sound similar, ignoring your DP and 'punishing' him or moving back in and being rude to you don't sound like the actions of children who have a good relationship with him either?

Two of them are fine with dh but ignore me, just won't accept me. The third is the one who's punishing dh and cut him off. You know what? Life is just too short. You have to look at the bigger picture. Be happy. I have two kids, a lovely husband and a great life. I won't allow these spoilt unpleasant individuals to impact on it. If dh wants to that's his choice.