am i wrong?

[WSM123]

My partner and I Have his two boys every second weekend, we have an agreed time that they can come in to wake us up of 7.30, they can play in their room until then and have a coloured clock (green to go, orange to play and red to stay in bed) so its easy. Every morning the 6 year old makes up a reason to come in early and if I tell him to go back to his room until its on green my partner says im a nasty bitch and mean to the kids etc. My point is why have the clock if he doesn't enforce the rules?

for those wondering, No he hasn't gone. We had an interesting week, someone called child protection on his ex so of course we got the blame (it wasn't us) but that lead to the need of some solidarity in the ranks, and a chance for him to show he trusts me (I would have wondered if it was me if I was him) it also lead to some proper discussion so will see how this coming weekend with the kids goes

Good luck, OP.

It's hard for me to advise as I just try to treat my step son exactly as I do my own kids (but you don't have kids) and if they are up and ready for the day at 6.30 I get up with them but we go downstairs, watch tele quietly, snuggle with a drink and toast etc and make sure we don't disturb anyone else in the house - this is what your husband should be doing with his kids. It's one day a fortnight - he's their dad so suck it up! He should go to bed earlier if he knows they'll be getting him up early.

Maybe on the odd occasion you might enjoy getting up and making their breakfast but it should be their dad. Maybe make a deal with him - he does breakfasts and tries to keep the noise down and you do lunch? You'd be making lunch for yourselves anyway so no big deal.

Agree with others don't put up with any name calling.

Sounds a bit horrible for you to be honest. Even if you want to stay with him, I think you have to give him a big wake up call unless you want to spend the rest of your relationship feeling walked all over.

UPDATE.. He got up early and went into the spare room so the kids could go jump in with him which is what he wanted. I got coffee in bed later on and he put on Cartoons for the kids so we could have coffee together in peace. and then because I got my sleep in (and coffee) I made pancakes as a late breakfast for us all (rewarding good behaviour from the 3 of them hehe)
And Yes Bananas he knows that any nastiness and hes gone.

Yay OP that's great to hear it went so well. Hopefully it continues that way

Funny how sometimes a thread on MN can give you the strength to know what is and isn't acceptable and act on it.

OP - you standing up to him was hopefully a wake up call to him of how much he needs you and should appreciate you, especially with the social services situation now.
I think you are amazing to do all this for them, especially since you don't have (or want) your own kids. I have my own as well as stepkids and I wouldn't let them jump on me anytime, but especially not at 6.30 in the morning!!!

WSM123 good for you!