Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

Hope things very a bit better for you whogives I think you're right that getting to the point when you don't care any more and stop trying isn't a good way forwards in a relationship, even if it does make things temporarily calmer. Hope your OH gets his head round actually being a parent.

My DSC have been with their mum all this week and apart from one day's sickie from DSD they seem to have managed their bus ride. They're staying there this weekend. I can't recall the last time we had a child-free weekend, not since before the summer certainly. DH and I are heading out for a curry once he gets in and have a party to go to tomorrow which won't involve DH itching to get home once it gets after about 10.30 because he knows his DC won't actually go to bed if we're out . I'm going to make an effort to talk about things other than kids for at least some of this evening too

Cheese all! I'm sc free, DH free and ds soon in bed! Happy days lol

Lots of free parents tonight we had a phone call from dsds mum as she has been a handful this week so united front against that. But she also reported some of the kids at school have been laughing at her for having a mummy and two dads since dsds mums dp has picked her up! I know they are just kids but this makes me a little sad for her

I'm surprised this goes on at school seeking as split families are quite common, but then kids will go for anything (like me having red hair )

*seeming

I know. If it keeps going on we will tak to school but we have told dsd that she is just very special to have so many people that love her and all the attached extra presents but she hates being laughed at for anything!

Well, we've had a lovely weekend. There seem to be so many hours in the day when there aren't any kids around to be fed, talked to, taken places, etc. Feels like a really long break we've had :)

Only partially interrupted by DH's ex emailing to complain that these new arrangements aren't working for her because she has lots of plans for weekends coming up, so can't be doing with it and how can she possibly be expected to plan for something as complicated as alternate weeks? . So I'd better not get too used to quiet child-free weekends I guess.

DH is picking the DSC up in a couple of hours for the coming week. The device we bought which makes the router go on and off on a timer has arrived and I've set it up. Still not sure how DH plans to deal with late night phone messaging if they're just using mobile data though. Don't relish having that discussion.

Is she for real? It's quite easy to plan, most people can do it. I would stick to your guns if I were you as you deserve the free weekends to.

Yes of course it's perfectly easy to plan around a fortnightly routine. The kids have a two week timetable at school which we'd fit it around, so they could tell you whether it'll be week A or week B for the rest of the year. The issue is really that she's not used to having the kids at weekends and considers them to her her time off. I'm not sure it will get pushed though as I don't think DH really wants to only have half the weekends with his kids, especially DSS2 who is staying with his mum in the week.

Hope you don't mind me hijacking this really good thread. As a long suffering wife of a Disney dad, I just wanted to post something amusing.

Dsd 16 has cut dh off for 6 months now, and dh finally managed to wangle a meeting with her and got to the bottom of the problem. It turns out she is fed up with his disneying ways and needs more boundaries! When he told her the pair of Prada shoes he bought her (yes!!!) was an early Xmas present, she was confused to then get an Xmas present as usual!! Ironically, she's much happier with her mother and stepdad who aren't afraid to tell her when she's being out of order- let this be a lesson to non resident dads who try to score points by spoiling their kids rotten. In the end you can't buy love.

Hormonal - that is a salutary tale!

Hormonal, (how are you by the way?), as you know, if my DH has a fault it's behaving like a Dizneydad to one oh his DD's! Her behaviour generally is thoughtless and selfish, but she 'forgot' an important date this week, and he is angry. He has made her aware of this in the sternest terms I've ever seen him use towards her....things at a bit of a stalemate at the minute, so I'm watching this space! I couldn't bring myself to bring him down even more by stating the obvious....she is what you made her!!!!

Wdigin - I have similar! Older DSDs hardly bothering with DP, they don't come to see him, don't ask how he is, yet he continues to be their taxi daily service and cash point. Yet they are all far more giving to their mother, who does very little for them, but is clear with them about what she needs. A sad lesson there!

Yes Bananas, a lesson I fear my DH will never learn!

aaaargh please may I jump in? I don't want to start my own thread just need some tea and sympathy for a moment. Will read back in a bit and return the favour.

DP has just (AGAIN) informed me that he didn't bother getting his contact dates from his ex until just now. He assumed (AGAIN) that it would all be rosy and he didn't need to make the effort. He is (AGAIN) wrong and I could cry.

My ex is pretty decent overall and accommodates the fact that DP and his ex follow a court ordered contact schedule, which irritatingly is not DPs court order - it is her previous ex partner's schedule (for an older child, not DP's). He follows it out of courtesy to her so she gets child free time.

My ex works shifts and has been asking since Dec when we need weekends booked til Easter. DP now informs me from half term he's fucked the diary and we're out of sync (did I mention, AGAIN??). So our kids are from this weekend on, now at home alternating weekends until April. Something completely avoidable if he would only take responsibility for his calendar on time. Which I remind him about all the freaking time.

We're going through a really rough patch and two months of zero child free time, not to mention our lot all missing each other (and no doubt the disneying in between of his) are going to put a tonne of pressure on us that I really don't need right now. I'm gutted :(

He has apologised in a 'sorry love' kind of way but clearly doesn't see how pissed I am right now. How do I even start to get it across? FFS.

Choco I would be furious too. It's strain enough but that thoughtlessness that means you lose out puts a ton of pressure on both of you.

it's pressure on us all :( the DC will all be gutted to miss seeing each other for a couple of months. And I won't have any time when I'm 'off' because I'll have kids in the house the whole time. I honestly could cry - and I am so cross. He just doesn't get it. Why?? Why are men so effing crap?? Thanks for the sympathy Bananas

Ime choco getting stressed about things you can't control ie dp lack of organisation isn't good for you. If I was you I would take myself away for a few of the weekends you have his DC. Not in a vindictive or malicious way, just as an opportunity for catching up with friends/ doing something for you. Hopefully you'll feel better about taking control of the situation and less likely to spend the weekend stewing in resement.

I can totally understand your frustration! I would also go away one or two weekends when your DC are at thier dads and let DP deal with it.

It could be worse...you could have zero child free weekends ever like me

There was meant to be a wink and a glass of wine at the end of that :(

Oh! I see them now :)

Thanks Cadbury and Whogives. I spoke to Dp tonight and he got a total mardy on as he knows a) I'm right and b) it is his fault totally. He's offered to take his DC to visit family at least one weekend, although he did flounce about that a bit! I will also go away when I can. It's pointless trying to battle on through, if the last two years have taught me anything it's to put myself first now and then. Martyrdom serves none of us in the end! indeed!!

No to martyrdom! I'll drink to that!

choco I feel your pain.

My DP thinks all will be rosy all the time with his ex. He ends up disappointed every single time. You'd think he'd learn that she's unreasonable but he doesn't.

That would make me really cross too choco Having time with all our DC together is part of what makes our family work, and having no time off together seems so unnecessary when he could simply have sorted the dates out sooner. You shouldn't have to, but would there be any possibility of asking your ex to switch weekends? I think my ex would probably be flexible if he could in those circumstances.

As well as going about your own thing I think you should probably also insist on a bit of couple time whilst you have the DSC - get a babysitter one night (which he pays for) and make a bit of time for the two of you.