Stepmothers: how would you feel about this?

[clearsommespace]

I have some long forgotten slides of our childhood which I have scanned and I am working on a photobook for DF significant birthday. Inevitably DM appears in some of the pictures but most are just me and siblings. All pictures are taken 10 years before DF met my step-mother (by which time the youngest of us was already late teens).

Do you think my step-mother could be upset by this gift? She and DM never got on but DM passed away years ago. I don't want to offend but I think DF will enjoy seeing these images which have been in a box in my loft since DM died.

I can't exclude the images of DM because I only just have enough images to fill the pages of the smallest photobook available.

I agree with those who say how would your DF feel? I personally think some of the cutest pics of DSS as a baby were taken with him in his mum's arms and I wouldn't mind a gift like that to DP - at the end of the day it's irrelevant how I feel anyway. DP and his ex obviously had good times as they planned DSS and to pretend otherwise would be a lie. DP on the other hand, whilst he appreciates how cute DSS looks, wouldn't be too happy with receiving them as he hates his ex for the way she acts towards him now.

This is a really difficult one.

My (blended) family has a "killer photo" of the five of us - me, DP, DSS1, DSS2 and DD - on holiday looking like the perfect happy family we are. It's an accidental photo but one we all love... Except that it would be unbelievably hurtful to DP's exW.

I think I'd feel better knowing that someone had thought about my feelings prior to giving the present. I'd find it mega awkward looking at them though so would probably make myself scarce and say "why don't you take some time to look at them together". I don't expect the past to be erased and certainly want my dsc to reminisce about their childhood, but I think that reminiscence is something they should enjoy together without me there.

I wouldn't do it actually - sorry to rain on your parade as your intentions are lovely. I think it's fraught with potential problems and quite possibly your dad won't want pics with his ex wife in.

Can you just choose fewer slides with only you kids in them? Even if that means it's not a photo book as such but a smaller album etc?

ps I am thinking of my own dad and stepmother. Neither would be terribly happy with this gift but of course it's subjective.

If anyone gave me a photograph with me and my ex in it I'm afraid I would burn it. I'd be sure of how it would be received before you do it