Holidays !

[mamafos]

My SD is 16 and has just announced that her dad has never been there for her and he proves this by doing everything with me and not taking them abroad on holiday. I wasn't there at the time however DP is rubbish at explaining things so I have the job tomorrow - my choice as we are all upset at her outburst, including her obviously and I feel it should be addressed.

We have been together for 8 years now, have had the children every weekend for all of this time up until a year ago when they decided to only come on Sundays as they naturally wanted to go out with friends. DP & I have had a holiday abroad together most years on our own, have always taken them away in the caravan for 2 weeks in the UK and then DP took them to Cyprus on his own one year.

I plan to tell her that it has always been important for dad and I to have holidays together because it is important time for us to build our relationship. We both work full time and I work abroad a lot, we have them every weekend & take them away on hol every year so dad and I also need some time. Also we can't afford to take them abroad every year and pay for their school trips to Germany, a brace, all the fab birthday & christmas presents, pay their mum etc and we have been saving to take them on a caribbean cruise for dad's 50th next Easter (which they know about)

I'd also like to add that I need a holiday with dad for my sanity! She ignores me sometimes as she misses dad and wants his love and attention, which is understandabe but I don't want to go away with someone who ignores me cos she resents me spending time with dad.

But maybe this is going too far.

What do you think? advice PLEASE

[SureFootedWhispher]

I don't think children need to be included in every adult activity. I didn't go abroad until I was 18 and paid for it myself. I sometimes feel that children are becoming toospolit.

We haven't taken DSSs abroad. The one time it became booked up the plans became messed up by their relatives.

We have been abroad without them. Honeymoon and two additional holidays I paid for. We haven't been abroad since the honeymoon.

We use to take them away to nice UK places. Centre Parcs and holiday cottages. They now pay to go away with their friends.

We have a toddler daughter. I had a massive wage increase so we will probably take her abroad (if I can make myself go on a plane again). It may not be for a while as I don't believe going abroad is all that great with young children. I think it will appear unequal, but the situation is different finacially and workwise. I hope my DSSs wont be bitter. I think they understand but are 18 & 20.

I think your DStepChildren are very lucky to go on a cruise and school holidays.