11 year old dsd disaster day again..!!

[Elizabeth120914]

So I thought I would try and create an environment where dsd and oh can bond doing something together..

She has been tough lately as she won't come round unless we offer her something her dad feels used and when she gets here she ignores him and wants to be with me which doesn't go down well at all..

So she likes food her dads into his bike so we pick her up make a picnic and head off to a park I'd found online which has a massive adventure play ground. Now I'm nearly 8 months pregnant so no cycling for me I took the dog along there's a big off road bike track too so they would have to ride together ...

Well no! I've walked 4 miles well waddled with poor old dog round the track and she's crawled next to me on the bike! The love of food has suddenly vanished she's on a diet! Won't go on the track with me watching and then got in the car and immediately asks if it's home time and what's happening next..

We get home and she falls asleep for two hours refuses any tea and goes home without three words to oh or a thank you!

If I didn't laugh I would cry! He's annoyed, shes gone home and I've walked 4 miles for nothing.. There must be a funny side somewhere i give up!! Please tell me I'm not the only one failing with a very sulky 11 year old?!

I think it is natural for girls to pull away from their fathers at that age. I know at 11 I didn't spend a lot of time with my Dad. It's not a natural environment to have to spend so much quality time with your dad at that age.
I think OP that you should actually let her spend time with you while she is in this stage, her dad will be there and she does know he's there but forced time with him will just make her feel under pressure.
When the baby comes it will give you all a focus and you may find that it brings her closer to her dad when she sees him with the baby.

Fingers crossed! I think it's just very tiring being stuck in the middle and hormones don't help.. If he didn't take the huff with me when she wants me it wouldn't be so bad but even MIL is miffed I can't win..

Think il have a word next week with him again he can at least involve himself in what we are doing or stop getting annoyed at me about it. It's horrible he's snappy and huffy all weekend and I'm run ragged between them.

I know he's fed up how she is but it's not my fault i just want her to want to come...? She's not into the whole baby thing at all if that continues he will have to help she pretends that her other siblings at her mums don't exist so not expecting an easy transition..

As much as I love my dad, he was really awkward at this stage as well. With both myself and my brother, he just didn't know what to do with us when we were in that "in-between" phase. When we were little, he could chase us round, tickle, watch cartoons, read to us, etc. He was super into sport with us and would be the one to take us to training and do drills in the backyard. And once we were older, he could talk to us like we were adults. But that in between phase had him completely lost.

I wonder if he would start putting a lot more effort in if he didn't see his daughter for a while?

Sadly not.. Last weekend was our weekend MIL had her Saturday and then we were supposed to pick her up Sunday but OH was too hungover after going out with BIL and MIL kept her for the day... Dsd wasn't bothered I took her up some clothes and stuff to MIL to change but I just really don't think there's a relationship there anymore.

On Saturday we took her to meet MIL which was a 40 mile round trip she didn't speak in the car, say thank u or goodbye and then went running up to her uncle Infront of OH cuddling him and MIL!!

MIL says it's all OH and OH is blaming a very rude 11 year old in reality it's both of them a very manipulative child and a stubborn 35 year old whose supposed to be the adult and parent!

I'm sick of the pair of them but that's another story..