Things are so nice during the week!

[yoyo27]

As I type this I have my own children playing in the garden, two step children upstairs doing their own thing. Tried to involve them downstairs but they don't want to. Fiancé has popped into town.

I hate having them here

I beg your pardon? At what point have I 'listed their faults'? Or said that my children don't?

Thank you for the helpful posts, I really appreciate them. I won't bother on this bitchy site again

Judgemental - yes, you bet I am when it comes to adults behaving like spoilt selfish toddlers and blaming the actual children involved for this not being a perfect world

bitter - no, not really - I'm not the one who wants to airbrush a 9yo and an 11yo out of my life because they don't prance around laughing in the sunshine in front of a stepmother who despises them

You listed them in the post i quoted. Hth.

SillyBilly, you are making the assumption that the OP doesn't know this, and hasn't thought about that.
Questions designed to patronise another person are actually quite rude. We all have faults. Hurrah.

Apparently I'm cold and unpleasant. And god knows what the OPs children are doing wrong to set those poor DSC off in a strop. o.O

Despise them? Not at all. But if your children had friends that came over every weekend and made your kids cry, were rude to you, would you want them to still come over?

In fact the only people being unpleasant are the people posting negative comments on this thread

Dogfish- it wasnt my intention to patronise or be rude. I assumed she hadnt considered it because there was no indication in her posts that she had. There seemed to be little to no acknowledgent that these children were just normal children like her own with feelings they are probably struggling with. It seemed like he was blaming their personalities for everything being awful.

Sounds like he wants a babysitter tbh...

Well, sometimes, my own children make each other cry and are rude to me. But I don't wish they weren't here!

These are not your children's friends. They are children of your family. You and your dp need to grow up.

SillyBilly, no, she has listed certain behaviours that need to be addressed by their father. Behaviours are not 'faults'. Unless you want to go with the notion that behaviours are equal to personality traits, in which case I would have to attest you a couple of things as well, and I very much doubt you would want that.

Greensleeves, when you get a cold, do you complain about the stupid virus that is just about to take over yet another cell in your respiratory tract, or are you complaining about the fact that you have a stuffy nose? OP is venting about a symptom (DCS behaviour), when the cause is OPs fiancé.

I would also like to congratulate both of you, as you successfully managed to scare the OP away with the judgemental crap you two are spouting. Maybe look for a new hobby?

SillyBilly, then I would suggest to actually read the whole thread next time, as I went on about exactly that at length and OP was in agreement.

Well dogfish i'll extend my congratulations to you in completely misreading the tone and intention of my posts and responding aggressively when it was completely misplaced. I think maybe you are too quick to attack.

She's not being "scared off", she doesn't like being disagreed with and didn't expect anything other than "aw we've all been there hun xxx"

wrong forum. and I like my hobby just fine, thanks.

There's nowhere on MN where you would get a "pat on the back" for saying "I hate having them here" about your dp's preteen kids. Because....it's vile.

what 'certain other support forums'? And surely it is people that expect? A forum is just that- it cant have expectations. Different people make up the forums. Some expect agreement at all times, others are more realistic and know they arent always right. That goes for every forum.

I would be completely rethinking your relationship and future with this man OP.
It sounds as if you would all be much happier if you had separate households and he parented his own DC.

Is he the father of your 2 DC?

3littlefrogs, yes he is.

An example of the upset.....last weekend my SS ran around calling my son 'nappy boy' and pointing and laughing (he was wearing pyjama pants, which he hides)

What rubbish! Kids do call each other names, especially in families. You discipline them and move on. Not wish they weren't there

Sorry, how many children are we talking about? Can't imagine a 17 month old being bothered about being called nappy boy, or wearing pyjama pants for that matter. Do you each have two children and then two together?

So his two older children must have been part of your life for some time?
Has their behaviour changed since you had the two younger ones?
You say they are 4m and 17m? They are very small and close in age, it must be very hard work and difficult for you to pay much attention to the older ones.
Why does your partner leave you to look after them all?

Can't imagine why you'd think nine and 11 year olds would want to play with a four-month old and a 17-month old either.

My son is 6.

I have children, he has children, we have children.

I think that the only way forward is to live separately.

I am expected to be super excited that they're here, yet also not allowed to tell them off either (his choice). It can't all be roses.

He works from home but has regularly taken time with us all. Even then, they still don't join in. I don't know why they're here if he is working anyway