Why use your children as pawns ???

[Mrsmorrison13]

Its absolutely disgusting in my opinion and is happened ing left right and centre !

Happening to us right now - it's only the children that are suffering .

Sorry had to vent makes me sick to my stomach

These mothers are a disgrace that do it - the children will know when they are older and then these women will
Lose what's most important - their childrens respect

Unfortunately though this does happen even in apparently loving relationships.... my mum would often use me to hurt my dad, whether it be sending me to tell him he will die If he carries on smoking or threatening to punish me If I didn't back her up in an argument from as young as I can remember, she would double check that I would want to live with her if they divorced after every argument. They are still together, though I don't know why other than to keep up appearances. Yet even now she tries to drag me in telling me every detail of recent arguments... It isn't just exes who use their children unfortunately and I'm so glad for my dad that she didn't leave when we were young as I am certain she would have been one of THOSE women.

That's so sad that you were involved in that xx

I think it's such a shame too. Daughter's boyfriend has a 3-yr old son, he's a good Dad and has been excited about so many things and planned for them (Christmas, Easter coming, etc), she's withheld visits, because she can. The ex-GF is not nice (and I can say that as an observer) treating Daddy badly. I've seen Daddy crying, but: the main person suffering is the little lad. Whatever goes on between the parents, for crying out loud,don't take it out on the children. It is really so unfair - on them!!

lily pie I'm not that bothered now, I just feel so bad for my dad who still has to live with her. She has borderline personality disorder so it's not completely her fault.

What I find sad is how a lot of these children end up never knowing the truth and will forever believe lies about their dad's. I could see the truth, that while my dad could be lazy or accidentally do things that upset her but that the real problem was my mum, because I watched everything that happened. Many children will not see that and while it is good that they don't see the upsetting things going on between their parents, it does mean that they may grow up with feelings towards their father which he doesn't deserve.

It's beyond disgusting, because it changes who the children are FOR THE WORST.

My dp's exwife actually rants on about how great a mother she is, whilst actively bashing my dp in front of them, ranting on about how bad a father he is, making the oldest dc her 'best friend' and continually abusing us all by email and text. Btw, there's no OW, dad is faultless with money and very regular access. So figure what that's about! Jealousy, depression, probably, but all of those are her problems that she puts onto the kids. Pathetic. I don't play those games even though my exh had an affair, I've let it go for the sake of the kids and MY happiness.

It's when a parent valued THEMSELVES over the kids that this happens. But of course... 'I'm a bloody great mother to your kids, you should appreciate me, blah, blah, blah...'

It's when a parent valued THEMSELVES over the kids that this happens

Exactly.