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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Support thread. For current step-parents.

346 replies

brdgrl · 31/03/2014 16:18

If you're a current step-parent with children who live with you at least some of the time, and fancy offloading or a rant or have a question you want to ask others who are currently in your situation and you want to do it in a safe place, and you don't want to ask a non-step-parent then why not ask in here.
:)

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TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:02

Arrrrrrrrrr!!! So sick of my husbands attitude towards me changing on contact weekends! He gets soooo bloody defensive!!!

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:03

Sorry if I've butted in ConfusedWine

supermariossister · 27/04/2014 14:07

hope your okay mumsrush.

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:24

Just stopped cooking the roast and have walked out

NatashaBee · 27/04/2014 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supermariossister · 27/04/2014 14:35

Sad. what's up?

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:43

Well, this morning I got up and did sausage sarnie for all, the baby needed something (can't remember what) and H told me to get of my arse and do it. I went into my room as I didn't appreciate being spoken to like that in front of the DSC. I don't know if you read my previous post about my crap night but as I was very tired I fell asleep. When I woke I could hear the DSC charging around and it was all getting out of control (they are not small). I only went out in the end because they woke the baby, I showed my annoyance in this and that pissed of my husband. I started to cook a roast dinner but he told me that they had all been picking so not to bother (Easter eggs). I left it a little bit and then started to cook again. At the same time he started to make cheese and ham toastie for them!! He told me was my fault because of my bad timing and dinner would be to late

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:46

The house is trashed the baby is grumpy and there is a raw chicken in the oven.im always public enemy number one EOW. It's never the kids behaviour.

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 14:47

Super, I did have somewhere to go... The slug and lettuce Grin

supermariossister · 27/04/2014 15:54

god that sounds grim, can see why you lost your temper what a waste of the dinner! will you be able to save it think id be in the slug and lettuce in your position too. I know what you mean I feel like the ogre who does all the nagging about tidying and homework

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 16:19

The chicken I can save, my marriage...?

alex7149 · 27/04/2014 16:34

Wow your DP sucks!

See sometimes I think being a step parent would be easier if our dps made more of an effort- how can he not see how that is rude- even if he was in the middle of something important, or how he shouldn't have been letting them snack on so much chocolate providing he knew you were planning a roast dinner, and that he should have seen you were cooking later and never even thought to give them any more than a piece of fruit as a snack, or should have at least asked you what time was dinner and did you have any suitable snacks.
My view is that if there are any ways in which you are expected to act like the kids parents, then in those ways you should be allowed to treat them as you would your kids, so if you cook for them and sort out their meals, you should be allowed to say no to snacks etc.

Luckily most of the time dp is good with these things, but sometimes he will decide he wants a snack, and then of course the kids do too- I have the same problem though, especially with dsd, if I have dinner or lunch later than her for any reason, she will then want some of mine too -.- and with her asd it's hard to convey to her that it is my lunch and if I give some to her then I will be hungry!

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 16:40

I always do a roast, and we had fruit. He started making the toasties after I started cooking? What a knob!

wheresthelight · 27/04/2014 16:42

Aww mumsrush that is awful!! Here are a few Wine Wine Wine for you!!

Why does men think that treating us like shit is going to endear us to being Mary fucking poppins to their kids?!

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 17:35

Back home, they've been stuffing Krispy kreams! Had to go home so he could take them back. Didn't say a word to each other (the kids were in the garden). Can't say I want him to come back tbh. It's not just this, it's a whole heap of stuff. We've so nearly split before, but I'm terrified of being alone. But I can't be a fucking outcast EOW

LineRunner · 27/04/2014 17:42

TheMumsRush, my incipient relationship with OH is halfway down the toilet because of the 'outcast' thing. It's been a real issue for me this past fortnight. His reasoning is always 'stress'.

wheresthelight · 27/04/2014 17:48

You shouldn't be made to feel like an outcast hun!! Dp and I had a few rows about that before dd was born and I told him I wasn't going to hide away with dd, she is his kid too, I am his partner and his kids need to learn life isn't all about them. Not perfect but it is better and I don't feel like an outcast anymore

wheresthelight · 27/04/2014 17:48

And surely being alone is better than being miserable??

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 17:57

I think it might be. Just need to get some balls

wheresthelight · 27/04/2014 18:05

passes some big balls to mumsrush to borrow

notthegirlnextdoor · 27/04/2014 18:06

TheMumsRush - that is really shit. I'm sure their Mum will love that they've eaten crap all day long! Good on you for leaving the house tho.

wave Sorry to butt in! I have 2 DDs 5&3 and a DSS 11. DH and I have been together almost 17 months and married for almost 9 months. (We were friends before we fell in love. Known him around 5 years.)

So I'm sat waiting for DH to get back from dropping DSS off. Its a 2 bus ride 4-5 hour journey EOW.

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 18:20

Wow! That is a long journey! My sc live about an hour away. I quite like the 2 hrs to myself now. Smile I can put the house back together and calm ds.

TheMumsRush · 27/04/2014 18:20

Thanks wheres Grin

wheresthelight · 27/04/2014 20:23

I found them very helpful when leaving my ea exh! Only. Fair to pass them on!

alex7149 · 27/04/2014 21:12

dsd 1 and 2 have just got fb. They are only 11 and dp isn't best pleased and I agree but he is not consulted in anything.

dp is getting a bit low as they keep posting mum related stuff, putting their profile pics and cover photos as them with their mum and sharing those i love my mum things etc. there are pics of them with us which we have tagged them in.I see his point, we feel cut off from them as it is as their mum won't even let them stay an extra day when it's a bank holiday and now are feeling even more left out of their lives. I've said that some of it is probably because their mum probably helped them make their profiles and is hopefully monitoring what they do on it but he's still upset. Though he's glad he can talk to them on chat.

We are also a bit concerned as we have things on our fbs which we are sure we want the kids to see and don't really like the idea of having to be careful in case they see things - even just silly things like the odd swearword or a slightly child unfriendly status. but we couldn't exactly reject their friend requests. We weren't expecting them to be able to see into our adult world so early! deleting fb would mean cutting a line between us and long distance friends :/

sorry just venting a bit...