Never mind the blizzards, let's stick to the rota!

[Petal02]

DH has just set off, taking a shovel, across the country roads, to collect DSS17. The roads are not good tonight, and it's still snowing heavily.

If I were DSS's mother, I wouldn't want him undertaking the journey under these conditions.

And it's unlikely that DH will be able to get DSS back to his village tomorrow, (which is close to the school) but hey, just so long as we're rota compliant, nothing else matters.

I don't think many people would want their loved ones out on the roads tonight, and this just makes me resent DSS even more.

Allnew ? we have the similar issues with hobbies etc; on the (rare) occasions when DSS has looked at any sort of extra-curricular activity, including a job, he?s always tried (and failed) to find something that he could do on alternate weekends, it never enters his head he could break away from the rota and do an activity EVERY Saturday! But he?s been completely indoctrinated to believe this is the only way to live.

But your not his mum, her call?

Imagine (and it takes a lot of imagination!) that either of them ever got a girlfriend. Can you imagine the conversation: "No, sorry, I can't see you this weekend, I'm staying at dad's"

Are you talking to anyone in particular history?

Anyway, whoever you mean, yes "her call" indeed. Assuming that a mother has the 'child's best interests at heart, that would be great. But standing by and watching a parent treat their 'child' as a commodity to the detriment of their wellbeing, enjoyment, and ability to mature is fairly painful to say the least. I actually consider DSSs' mother to be an abuser. But yes, "her call" as you say

I don't know who history is talking to. I do know that my DSS has started to resent his Mum for governing his choices and taking over his life, so 'her call' it surely is, and good luck to her with that, says I

Also, just thinking, that that way of looking at things is the problem history No-one OWNS their child, step parent or birth parent. Are children to have no say or agency in their own choices or life? At what point do carers stop treating their children as possessions and start treating them with some respect, and like, erm, real people?

scroogemcduck absolutely.

I do find it frustrating that 'mum' is regarded as the be all and end all when it comes to children in these situations irrespective of any other factor/issue that may cloud their judgement.

A child is entitled to have both parents raise him/hair in their best interests without one parent imposing their views continually over the other.

The OP obviously. But point being you aren't the parents.

History do you mean legally, emotionally or in some other kind of way?

Step parents are parents to some degree and indeed my DH has a step parenting parental responsibility agreement in place from the court for my DS.

Don't be daft sparkle, we all know who the parents are.

I'm being serious History. You referred to the OP saying 'you aren't the parents' - it wasn't clear to me whether that was step parents in general or the OP and her DH. Your reference was plural so I assumed step parents - yes?

If you mean biological parents then yes yoga re correct as there can only be two people responsible for that but if you mean people with parental responsibility that is not always the biological parents.

yoga re = you are

Petal- when I read the title I knew it was going to be you. You have my sympathy. What a load of nonsense.

History- may I ask what is your purpose here apart from having a go at the OP or SPs ? I'm interested in your input, provided that you have any that is constructive.

history - it seems to be your sole contribution on this thread to observe that the OP isn't the 'child's' parent. Have you also noticed that grass is green? Because that would be an equally useful observation.