Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

[Squirrel3]

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

Happy St Patricks day Tarantula, Its dp's birthday today so I have an extra excuse to have that extra drink this evening...."But I've got to have one extra because its St Patricks day, I told tarantula I have one".

Don't think dp will mind though, we are going out for a curry with his oldest dd and her dp, her dp is driving so dp will be able to have a little birthday drink. But (horror) dp's mum and dad are going to arrive here soon to wish dp a happy birthday, I haven't seen them since they got back from the usa and I know his mum is going to play 500 questions with me about the new job, I am absolutely dreading it!

Thanks for asking about dd everybody, she is a bit brighter but it does take several weeks for the AD's to start to work, she is going back to the doctors Mon to demand that she be forward for the councelling (even if she does have to wait 5 months for it!)

I'd better run, got to think up answers for dp's mum, why she can't have a normal conversation I don't know, she just tends to fire questions at you all the time.

Naam, I don't know what would happen to the Nutty Stepmums Club if you wasn't here, thank you for keeping it going now I can't be here so much now.

Glad your dd is a little better squirrel And nice to hear she's getting some help, even if it will take a while

Have a lovely evening tonight - and tell your DP he should get into football cos it's much more interesting than fishing No seriously hope you both have a lovely time

And remember - you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Old statement I know but so, so true....

Have a good weekend everyone, will try to get on again over the weekend

Hope everyone's having a good weekend

squirrel hope your DP had a nice birthday and you both had a good night last night. Hope your dd is still OK too

Hi NAAM. How are things?

I'm just grabbing half an hour on here before I go to babysit for Delgirl. An evening's peace with complete control of the remote, a newspaper and Heat to read. Bliss!

An evenings peace sounds wonderful

I'm fine thank you, how are you?

hiya everyone, how are you all, just waiting for pizza dude

I'm good thanks. We've got dsd with us this weekend, she's being an angel. Bless her though, she's got toothache and a filling has fallen out. Last time this happened dh ended up having huge rows with her mum, so he's not looking forward to taking her home and mentioning it. Last time BM told him "if she's got toothache when she's with you, you take her to the dentist", and then she refused to take her and said she could wait until her next check-up. Dsd says this is what she's said this time too. . Still maybe I'm jumping the gun and she'll be sweetness and light on Sunday.

surfermum that's awful, poor girl Yes you may be worrying for nothing but I think past experience for all of us with BMs has shown that we're usually right!!

hello workingmum I could just eat some pizza, you're giving me ideas now....How are things with you?

no change, have put name on council housing but that could take months, looking for private rent but it is twice the price of my mortgage

Could he not find somewhere else? Does he know any of this is happening?

no not yet. want things in place b4 then. i know i should speak to him but it'll just makethings tense and dd doesn't need that

Hmm yes I can see that, but aren't things tense anyway? If you sit and talk about it there may be another solution

i don't know what else to do at the moment. don't thing there is a solution.

There's always a solution - not always an easy one but always a solution all the same. He's moved out before hasn't he? Couldn't he do it again?

he goes to his mothers who only livesup the road. she childminds and threatens to stop if we split. she tries not to put her two cents in but she can't help it. i want them all to know they can't bully me into staying. i can't keep breaking downlike last week. we bought the house off DP nan whenshe died and and MIL tells DP that I am taking the Pi** out of him in his NANS HOUSE. I don't want that hold. He canhave HIS NANS HOUSE if it makes things easier

cheeky cow! It's not his nans house any more! But I think you're probably right to move out. Even if he didn't live with his mum she would still be there and you'd never be able to do anything without him finding out. Is there anyone you and your dd could go and stay with for a few months?

the guy i had the fling with has offered but i don't thing that is a good idea. i couldn't impose on someone like that

I don't think it would be imposing - he's offered after all, you haven't asked. But I really think if you wanted to be with him you'd have jumped at the chance to go and live with him

there are many things involved there. MIL hates the other fella, he lives locally. If it becomes knowledge that i leave DP for him things will get v difficult. he makes me happy and i have had 9 months of hiding and i'm fed up. maybe just coming clean would be easier. but i'm scared. if he lived further away then it would be easier

Of course your MIL hates him!

I really think coming clean would be far easier here. You cannot live a lie - it's not fair on anyone, not just you. Yes people will talk but they'll soon get bored with it and move on to the next bit of gossip

Like I've said before, life isn't a rehearsal - you only get one chance at it. You deserve to be happy, and to be fair to your DH so does he. He can't be happy either with things as they are

Sorry I have to go now. Really hope you can find the strength to do this. I know it's hard - I agonised for months over whether to leave my ex, and I didn't have any children to think of, but I've never regretted it for a second. He's now got someone else and I know he's happy. Your DH would be too one day

I know I have to leave. I can cope with it but I hate seeing him so sad. I feel a lot for him but I don't love him like that anymore. I feel awful. I really do. I feel as tho I should stay to hold everything together but as last week showed I can't do it. I fall apart myself.
MIL hated him B4 any of this happened. He has a colourful past and MIL can't see how people can change. I have to do what I want to do I know this but I am SOOO SCARED.

Thanks for listening. NAAM. You must all dread me coming on at the moment because I am so depressing. I'll cheer up soon. I HOPE.

Don't apologise workingmum, just wish I could do more to help

Of course you're scared, I was too. But it will all be worth it when you're settled and happy, it really will. I know exactly where you're coming from saying you don't like seeing him so sad, I was the same - my ex would literally break down in tears in front of me and beg me to go back - but believe me he one day be able to see that it had to happen, unlikely as that may seem at the moment

How's everyone else? I'm feeling seriously annoyed with myself atm, I bought a chiminea last week and I think I've ruined it!! The instructions said to gradually build up the size of fire and I think I put too much wood on the 3rd fire, it's gone a funny colour. Really hope I'm wrong and it'll look OK when it cools down...

I've just put some cleaner in the oven, don't you just love that job?! Got rubber gloves at the ready to clean it out in a bit

First football match of today kicks off at half 1 just as DP gets home from work, then the other will follow on from that so that's our afternoon sorted

That should have said he will one day be able to see it had to happen

Hello all

How is everyone?

squirrel hope your DP had a nice birthday, how's your dd?

I hadn't ruined the chiminea [phew emoticon] so pleased about that

I am soooooo tired today. Seems like if I don't get at least 7 hours sleep I'm absolutely buggered the next day, think I'm getting old LOL

Hello naam, dd is ok thank you, I sooooooooo miss being on here during the day

DP had a lovely birthday thanks Naam, we had a row Saturday though, we had my grandkids and dgs got over-tired and got a bit whinney(sp?) and he wanted his mum (we didn't put him to bed because dd was picking him up later) and dp was so horrible to him "Can you cry any louder dgs? Go on, crying isn't going to make your mum turn up". I was furious, if it had been one of his kids he would have been completely different. I told him to leave dgs alone (dgs has been through alot this past week, his mum is depressed and his dad has walked out on them, no wonder he was a bit whinney!) Dp went upstairs and I didn't see him for the rest of the evening. I think he thought about it and felt a little bit guilty because when he saw dgs the next day he made an extra effort with him.

I must admit it is really concerning me that there seems to be different rules for his kids than the rules for my grandson (he is absolutely brilliant with dgd BTW, very often he is the only person that can settle her and she adores him).

Glad you didn't ruin you chiminea, we have a \link{http://www.gardenwinds.com/stores/GardenWinds/catalog/fire%20pit%20short%20with%20screen%20dome.jpg\fire pit} ourselves, I love an open fire on a Summer evening.