Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

[Squirrel3]

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

NAAM, the interview is Monday, now how do I tell my boss that I need more time off to go to another interview?

everyones luck changes.
Use it to your advantage. If you have to play to two of them of against each other to get the best deal then do it. From the sounds of it they need you more than you need them. You have accepted the other job so you aren't going to be short of pocket. I agree with NAAM. Exagerate what you have to see ifyou can get a better offer.

Could you pull a sickie. Or say you have a dentist/doctors appt

I'd rather be truthful, she knows I am leaving anyway, after all I may need a good reference and I don't want to upset her by going behind her back.

But I must say pulling a sicky looks tempting.

Say it is diarrhoea and vomiting, No-one questions it

I'm a big believer in what goes around comes around. Squirrel you worked so very hard for all those years - not at work but at home - and now you're getting the rewards for it. You deserve it

I think in your position you've nothing to lose by being totally honest and telling her exactly what's happened but I think I too would be tempted to pull a sicky...

My boss/friend (remember the one who got stuck in Mexico?) as well as being a director where I work owns 2 other companies and he's always saying how very, very difficult it is to find good staff so I totally agree with workingmum, it sounds as if they need you more than they need them

Oooooo, does he need anybody?

Your current boss knows you are leaving and wants the best for you surely, explain what happened and i bet if she was inyour position she'd do exactly the same thing.

I still can't believe that this guy used the words dazzling and dynamic!!!!!

MMMMMmmmmmm! going to check out their web-site make sure its all cosha (how the heck do you spell that?)

I'd have spelt it like that too

You'd have a heck of a trek up here every day

Can I ask everyone's advice on something? One of my brothers has a crap memory and I don't know if I should phone and remind him about DP and dsd birthday. Part of me thinks it's cheeky, part of me thinks if it was me I'd rather someone remind me than let me forget and part of me thinks why should I phone because he doesn't have to remind me when it's his dw/dd birthday!!! Trouble is if I don't ring and he doesn't send them a card I'll feel awful for them both. Think I've answered my own question haven't I??

Remind him gently, I'm sure he wont mind.

My dp's Mother bought me a Birthday book and wrote down all of the family members birthday's it it so I now have no excuse to forget!!!!!

Thinking about it maybe I should get her a Birthday book with my kids and grandkids Birthday's in it, but it wont make any difference, she seems to forget that I even have kids most of the time.

It's so sad squirrel that your MIL doesn't acknowledge your children/grandchildren. Has your DP ever spoken to her about it? If not would you want him to?

It does get to me a bit NAAM, I am expected to do everything for the stepkids and put them first all of the time and include them in everything we do but his family can't do the same for mine.

Dp reasons its because my kids are grown up, his brother has two stepkids and they call dp's parents Nanny and Grandad and she regards them as her grandchildren, but they were younger when BIL met his now wife.

What is happening as regards to the situation with your db, sil and the kids Naam?

I'm not surprised it gets to you. As you rightly say, you have to treat the skids as if they were family but they won't do the same for your family. It shouldn't matter that they are grown up, they're still your children - and your grandchildren aren't grown up!

We visited my brother the week before last - it was my niece's birthday - and I was going to ask them about the kids. When we got there my SILs brother and wife were there and she beat me to it and asked her, but my SIL was a bit sharp with her and just said they hadn't heard anything. I don't know what's happened but she clearly didn't want to talk about it. I'm sure it's all been very traumatic and stressful for all of them but people are bound to want to know. It's the same brother who I'm going to have to ring about DP/dsd birthday so I might just drop it into conversation - db won't bite my head off, if he doesn't want to talk about it he'll just change the subject

It's so sad, I hope it all works out for the kids. Its been a long time for the kids to not have stability in their lives with everything they have been through, keep us posted as to what is going on.

Yes I will, thanks for asking Last time I did speak to my db about it he said that during his chats with the older child it came out that for the last month his Dad was alive, he had been doing absolutely everything around the house because his Dad literally couldn't do anything. The poor lad had even had to carry him up the stairs to bed every night My db sounded very angry that his FIL hadn't told anyone he was dying. I know it must have been awful for him but you'd think he'd want to make sure his children were going to be looked after at the very least, I think it was very selfish of him not to tell anyone

Yes, I agree, if I knew something was going to happen to me I would def make sure my kids were looked after.

Its another reason I am so glad I met dp, he would make sure my kids were ok, there is nobody else to.

I would have def organised something else if dp wasn't here though.

Maybe he just couldn't face up to what was happening and refused to accept he was dying.

Yes you're probably right, I'm sure he thought about it even if he didn't do anything

I have to get up early tomorrow, need to get the overnight case out of the loft and pack for Saturday night. Have to find somewhere to hide the case from DP, got 3 places in mind, just hope it'll fit in one of them

He still has no clue?

When are you going to tell him?

Saturday morning. I did ask him last weekend if he wanted to know but he said he'd rather have a surprise on the day. All he knows is he's picking dsd up at 12 and that she's coming with us during the day but we'll be on our own in the evening - he's got no idea we're staying out overnight or where we're going/what we're doing

He's having breakfast in bed so I'll tell him while he's eating

Sounds lovely.

Its dp's Birthday soon, I'm not sure what to get him. He has just bought a new 4x4 (yes, I know but we need it for towing the boat etc) but it hasn't got a tow bar on it ATM so I may surprise him with it for his birthday if its not done by then.

But then again that sounds like a really boring pressie, but on the otherhand it means he will be able to take the boat out. Can't make up my mind!

It may sound a little boring but it's practical, he needs one and I'm sure he'd really appreciate it - I'd definitely do it if I were you. That's if he doesn't get it done beforehand, as you said - which he's bound to because you don't want him to

Don't know about anyone else but I have a real nightmare not knowing what to buy for DPs birthday/Christmas - and we've not been together 2 years yet!! It's bound to get worse!!!!

Hi ladies - hope I'm not interrupting just saw this thread and I'm step mum to a 17 year old boy ( he lives with us) and mum to a 3 year old girl .... it's usually good fun but DSS does however seem to think all his pals ( usually lovely) can come round most nights and doss at our house ... don't normally mind but DH has been quite ill recently ( just out of hosp) and I am running business, home, small daughter etc single handed - anyone know how to temporarily discourage the "youth club" ?