Back-to-school questions? Ask a primary school teacher for chance to win a £200 Tesco voucher

[CeriMumsnet]

A new school year brings plenty of excitement, but it can also come with lots of questions. Whether your child is starting Reception, moving into a new year group or simply settling back into school routines, September can bring everything from first-day nerves and friendship worries to packed lunch dilemmas and lost uniform.

That's why we've invited primary school teacher Emily Cheer to answer your questions about preparing for the new school year. Whether you're looking for practical tips, reassurance or advice on what to expect, Emily is here to help.

About Emily
Emily is a primary school teacher with 14 years of classroom experience across Early Years, Key Stage 1 and Key Stage 2. As a parent herself, she understands the worries, questions and emotions that come with each new school year, from both a teacher's and a parent's perspective. She's passionate about supporting children and their families, and is looking forward to sharing her experience to help answer parents' questions and ease any back to school worries.

We're working with Tesco to help take the stress out of back-to-school shopping. From great-value, quality-guaranteed school uniform to stationery, lunchboxes and water bottles, you'll find all your back-to-school essentials in one place

Everyone who posts a questions by 30 September will be entered into a prize draw to win a £200 Tesco voucher (T&Cs)

Hi @Angelfaced I’m sorry you’re both dealing with this. Classroom environments can be a massive sensory overload and sometimes several relatively small stresses accumulate. I would ask for a meeting with the school now, rather than waiting for the SENCO to return as there should be support in place while they are on maternity leave. Has he got ear-defenders and other sensory aids at school such as fidget tools, wobble cushion etc? A 'now' and 'next' visual if he doesn't have one already might help so he knows what to expect next, especially if that is something he likes, to help him complete the current task. Does he have regular sensory/movement breaks throughout the day? It would definitely be worth meeting with his new teacher too so she is aware of things that he finds particularly tricky at school and so you can share things that have worked for him in the past. I hope it improves for him in the coming weeks.

Hi @username2373 There is no specific legal requirement for staff-to-child ratios in KS2 during lunchtimes, the appropriate level of supervision is generally determined by the school according to the circumstances and its risk assessment. However, every school has safeguarding responsibilities towards their pupils. From my experience, lunchtimes can be particularly busy periods and, inevitably, incidents between children do sometimes occur. I have also found that situations can become exaggerated or lose some context when they are retold after school. If an incident directly involves your child and you have concerns, I would recommend contacting their class teacher so that you can establish what happened and discuss it appropriately. However, if the information relates to incidents involving other children and has been heard second-hand, I would be cautious about drawing conclusions without knowing the full circumstances.

Hi @GlitterEverywhereee Teaching methods have changed so much, particularly in phonics and maths, so it's completely understandable if some of your child's homework looks unfamiliar! There are some excellent YouTube videos that explain and demonstrate the strategies currently used in schools. If you're still unsure, speak to your child's class teacher. They should be able to explain the method your child has been taught, or show you how to use it, so you can reinforce the same approach at home.

Hi @hannahp1209 The fact that he enjoys listening to stories is a brilliant starting point, as he already associates books with something enjoyable. I would continue reading to him every night and have that as an enjoyable experience for both of you. You could encourage him to join in with small, manageable parts, perhaps reading one page while you read the next, taking turns with sentences, or letting him read the speech of a favourite character. Choosing books based on his interests, including comics, joke books, magazines or fact books, can also help. It doesn't always have to be a traditional reading book. If you have already tried some of these strategies and your child is still really reluctant to read, a small incentive can sometimes help. With some of my more reluctant readers at school, I have found that rewards such as house points or stickers for reading at home can provide that little bit of extra motivation they need. Lots of praise for their effort can help too. Once reading becomes more of a routine and their confidence grows, you may find they need the incentive less and less.

Hi @StickChildNumberTwo Take advantage of any transition days, open evenings or opportunities to visit the school, as becoming familiar with the building, staff and routines can make the change feel much less daunting. I also think it is important to talk positively about the move but also give your child plenty of opportunities to tell you what they are worried about. Sometimes things that seem small to adults, such as finding the toilets, getting lost, remembering a locker code or knowing where to go at lunchtime, can be the things children are most anxious about. Over the summer, you can practise some of the practical skills they will need, such as packing their own school bag, following a timetable, organising homework and travelling the route to school if they will be going independently. One of the things that had the biggest positive impact on our daughter's transition to secondary school was friendships. Her two best friends along with a large proportion of her primary school class were moving to the same secondary school, which gave her some familiar faces and made the transition feel much less daunting. If your child has friends who are moving to the same school, it can be really helpful to arrange a few play dates or opportunities to meet up over the summer, particularly just before they start. It gives them a chance to talk about how they're feeling, share any worries and get excited about the move together. Knowing they have someone familiar to look out for, and that they can have each other's backs during those first few weeks, can provide a lot of reassurance.

Hi @problembottom Ah, it is so common at this age! They are still learning how to navigate friendships, manage disagreements, compromise and understand other people's feelings. Sometimes the closest friendships can also be the most intense, which can lead to lots of falling out and making up. I would encourage her to talk about what has happened, but try not to take sides unless there is something more serious going on. Help her think about how everyone involved might have felt and what she could do differently next time. Given what happened at the end of Year 2, I would also have a chat with her new teacher so they're aware of the situation and can keep a discreet eye on things. Sometimes a little time apart and encouragement to play with other children is exactly what a friendship needs. Hopefully, with a fresh start in Year 3 and a bit of support, things will settle. Try not to worry about every little fall-out. A lot of this is simply children learning the social skills they will need as they grow up.

Hi @saffysabir Honestly, I'd focus much more on confidence and independence than academics. Practise things like putting their coat on, opening their lunchbox, recognising their belongings, going to the toilet independently and knowing that it's always okay to ask an adult for help. Talk positively about school and take advantage of any settling-in sessions or opportunities to visit. Reading books about starting school can help too, especially if they're a little nervous. Keep sharing stories, chatting, drawing, counting and playing together and enjoy that last summer before they start school! Perhaps the biggest thing you can give them is the reassurance that school is a safe, exciting place and that you'll be back to collect them at the end of the day. I also love the idea of having a little ritual that's just yours before they go into school. It could be a secret handshake, a particular cuddle or kiss, a silly saying or a special wave goodbye. Doing the same thing each morning can give them that little bit of reassurance before you leave. Keep your goodbye positive and confident, even if you're feeling a little emotional yourself! That special routine can become something they associate with “Mum/Dad is going now, I'm safe at school, and they'll be back later."

Hi @salemaxo There are lots of fantastic resources available if your child needs a little extra help. BBC Bitesize is a great starting point, particularly for primary maths and English, and Oak National Academy has free lessons and resources covering the national curriculum. Oak can be particularly useful if your child needs something explained again in a different way, with resources available for areas such as maths, reading, writing, spelling and grammar. For younger children who need support with reading and phonics, resources such as Alphablocks, Phonics Play and Teach Your Monster to Read can make practising feel much more like a game than additional schoolwork. Games like 'Hit the Button' is also a great free game for helping them to learn tables, or TT Rockstars is a subscription alternative but lots of schools invest in this now so check first before investing in anything! YouTube can also be really useful for finding demonstrations of current teaching methods, particularly for maths and phonics, which may be very different from the way we were taught (I use this if I'm unsure how to help with year 7/8 maths!) However, if your child is regularly struggling with their schoolwork, I would also have a chat with their class teacher rather than feeling that you need to tackle it all at home. Ask which particular areas they are finding difficult and what strategies or resources are being used at school, so you can reinforce the same approach at home. Most importantly, I would keep any extra practice short, manageable and positive! Ten minutes of successful practice can be far more valuable than a long session that leaves them feeling frustrated or believing that they're "not good" at a subject.

Hi @CarelessWimper You can do extra learning activities at home, but I absolutely would not feel that you have to. Children already have a long day at school, so I think the most valuable learning at home is often the kind that happens naturally through play, conversations and everyday activities. Sometimes the best thing for outside school is to give children opportunities to try things, make mistakes, solve problems and gradually learn to do more for themselves - independence is so important and there are so many school-aged children who lack it! Most schools have reading as part of homework so I would highly recommend that and establish a love of reading at home if you can. You can also practise maths without worksheets: let them handle money in a shop, work out change, tell the time, measure ingredients when baking, play board or card games, practise times tables in the car or estimate how many things are in a container. Writing can be incorporated naturally too - they could write a shopping list, make a birthday card, keep a little diary, write instructions for a game or create their own comic or story. Following their interests can make a huge difference. I think there are lots of valuable life skills that children don't always get the opportunity to practise enough at school e.g. learning to sew on a button, preparing a simple meal, following a recipe, using basic tools, gardening, managing a small amount of money or learning how to look after their belongings. I also think it's important to give children opportunities to take safe, age-appropriate risks. Things like climbing, exploring outdoors, having a go at something without an adult immediately stepping in, using kitchen equipment with supervision, or solving a problem themselves can all help develop confidence and independence.

Hi @SplishSplash123 I had one like this above - I wouldn't over question! If you've tried a few different tactics and answers are still minimal then I would change the subject and try again later. The question "How was your day?" asks them to summarise an enormous amount of time and experience in one go and can seem too overwhelming to answer so they often just reply something like 'It was fine." I try to use what I know to help ask questions they're more likely to answer, for example instead of "What did you eat today?" I would look at the menu and say "Did you choose the Jacket or lasagna?" For my eldest at secondary, I find asking questions about their friends first sometimes helps to open them up. You can find some great sentence starters online to help too! I would also try and give them some quiet time and a snack before jumping in with questions. Try and notice when your child is most naturally chatty and try then - this might be at bedtime, dinner time, or while they are doing something else like drawing or building rather than a face-to-face conversation.

Hi @Seagullslanding Similar strategies to a question above...Sometimes the closest friendships can also be the most intense, which can lead to lots of falling out and making up. I would encourage her to talk about what has happened, but try not to take sides unless there is something more serious going on. Help her think about how everyone involved might have felt and what she could do differently next time. If it is the same children repeatedly you could have a chat with her teacher to ensure they're aware of the situation and can keep a discreet eye on things. Hopefully the summer and a change of class has helped; sometimes a little time apart and opportunity to play with other children is exactly what a friendship needs.

Hi @alshareif It can be really difficult when your child is anxious about returning to school, particularly when there doesn't seem to be one obvious reason for it. I think the first thing is to listen and acknowledge how they're feeling rather than immediately trying to convince them that there's nothing to worry about. Try asking gentle, specific questions rather than just “Why don't you want to go to school?” Sometimes children genuinely don't know what is making them anxious. School anxiety can have lots of causes and doesn't have to involve bullying. Before they return, start getting back into the school routine with regular bedtimes and mornings. Talk positively about going back and remind them of things they enjoy, such as seeing a particular friend, favourite lesson or teacher, without dismissing their worries. You could also create a little goodbye ritual, such as a particular cuddle, secret handshake or phrase you say every morning. That predictable routine can make separating feel a little easier. If possible, arrange to see a school friend towards the end of the holidays or first few weekends. Having someone familiar to look forward to seeing on the first morning/Monday mornings can be really reassuring. Most importantly, let the school know. Their teacher may be able to greet them at the door, arrange a morning check-in or simply keep a closer eye on them for the first few days/weeks. I would also praise the little brave moments: “I know you felt worried this morning, but you still went in and I'm really proud of you.” The aim isn't necessarily to make all the anxiety disappear, but to help them gradually feel confident that they can cope even when something feels worrying.

Hi @Haleyscomets Yes, I think this is becoming increasingly common. I love the idea of schools offering a pre-school evening for parents, giving friendly, practical advice about skills such as toileting, dressing and eating independently. Many schools are already working really hard with parents to encourage these independence skills before children start school. It’s about working together and giving children the best possible start, rather than placing blame on parents.

Hi @MayCottage Ah, that’s really difficult, especially if it was an unexpected move and the friendship was such an important part of their school life. As a teacher, I would acknowledge that they are going to miss their friend rather than immediately trying to replace that friendship. In school, I’d quietly look for opportunities to help them connect with other children, perhaps through paired work, small group activities or sitting them with children who share similar interests. Established friendship groups can be hard to break into, so a little gentle support from the teacher can make a big difference. I’d also keep an eye on lunchtimes and playtimes, as these can sometimes be the hardest periods when a close friend has left. Most importantly, I’d give it time. New friendships often develop naturally when children are given the right opportunities rather than feeling pressured to make a new “best friend”.

Hi @TheKestralNextDoor It can be a tricky balance, particularly at the beginning of the school year when some children need lots of reassurance and support to settle. I always try to remember that the confident, independent children still need our time and attention too, they’re just less likely to demand it! I make a conscious effort to check in with all the children, notice what they’re doing, praise their achievements and give them time to talk and share. In those first few weeks, teachers work really hard to establish a trusting, happy environment and create a real sense of being a ‘team’. Some children will naturally need more support at certain times, but ultimately you want every child to feel noticed, valued and included, whether they’re crying at the classroom door or bouncing in without a backwards glance! More relaxed parts of school life, such as art afternoons, visitors, school trips, special activity days or practical lessons, can also be brilliant times to chat with different children and discover interests or strengths that might not always come through in the classroom.

Hi @BristolMum96 Policies should be written in line with SEND legislation, not the other way around.

Thanks to everyone who shared a question for Emily, and thanks to Emily for the helpful answers so far. We really hope you've found this Q&A useful and have had a smooth return to school!

Congrats to @ShallWeDance who is the winner of the prize draw!