How do you give your children more independence whilst keeping them safe? Share with Vodafone - £200 voucher to be won

[GraceEMumsnet]

From an early age our children are learning how to be independent, and as a parent, it’s important to nurture and encourage this behaviour. However, striking a balance between your child's desire for independence with their need for safety and restrictions can be tricky. With this in mind, Vodafone would like to hear your experiences of encouraging independence in your children whilst keeping them safe.

Here’s what Vodafone has to say: “Neo won’t just delight your little ones with all it’s amazing features and Disney partnership. It’ll delight you too. Neo works with the Vodafone Smart App where you can create a trusted circle of contacts so that the kids can contact them as well as contact you. The Quick Call feature enables the kids to phone home at the touch of a button, and Neo can’t be used to browse the internet or call people you haven’t specifically added to the trusted contacts circle. You can also set parental controls to help keep the kids safe and manage their screen time. Unlike most activity trackers, Neo can keep you connected to your kids even over very long distances – and you can take it on holiday too, because it works in over 100 countries. You can also view Neo’s location on a map from your phone at the touch of a button for the ultimate peace of mind.”

How do you encourage your children to be more independent? Do you have tips on keeping them safe when out and about for the first time? Perhaps you gave them small responsibilities early on and built up from there? Maybe it was all just a lot simpler with your second child?

Post your experiences on the thread below to be entered into a prize draw where one lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

I will do what my parents did, teach them safety and trust them - but make sure I've done my best to keep them safe and to let them know that.
I will let them travel (with an adult supervision), stay over at friends, choose what they want to do and where they want to go- just ask them to be sure to let me know and make sure I can contact them when needed

In this day and age safety is the single most important factor when training a child to become independent. There are dangers from strangers, from curiosity and physical dangers from traffic etc.

A tracking device is perfect to help reassure me as a loving parent who practices attachment parenting. I have an 8 year old and 6 year old. I tried a tracker in my daughters backpack when she went on a school trip when she was 5. With 6 teachers watching her in a group of 32 children she managed to get lost. I knew straight away she was lost because the tracker alerted me. My husband and I drove down to the wildlife park and found her and brought her back to the teachers! Sometimes you have to trust the technology that will keep you safe. It was invaluable piece of equipment until it stopped working and I am in the lookout for another. Money isn't an issue. Safety takes precedence anytime! I don't want to scare my children either telling them we live in a nasty mean world with dangers everywhere, instead I will protect them and let them explore the world at the same time.

Now she is able to walk to school in a group of 4 children. She understands the dangers of walking alone. I have taught her about safety when on the Internet. She knows her home address and my mobile number off by heart. She has learnt self defence and knows her best shot is when the kidnapper is about to capture her, after being captured the chances of escape diminish.

I have taught my children to trust their instincts. If something is not right beware. Independence is important but it should not come at the expense of safety.

Small steps that can be built upon gradually has always been my approach along with a tracking watch so for reassurance I we can see where dc have gotten to!
I think it’s also important to talk about what if scenarios so your dc have alternative plans if something happens. Oldest child is autistic so modelling always helps him.
Smart watches have been a game changer for our piece of mind.

They are at far more risk of harm from excessive internet use than they are when out so I wouldn't be buying a product like Neo which is intended to get them sucked in to that earlier.

Children who are online more have higher risks of all sorts of harm's such as suicide and MH issues. Big tech companies and phone companies are targeting younger and younger children, with cynical tie ins like this linked to Disney.

Sorry should have added, the aim of this product is to get young children to be long term purchasers of smart watches going forwards by getting them used to wearing them young.

Honesty about the dangers that are out there, not to scare them but to let them know that the world isn't always a happy, kind and fluffy place!

My son is nearly 13 now but we started with letting him walk the 8 minute walk to school in year 6 (age 10) with a group of friends, this then progressed to popping to the park at the end of our road at the weekends and him having to be back at a certain time, if he wasn't back he knew that we would come and get him and then he would lose park time next time. He then got a mobile but he had to agree to installing the Life 360 app so that we can look and see where he is, he's at secondary school now but the app is great as it tells us that he has arrived at school and also when he has left. I can also see when he has chosen to miss a bus home in favour of popping into the McDonald's that's conveniently near the bus stop!!

Little steps with plenty of examples, walking a bit ahead of me to get used to walking to school on her own, paying for things herself at the checkout. She’s practicing and does a little bit here and there. Will give her move freedom when she is keeping safe and making sure she knows where everything is, and what to do when things go wrong.

I'm more old fashioned and I'd rather allow kids to have some freedom instead of being tracked like animals like I used to have a kid living in the countryside. I try not to freak them out thinking the boogey man is out there to get them. I teach them common sense, tell them where they can and can not go, what times to be home, make sure I know where they are.

its very difficult today, so much different to when we were younger, but all you can do is trust them and set some sensible rules

My Dd started walking home
Herself this year - she takes her phone and texts me when she is leaving.

By letting them look out for each other whilst doing chores and l keep a little distance

Once they know what to do in different emergencies, then let them do things you are both comfortable with outside of your comfort zone.

Consequences- I let my teenagers have freedom but they must be contactable at all times by phone otherwise they will not be granted the freedom they want. They don't have to be in at any specific time, but they must keep me informed of their whereabouts and plans. Friends are welcome here anytime. If they have problems they are encouraged to talk about them.

This past year has been difficult to allow the freedoms I had planned for my Y6 DD. Instead, we talk more about potential situations. I give her scenarios, and we talk through possible outcomes or solutions. I tell her to trust her gut instinct, it’s rarely wrong. She knows she can tell me anything that is happening, and as long as she is honest about the situation, I can always help.

Letting them know of the dangers out there and gradually give them more independence as they get older

I let my oldest walk to school on their own with me following behind, always in sight but far enough so that they had to make their own decisions about crossing roads and so on, for the first few weeks of walking ‘on their own’. Gradually we made the distance further apart until we both felt confident. It seemed much easier with the next two. I do sort of feel bad about this as then my older DC had responsibility for them. I was the oldest child in my family and this irritated me and also made me feel responsible for my two siblings from a young age ( and I still do) and the pressure to be the ‘sensible one’. And now I feel bad as I have visited this on my own DD.

I’m very lucky because I live on a street with only 8 houses, and there is only one way into our street. So the only people who drive up here are the people who live here, who all go slow because of the children, or the bin men.I’ve just recently started letting my DD play outside, and she is in her element. I think if we lived on a busy road, I wouldn’t let her out until she was a lot older!

I've put a tracker on their phones

I like the idea of the Neo for children who are taking their first steps going out alone.

For me it was allowing small steps and if DD proved she could be trusted to extend that. I was very lucky to live in a small village so she could do things like go to the library after primary school and walk home alone or go to the park which is less than a minute walk away.

Trust and building steps up slowly over time. That way changes seem smaller for adults and children. Even more important with very anxious children I think. Lots of reinforcement.

Firstly it is imperative to understand as a parent that they are more at risk from family/ close friends than any stranger. The uncomfortable truth is you father or husband is more likely to sexually abuse them than a stranger.

Abduction usually is from a trusted person, therefore with this in mind. I have always encouraged them to be own and discuss with me anything which has happened they don't understand or feel comfortable with. I explained that i will always be able to fix the problem and often bullies or bad people lie about consequences in order to make you do things.

They know who is picking up when and to never accept a lift off anyone unless I have agreed it or they are on our safe list
Of people.

I have banned snap chat and tick took as they are a peadophiles dream

They have phones which they let me check regularly and have social media but follow safe guidelines.

They don't have expensive bikes or state of the art phones so they don't attract robbers.

I do not encourage them to talk to homeless people or give change etc

The train in Brazilian juijitsu and MMA (out sports of choice but it helps)

Can you tell I've worked investing child sexual offences for years?

Teach them the dangers of 'the big world' strangers, being alone and isolated, roads, I think common sense is something we which is intuitive and a gradual process, from the first steps and being careful about the hazards around them, and just grows naturally, but being open about stranger danger, on-line use, rail safety, being with friends, and how to deal with any on-line abuse and bullying.

@Duvetflower

Get them to tell you if it's safe to cross the road whilst out with them to build up confidence and check they're safe.

I like this one. I think I will do it when my little one gets older.

A lot of these are for older kids. My baby is learning independence for the first time. Learning to walk. I've rearranged furniture in my open plan flat so that my LO doesn't get to the things in don't want her getting hurt on before I do whilst at the same time making more space for her to practice walking. At first she just had a playpen so that she could coast the sides all she wanted and I'd put things in hard to reach places to build muscle memory but to reduce the prison feeling I'd open the pen when I'd finished a dangerous chore like cooking or hanging things on the flimsy rack. When my LO is standing and walking confidently I will have her "help" me with the washing. When out and about I've picked designated walking places that are nice and away from roads as were at the edge of town there are few playing parks but plenty of nice cosmopolitan green space. I've recently walked her without the pram and found it easier than dragging a pram around but I did carry her around because there are main roads between here and there. She has not played with a lot of things we've said no to for a while now so I'm hoping that this is because she is now aware that some things aren't safe to play with. I'm hoping that we can slowly make progress like this until she's old enough to set her own goals and milestones.

Our daughter finds the phone tracking app invaluable when checking on her early teens children - gives them more independence and parents the reassurance of knowing where they are.