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Mumsnetters share with Cancer Research UK the life admin that they never get around to doing, including updating or writing their Will
LucyBMumsnet · 20/01/2020 10:30
This sponsored discussion is now closed. Thank you to everyone who posted on this thread.
Often when we have children, it feels impossible to find the time to do anything that isn’t absolutely crucial…and before you know it, there are things on your to-do-list which have been on there for well over a year or decade. Those little jobs around the house, buying a gift for your OH, clearing out the wardrobe or – one you might not have thought of – sorting out your Will. With this in mind, Cancer Research UK would like to hear about the things you struggle to get around to doing.
Here’s what Cancer Research UK has to say: “We know that updating your Will or writing one from scratch can be a daunting prospect, and one of those things that you might feel just isn’t a priority right now. However, we think writing a Will is far too important to ignore; if you don’t, not only could you leave your loved ones with distressing admin, but it also means the law would decide how your estate is distributed – and this might not be in line with your wishes. Cancer Research UK offer a Free Will Service open to anyone over the age of 18 which guides you through the process step by step, and you can have your Will written within 30 minutes, and tick that job off your list.”
What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing? What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out? Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)? Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?
All who share their thoughts and feelings on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw where 3 lucky MNers will each win a £100 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).
Thanks and good luck,
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*If you'd like to find out more about CRUK’s Free Will Service and legacy gifts please click here
IHadADreamWhichWasNotAllADream · 21/01/2020 19:37
Assuming you’re still in England @Ratbagcatbag the gift to your ex-husband in your will will not take effect now that you’re divorced: your daughter would probably get everything. However assuming she’s still a child you should still make a new will and sort out trusts, trustees etc.
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 21/01/2020 20:44
I’ve written my will; it was one of the first things I sorted out - along with life insurance - when I became a single parent. It gives me peace of mind that the DC would be provided for if I died suddenly.
Something I never get round to: spring cleaning my bedroom. I sort out the communal areas and the kids’ bedrooms but run out of energy by the time I get to mine!
Hopezibah · 21/01/2020 21:50
We DID eventually get around to writing our will a few years back as part of the charity donation scheme and it feels a relief to have done so. Other life admin is sorting out pensions properly!!! And the never ending need to do minor decor repairs to the house which there never seems a good time to do.
milliefiori · 21/01/2020 22:21
I remember when DC were born one of the other mums in our mum & baby group was a solicitor dealing with wills. I said she was the incentive we needed to write ours and asked her to do it, but never followed up on it. DC go off to uni this year. Still haven't done it.
PickAChew · 21/01/2020 22:29
Our will has been on our to do list for a while. Really should get it sorted.
Also have a phone call I've been needing to make before christmas. I hate talking on the phone but it needs to be done. I've put it offf because I've had other stuff on and i was told I'd hear from them at some point.
voyager50 · 22/01/2020 11:53
I would never use Caner Research Uk's free will service - they fund testing on animals - many other cancer charities do no support animal testing.
I have had a free will written by Animal Aid who help animals and campaign to stop animal testing so I have left a donation to them as part of the will.
dublinmary · 22/01/2020 12:52
We haven't made wills, mainly because the issues around guardians are complex, my family are in another country and DH has no appropriate family. Interesting point above though about getting the finance elements sorted, and resolving guardianship separately.
Many charities take part in the Free Will service, so you can use that for a charity of your choice.
Meltedwellie · 22/01/2020 15:46
I haven’t got round to updating an old pension with my married name. Keep meaning to do it but on the few occasions I’ve tried, no-one has answered the phone. I should think about a will but they are very expensive and if charities help you, there is an obligation to leave them a donation in your will.
cheesenpickles · 22/01/2020 17:09
Along with the usual leaky taps and shopping around for cheaper gas and electric, I keep putting off getting our wills sorted. It should be straightforward as we know who we want as guardians etc but the fact I want to ring fence things for my kids makes it trickier. My mum died when I was 23 and automatically everything went to my dad - which is fair enough and I wouldn't have expected anything else. However since she died he has met someone new and amended his will to leave her everything - again, it's his prerogative but I know my mum would be devastated to have known. So, when there's super simple will writing kits and mirror wills etc they don't seem to cover it and I would rather have a water tight legal document that ensures me when I've gone, no matter what happens, my kids will be able to get photo albums and family items and they won't end up going to someone else. It's less about the money and more about the representation of time spent that those things are.
Pixiepops · 22/01/2020 17:09
Getting a will sorted has been an ongoing item on my to do list since I had children 6 years ago. My new years resolution was to actually do all of the things on the list, so I'm determined I will this year. I definitely see it as more of a priority than DP does, but am hoping that action from me might encourage him to get organised too.
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 22/01/2020 17:42
I need to get a will done too - one thing putting me off is that I have no idea what it costs! I asked the solicitor I used when we bought our house, and all she did was send me a leaflet about making wills. That’s no good - I want to know whether to earmark £100 for it or £250 or what.
Also on my list are: smear, boiler service, finish doing the remortgage paperwork (that one’s urgent!), get the kittens added to the pet insurance (they’re now 9 months old), find the login details for my pension and work out my death in service payment and whether that means I need life insurance as well or not.
Titective · 22/01/2020 19:06
I inherited some shares and my DF has even set up a money manager account for them but I just never check them. I did my will when I bought my house and whilst the children didn't exist then, provision was made for them. I'm reasonably happy with what would happen but you never know if people will actually carry your wishes out.
Zofloramummy · 22/01/2020 21:30
I really need to sort my will out, I am a single parent and there are issues around who my dd would live with. She has a father but he only has supervised access, my wish would be that she resided with my parents.
I really need to sort this out! Thanks for the reminder and I’ll check out the link.
LifeBeginsNow · 23/01/2020 11:38
I made a will just before a major operation last year. I was due to be admitted and I had a sudden panic on about what would happen to my family if I die. I think the stark reality of signing a consent form highlighting death as a possible outcome of my surgery really pushed this to the forefront of my mind.
In the end, I googled how to write a will and picked something off there. If I'd have known about CUK's free will writing service I think I'd have gone with them as I'd know it was correct.
Danascully2 · 23/01/2020 11:59
I have a DIY will form (our circumstances are pretty simple) but it has been sitting in a drawer for over a year now :( one issue is that there isn't really anyone obvious to ask to be a guardian - ideally I'd like someone local so kids wouldn't have to move but think it has to be someone a bit further away and in a city which would be a massive change in lifestyle for them. Other life admin that doesn't happen includes printing photos and putting on walls or in albums.
DillBaby · 23/01/2020 13:02
We haven’t made wills. We started the process but we argued too much about who to leave stuff to.
DH wants his sister to have custody of our DC if we both die and I don’t because I don’t particularly like her. I’d prefer my mum to have custody. So neither of us will sign the will that the other one wants to write.
Assets are also an issue - DH thinks I should leave everything to him but I’d prefer to leave everything in trust for DC with a lifetime interest in the house for DH. If DH remarries I don’t trust him to ensure that DC receive “my” share - he thinks if I die it’s all his and he can do what he wants with it, including buying a house with a new wife or spending it on a round the world cruise. My share is for my child, not for him to fritter away.
So anyway there was a lot of shouting and arguing, and the topic of wills was dropped in order to keep the peace.
Ragwort · 23/01/2020 16:13
I made a will as soon as I started earning a salary , and have just updated as I got married, then when we had a child.
It really isn't difficult or that expensive, but the chaos you leave behind if you don't have one is horrendous for your family at a time when they are grieving. Please, just do it.
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