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Mumsnetters share with Cancer Research UK the life admin that they never get around to doing, including updating or writing their Will

313 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 20/01/2020 10:30

This sponsored discussion is now closed. Thank you to everyone who posted on this thread.

Often when we have children, it feels impossible to find the time to do anything that isn’t absolutely crucial…and before you know it, there are things on your to-do-list which have been on there for well over a year or decade. Those little jobs around the house, buying a gift for your OH, clearing out the wardrobe or – one you might not have thought of – sorting out your Will. With this in mind, Cancer Research UK would like to hear about the things you struggle to get around to doing.

Here’s what Cancer Research UK has to say: “We know that updating your Will or writing one from scratch can be a daunting prospect, and one of those things that you might feel just isn’t a priority right now. However, we think writing a Will is far too important to ignore; if you don’t, not only could you leave your loved ones with distressing admin, but it also means the law would decide how your estate is distributed – and this might not be in line with your wishes. Cancer Research UK offer a Free Will Service open to anyone over the age of 18 which guides you through the process step by step, and you can have your Will written within 30 minutes, and tick that job off your list.”

What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing? What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out? Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)? Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?

All who share their thoughts and feelings on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw where 3 lucky MNers will each win a £100 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,

Insight T&Cs apply

*If you'd like to find out more about CRUK’s Free Will Service and legacy gifts please click here

Mumsnetters share with Cancer Research UK the life admin that they never get around to doing, including updating or writing their Will
OP posts:

TheCoolerQueen · 28/01/2020 08:29

I need to make a will, and also sort out POA, and funeral plans.

I am pretty organised with most other things so it doesn't make any sense that I haven't done any of the above. I think it's because I didn't have anything of any value for a long time plus the feeling that I wasn't old enough (which is obviously ridiculous).

I am going to have a good think about it these next couple of months.


EchoElephant · 28/01/2020 15:56

I made a will when I was married, it was simple to do.
But since I got divorced 6 years ago I haven't updated it. I'm stuck because one of the people I nominated to deal with my will has died and I don't have an alternative.

It's one of those things that I should ask a friend to help me with but most of my friends have enough going on in their lives that I don't want to add any extra burden.

I hoped I would meet a new partner and that would solve this issue. Instead I'm ignoring it. Until I see things like this and realise I should think about it again.


tangledyarn · 28/01/2020 23:50

I need to sort out a will. Not having children (or property) means that it isn't a top priority. I need to take a look at my pension and savings and figure out what I should do with them, have a long term partner but not married and will soon have caring responsibilities for a sibling so need to get some things sorted out around them as well like POA/appointeeship but its complex so have been burying me head in the sand for too long!


BasiliskStare · 29/01/2020 04:54

Have done Wills and financial power of attorney - the one I have not done ( which I know from FIL's illness before he died ) is the medical POA ( or is it called welfare POA ) Anyhow - even if you are next of kin , without this you are not necessarily entitled to all information. This is my next thing to do for DH & DS and me )


Cazza1257 · 29/01/2020 13:50

I have never got around to writing a will even though I am now 62 and my husband is 80. He just won't entertain the thought at all and as we both have children from previous marriages, it just all seems too complicated for me.


MisguidedAngel · 29/01/2020 14:06

My daughter left her husband in june 2016 after discovering something really bad about him. In spite of me nagging, she never changed her will. Her decree absolute came through on 1st May 2019, she committed suicide on the 30th and she hadn't changed her will.

I assumed that divorce made a previous will null and void but it doesn't. So her original will made when she married, was enacted. It was a typical mirror will, everything to him if she died and vice versa. If they died together, the joint estate was to be divided between her sister and his, and they were to be executors. The divorce simply removed him from the will as if he had died, so the sisters inherited.

As it happens, my daughter's ex is estranged from his family so none of her considerable wealth will find its way to him, and his sister and parents have done nothing wrong. But we don't know what her wishes actually were at the time of her death. As it happens I am the recipient of her pension and she asked me years ago to divide it up between her godchildren, her sister, her best friend and me, so at least that happened.

One more thing - the trustees of the pension actually asked the opinion of the executors I.e. the two sisters, as to whether I should get the pension! Not a problem in this case but it could cause a lot of trouble in some families.

Moral - make a will, keep it up to date and think about your pension nominees.


Elliebobtail · 29/01/2020 17:26

We manage the normal admin ok such as mot’s and other bills. We still haven’t got a will though... mainly as I really don’t know who would be able in our family to take on our kids if something happened to us, so we have procrastinated :(


Montydoo · 29/01/2020 18:29

What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing?

Everything and anything - dentist check-ups, changing my energy suppliers to a cheaper and - and making a will.

What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out?

Just motivation, time and 'getting around to it'

Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)?

Not really, but one must get their affairs in order.

Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?



Ange211 · 29/01/2020 20:21

There are loads of jobs I never get round to doing lol. I don't have a will but DH does. I really should get one sorted!


Alo2019 · 29/01/2020 22:57

I wrote a will fact being November 2018 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and was in hospital for a month after 2 surgeries to remove my brain tumour my brain was very swollen so had to have part of my skull remain in my abdomen for 4 months. In March 2019 I had my last surgery to replace my skull which has left me with a metal plate in my head. So you don’t know literally what is around the corner so I have made a will as a mother of three children Inwant them to have the best..


StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight · 30/01/2020 00:46

I haven't got around to my will because I don't know who to leave my estate to. I got divorced 3 years ago, NC with my only sibling, in a new relationship. I want to leave everything to my sibling's kids - but they've turned their back on me too (it's complicated) and my relationship feels too new to leave everything to him. So a free will sounds like a very good idea and it's great that it's on offer - I just need to figure out what to do.


Gazelda · 30/01/2020 08:28

Sewing buttons back onto a top I only ever wear at Christmas! It's draped across dining room chair, staring at me.

And my will. Do t know why we keep putting it off. Actually, I do. It's because neither of us want to take time off work to do it (both in minimum AL allowance which is needed for childcare). I know that I could probably find a provider that will discuss it with us outside 9-5, but I haven't made the effort to find one.


minkeymonkeys · 30/01/2020 08:35

I really need to look around for better insurance deals. I always just renew and I know I'm wasting money.


Ganne1 · 30/01/2020 08:41

With a complex multi-country family, we had to make a will decades ago. But my computer files could do with a bit of tidying up!


happysouls · 30/01/2020 08:58

I have a will. It probably needs updating but I take comfort in the fact that I hardly have any assets so it doesn't really matter. Also I don't really care about what happens to my remains!
The things that I never have time for....DIY, everything is falling to bits! And paperwork is pretty organised apart from burning confidential waste where I now have 2 plastic bins overflowing with stuff!


Ellie2345 · 30/01/2020 09:03

Literally sorting a will and pension out, both top of the list priorities I need to do


AngelwingsPetlamb · 30/01/2020 09:09

I have a will but it needs updating and it’s the cost that puts me off.
I hate doing car insurance, house insurance because it’s boring and tedious.
In fact I find most tasks to do with money issues boring and leave them until last minute.


Spices001 · 30/01/2020 09:13

Definitely need to sort out my will!!!


OhMeows · 30/01/2020 09:15

I feel like I really need to sort out life insurance. We have both had some health problems, and DP has life insurance.

Also the usual, nails, hair roots, hairy legs etc...


Rachdayan · 30/01/2020 09:18

Definitely with others on Wills. I really think it’s one of those things that should be tied into other life events. I.e when you take a mortgage out you must have a Will in place, or when a baby is born it’s some thing that needs to be completed to register a birth. They should be made more accessible and easier to complete so it’s not that daunting task.


footdust · 30/01/2020 09:32

Keep meaning to sort out a will but never quite get round to it


twinklenicci · 30/01/2020 09:33

Ive never wrote a will as i have no assets or money to leave anyone . thats the only thing ive slacked with , but don't really think i need to do it


coziwozi · 30/01/2020 09:37

A will! We bought our first home just recently so I really need to get one. You never know what is round the corner.


janeyf1 · 30/01/2020 09:40

I still haven't made a will, no excuses really other than putting it off while busy with life's other challenges. Must sort it out!


jessiecat333 · 30/01/2020 09:44

I need to update my will. I did a will when my husband died young and the kids were younger but since then I remarried then divirced a few years later so really need to get a new one going

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