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Mumsnetters share with Cancer Research UK the life admin that they never get around to doing, including updating or writing their Will

313 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 20/01/2020 10:30

This sponsored discussion is now closed. Thank you to everyone who posted on this thread.

Often when we have children, it feels impossible to find the time to do anything that isn’t absolutely crucial…and before you know it, there are things on your to-do-list which have been on there for well over a year or decade. Those little jobs around the house, buying a gift for your OH, clearing out the wardrobe or – one you might not have thought of – sorting out your Will. With this in mind, Cancer Research UK would like to hear about the things you struggle to get around to doing.

Here’s what Cancer Research UK has to say: “We know that updating your Will or writing one from scratch can be a daunting prospect, and one of those things that you might feel just isn’t a priority right now. However, we think writing a Will is far too important to ignore; if you don’t, not only could you leave your loved ones with distressing admin, but it also means the law would decide how your estate is distributed – and this might not be in line with your wishes. Cancer Research UK offer a Free Will Service open to anyone over the age of 18 which guides you through the process step by step, and you can have your Will written within 30 minutes, and tick that job off your list.”

What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing? What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out? Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)? Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?

All who share their thoughts and feelings on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw where 3 lucky MNers will each win a £100 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,

Insight T&Cs apply

*If you'd like to find out more about CRUK’s Free Will Service and legacy gifts please click here

Mumsnetters share with Cancer Research UK the life admin that they never get around to doing, including updating or writing their Will
OP posts:

MadeForThis · 20/01/2020 21:19

I really need to write a will. Have life insurance etc sorted but no will. Have seen through losing dad this year how important it is to have one. Even if it just says everything hoes to my spouse.


Mangaroo · 20/01/2020 21:26

We have been putting it off due to not being sure how to legally handle our family setup in our original home country and our chosen home country we live in. Same-sex marriage and parenthood is not recognised the same way in these 2 countries and we don't know how to write a will that will apply the same way in both countries.


Bunnylady54 · 20/01/2020 22:04

Making a Will is something I have thought about quite often but never done. Life gets in the way really! We are both pretty chaotic when it comes to paperwork, filing etc in general so maybe a free service like the Cancer Research one would help us. We are both in our mid 50s & our daughter is only 11 so we definitely need to get our affairs in order


TellMeItsNotTrue · 20/01/2020 22:42

I made making a will a priority, but changing my will when necessary often does get put to the back of the list and can take a lot longer than it should to eventually get done


RainySaturday · 21/01/2020 00:36

Thanks for the thread. I've now done the starter online with a call booked tomorrow to complete it. I'd often thought of it and even got a DIY will kit but just never got round to it.
Also asked my youngest about guardianship she preferred, this made it an easy conversation instead of me building it up out of proportion and getting all morbid.
Just need to go through and weed out all my old bank statements and get rid, now. Time to dig out the chimenea and matches.....


SylvanianFrenemies · 21/01/2020 00:47

Wills haven't even made it onto my list of stuff I should do, havent, and feel guilty about. I guess I can now add them!

"Life admin" right now feels like painting the Forth Road bridge. It will never be complete! I need to get better deals on our broadband and utilities. What comes after that? I haven't a clue!


louisethedisease · 21/01/2020 06:56

I have a will, I set it up a year ago when I brought my house.


Asuwere · 21/01/2020 08:22

I have a will - pretty easy and quick to do, money well spent I think. (I hope)
I do keep putting off sorting out my paperwork folder though, I put stuff in it but
rarely take out old stuff. I need to make sure its it's up to date and have a list of contacts/log ins for all the utilities/mortgage/bank accounts etc to make it much easier if someone does need to sort out all my affairs.


EagleVisionSquirrelWork · 21/01/2020 09:12

Fulfilling my usual role as the voice of doom on threads like this, I've heard a few horror stories about making wills free of charge or for a reduced price in exchange for leaving a bequest to a charity. In particular, if there's a property to be sold, I've heard that executors are often hassled to sell quickly rather than holding out for a more appropriate price because the charity is aggressive about pursuing their bequest, to the detriment of the main beneficiaries. Just something to consider.

As for life admin generally, I'm afraid I'm not qualified to give any advice to anyone, as I'm completely useless at ploughing through it. Occasionally I come across to do lists from long ago and amuse myself by seeing if there's anything that can be crossed off yet, and how many things have just become obsolete as a result of the passage of time. Hopeless!


BuzzShitbagBobbly · 21/01/2020 09:16

EmpressLesbianInChair "I’m single, childfree & planning to stay that way so my will was pretty straightforward. The Dying Tidily list somebody mentioned upthread is an excellent idea though."

Speaking as that somebody, feel free to leave me a bequest in return! Grin


Ginbauble · 21/01/2020 09:44

We have written wills as we are not married so I thought that was important.

However my to do admin list is never ending and what gets pushed to the bottom every time is the minor DIY tasks like putting a new hinge on my wardrobe door and cleaning the windows cos it's not essential.

I also need to move some savings into isas or investments as it's not earning me much.


Gingerkittykat · 21/01/2020 10:04

I've had a bit of a health scare lately which has made me realise I need to sort things out. I have a will, I need to get some kind of folder where I have all of my paperwork, birth certificates, driving license and all accounts in one place in case the worst happens.


jacqui5366 · 21/01/2020 10:30

We have made a will, and nominated guardians to look after our children should the 'worst' happen, however the couple (my brother and sister in law) have now divorced, so we need to change this as it is now unworkable. Thanks for prompting me to update our wishes.


ohdannyboy · 21/01/2020 10:41

What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing?

Having my smear - I keep putting it off.

What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out?

Just having time - and the inconvenience of travelling to my doctors with 2 little ones on the bus.

Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)?

I have not thought of it - it's something I must do for sure with my OH - we are not married to it would be difficult to sort out estate - should the worst happen.

Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?

I am sure they could.


lovemyflipflops · 21/01/2020 11:01

As me an my partner are estranged, I have made a will (with a DIY will kit) that will give my children financial security, changed the details on my works pension, and taken life insurance. I have made sure (as far as I can) that things are in order. I will make a note on my phone to review this every January to see if anything needs amending. I think it is worth looking at Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service is worth a look, in case I have missed anything, or need to change my wording. Thanks Mumsnet for raising this.


lillypopdaisyduke · 21/01/2020 11:18

What are the odd-ends you never seem to get around to doing?

I am quite disorganised, so dental check-ups, changing my energy suppliers to cheaper ones ......making a will is way up there.

What are the things that stand in the way of you sorting these out?

Just me - putting it off, it all seems very complicated.

Where does writing or updating your Will feature on your to-do list (if at all!)?

Writing a will is something I need to do - but I don't know where to start.

Do you think Cancer Research UK’s Free Will Service would help you?

I'm sure they can.


pushchairprincess · 21/01/2020 11:56

there are so many things I have on my 'to-do' list, dental check-up, going to the doctors for my smear, and lastly writing my will, I have a works pension, own my home and have some savings which I would want to go to different family members.

This should be my new years resolution !

Any advice from Cancer Research would be most welcome.


Ratbagcatbag · 21/01/2020 12:24

There's a few bits of life admin that slip through but writing a Will is definitely on that list. I'm divorced and my ex remarried so his side of our joint will is now obselete on his new marriage. I still technically leave everything to him rather than my daughter. (Although we have a good relationship and he would make sure she got what she needed).
But that's a stupid assumption and this thread has made me think I really really should get on with updating it!


TheHagOnTheHill · 21/01/2020 12:41

I redidy will when I seperated from my husband and bought this house.Same solicitors,no problem.


mushforbrain · 21/01/2020 16:40

I am so embarrassed by the fact we haven’t got round to making a will yet that when all of my absolute closest friends were talking about it, I actually lied and pretended we had one. I lecture my husband about it all the time but never do anything about it! Therefore I know how important it is, but it’s just putting aside time for it.
Some help would be much appreciated to help it seem less daunting.


MrsFrTedCrilly · 21/01/2020 17:06

Both wills and pensions have been on my t fo list for years, I think if I’m brutally honest about it the thought scares me so I never get round to it Blush


JulesJules · 21/01/2020 17:10

I haven't made a will either, it's on my vague to do at some point list, all the day to day stuff just gets in the way. I must declutter as well...


Monstermuncher · 21/01/2020 17:17

Ah heck, that's a timely reminder that I need to update my will due to a change in circumstances.


Maybedefinitely · 21/01/2020 18:39

Yep keep putting off making a will because I want to ensure that if we both die then my child’s guardian would have access to money enough to look after them and not have a detrimental effect on their own family, but that the majority of our assets would be safeguarded for my child when they are an adult. I assume this will be complicated so keep putting off sorting it which is terrible.


bluerad · 21/01/2020 19:01

When I made my first will the solicitor asked what prompted me to do it. In his opinion people are prompted to make wills if they've just received a life threatening health diagnosis or if they were going on a big holiday. Sadly in our case he was right as my husband was dying of cancer.
I remarried five years later and made a new will to reflect the changes in my life.
I'm pretty good at keeping on top of admin and don't see it as a chore.

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