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MNHQ

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

457 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 17/12/2019 09:52

This sponsored discussion is now closed

Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,
MNHQ

Terms and conditions apply

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
OP posts:
BGcat14 · 05/01/2020 10:05

We got lots of help and advice understanding the property ladder which was helpful. They did offer help with the fees as we had a deposit but not the extra money needed for all the annoying fees to follow through. We are very lucky to have them!

ha2el · 05/01/2020 13:29

Because we bought shared ownership, both sets of parents gave us enough to buy an extra 10% of the property by way of the deposit. In this way they were reducing the amount we had to borrow, pay in rent and increasing our share for the future. I think that they were happy to help because they could afford this amount and preferred to help us out when we needed it and were struggling, rather then later on in our life.

GallusAlice79 · 05/01/2020 13:44

My parents and grandparents gave me £25k which was a 20% deposit at the time. It was a gift, which had to be confirmed to the mortgage company. However, I was moving in with my OH (he wasn't on the mortgage), and my mum, my OH and I all wanted it formally recognised that should my OH be added on at a later date, my family were entitled to get their 20% back. This was a way of ensuring that my family money stayed in the family if we split up.

We didn't split up and I still own the flat (myself), but my OH and I now jointly own a house. As far as I'm concerned, the flat belongs to my family and if my parents ever needed money (unlikely), I would take it back out to give them. The flat is now worth a lot more than I paid for it.

The money came from savings. I don't think it was specifically set aside for house/flat deposits because they wouldn't have foreseen the need for ridiculously high deposits.

My family told me about the deposit as soon as I said I wanted to buy. If the money wasn't there I wouldn't have been able to buy where I did or when I did as I had virtually no savings.

Funnily enough, my brother FORGOT that he was going to get £25k from the family and put an offer in on a house in the basis of his own savings! He remembered after his offer was accepted...had he not forgotten he would have probably bought a different house Shock

Cheryl1503 · 05/01/2020 14:34

My parents didn’t give me any money towards a deposit because when I bought, 100% mortgages were available!

rocketriffs · 05/01/2020 15:21

Living with my parents rent free helped me to save for a deposit, and also my Dad gave me his car for a birthday present and he suggested selling it to put towards a deposit, but apart from that ,they taught me to work hard and not squander money or waste it on daft purchases.

avery64 · 05/01/2020 15:26

My parents/in-laws weren't in a position to help us get on the property ladder. If anything they were against it worrying we would take on too much mortgage debt. However, we managed to buy a building plot for £300 (our savings) Then had a small bungalow built for £3000 with strengthened roof beams so we could extend when we could afford it. We built a bedroom upstairs when we had our first child then another and a box room when we had our second. The house grew with us. Now empty nesters we are adapting it once more for our retirement. We have been lucky in being able to help our children with their deposits.

runkaterun · 05/01/2020 15:37

My Dad came to view the first house that I bought. My parents taught me to save, so I could buy when I eventually got round to it

lorrainej162 · 05/01/2020 16:53

We didn’t get financial help, we got practical help with renovations and decorating. Our parents taught us the diy skills which have saved us a fortune over the years. And we spent quality time together on the way!

grannybiker · 05/01/2020 20:06

My Mum had set up a small savings account when we were small intended to pay for my wedding. However, I scuppered that plan by getting married before the account matured so we did the wedding on the cheap.
The bonus of this was that the money was still there when we decided to enter the realms of home-ownership. Mum's £2,000 actually funded the 10% deposit for our first home and very welcome it was too,
Those were the days!

RuleTheWorld91 · 05/01/2020 21:53

We didnt have help from either set of parents, other than some help moving in, and few moving in presents!

Jocelynne123 · 05/01/2020 22:34

My parents didn't help me get in the property ladder because they couldn't. They had rented all their lives which taught me I needed a house very young. They did help me get things to fill it and fully supported me.
I have a saving fund for my daughter and when she is older and has a job I will let her live with me rent free as long as she shows me she is saving her money and being responsible.

Flickabella81 · 05/01/2020 22:36

We were lucky in the fact my in-laws had saved some inheritance from their parents to give us a deposit for a new house. This meant we got on the ladder soon after uni age 21. We then moved again with our second child an for the third time to our dream home thanks to inheritance from my grandfather. We are so lucky for the help we had and love to host everyone now and spoil them!

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
tashadouglas · 06/01/2020 00:04

My mum paid towards the solicitors costs.

clauski · 06/01/2020 00:57

My parents saved hard in order to pay for the deposit when I was ready to get on the property ladder with my first flat. What I didn't get at a younger age was a car, as many branded clothes and footwear, or those kind of luxuries. It's only later when you realise just what a task saving this amount must have been, the sacrifices they would have made, and the benefit getting on that ladder has brought - I'm eternally grateful.

libra101 · 06/01/2020 05:40

My parents were quite generous when I was marrying and setting up our first home. They had a farm and thriving business, and were able to do this. The money helped enormously as neither I nor my future husband were earning much money at that time.

It's so difficult for people to get on the property ladder these days and when my daughter married, we also helped her with the deposit for their first home.

sweir1 · 06/01/2020 08:37

They gave me the cash deposit but then I took out money payment credit cards and gave them the money back

suzyq50 · 06/01/2020 08:47

I lived rent free back home for 2 years. Saved enough for a deposit for a shared ownership scheme.

thisone2 · 06/01/2020 10:21

Nothing, except the notion that it was a good idea.

hann24 · 06/01/2020 12:00

My parents have loaned me 20k to help with a deposit, but I am expected to pay it back with interest too. Gone are the days of 95% mortgages and affordable houses!

Iggy131313 · 06/01/2020 14:22

My parents wish they could have helped me but simply didn’t have the money.

I made a mistake as at 21 me and myexH got married, each set of parents gave us 4000 so we had 8000 to spend on the wedding. Both my parents and PIL suggested we use the money towards a house rather than a wedding, but we didn’t listen.

I don’t know if I will ever own a home, I’m 40 now, I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter, but I would like the stability. X

lcorrall88 · 06/01/2020 14:58

I haven't had any help from my parents to get on the property ladder. I have raised the question myself if we could have some help. However for a long time they have made their thoughts on money known 'you should always work for what you have' and as they worked for their house we too should work hard to be able to pay for a house of our own.

Although I believe it is much harder to get on the property ladder now than it was in their time. By the time my mother agreed to help it was too late, she was ill with cancer and had just paid off their mortgage and my dad was very happy to be debt free and didn't wish to have debt hanging over him alone.

When my mother died my inheritance was £3k again not enough to pay for a deposit on a house at the time we also needed a car. So the money went on this instead.

For my children I wish to help them any way I can and I aim to be more open and understanding than my parents when it comes to money.

baconbap · 06/01/2020 16:33

only because of inheritance - not the best of reasons

clareycat · 06/01/2020 17:16

My in-laws leant us our deposit which we'll be giving back when we sell our current house after we've rennovated it.

nanoobaku · 06/01/2020 18:29

Bought all the basic furnishings but made sure before committing had enough for those rainy days

pluckypuddin · 06/01/2020 18:48

My parents have been so supportive. My husband moved over here on a spousal visa. I had just turned 20 and was still living with them. My husband and I lived with my parents for three years whilst we saved a deposit for our first home (we also paid them rent but this was really reduced as they knew how hard we were saving). The first house we put an offer on fell through as we found out more about the property and found out the owner had kept some important details from us when we had made the offer (and why she was willing to sell it at such a bargain price). We were gutted. My parents had previously bought the house next door to them and offered to sell it to us for the same price that we had offered for the previous house (knowing full well that their house was worth more). They just said that the extra that they had given us off the house would be considered my inheritence and they would rather see me make use of it. Living next door to them can sometimes to tough but overall it's worked out well and we love our home (I'd loved this house since childhood). It was their suggestion and something we thought long and hard about before doing. They also gave us £2000 to help increase our deposit so we could get a better mortgage rate (which we paid back within 6 months).

My mum and dad were always really open about money and finances and I learnt a lot from them. I'll be forever grateful for the help they gave us but also for the knowledge I gained from them.